HE  WHO   GETS   SLAPPED 


He  Who  Gets  Slapped 

A  PLAY  IN  FOUR  ACTS 
BY  LEONID   ANDREYEV 


TRANSLATED    FROM   THE   RUSSIAN 
WITH   AN    INTRODUCTION    BY 

GREGORY    ZILBOORG 


NEW    YORK 

BRENTANO'S 

Publishers 


COPYHIGHT,     1922,    BT 

BRENTANO'S 


Copyright,  1921,  by 
iHE  DIAL  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 


All  rights  reserved 

First   Printing,   March,    1922 

Second  Printing,  July,  1922 

Third  Printing,  Februar}',  1923 

Fourth   Printing,   September,   1925 


Printed  in  the  United  States  of  America 


TG 


a 


The  first  regular  production  of  HE  in  English  was  by 
The  Theatre  Guild  on  January  9,  1922,  at  the  Garrick 
Theatre,  New  York.     The  original  cast  was  as  follows : 

l^'if  ]  Musical  Clowns  ....■■•  /  ^J'^'^  Jff^} 
PoUy  j  .      .      .      .      (  lydgar    Stehli 

Briquet,  Manager   of  the   Circus Ernest   Cossart 

Mancini,  Consuelo's  Father Frank    Reicher 

Zinida.    a    Lion    Tamer Helen    Westley 

Angelwal  Trapeze  Performers  .  '  '  I  Martha  Bryan  Allen 
Estelle     \  '  '  .      .      I  Helen  Sheridan 

Francois         Edwin  R.  Wolfe 

HE Richard  Bennett 

Jackson,  a  Cloxcn Henry   Travers 

Consuelo,  the  Equestrian  Tango  Queen.  .  .  Margalo  Gillmore 
Alfred  Bezano.  a  Bareback  Rider  ....       John    Rutherford 

Baron  Regnard Louis  Calvert 

A    Gentleman John    Blair 

Wardrobe   Lady Kathryn   Wilson 

Usher Charles  Cheltenham 

Conductor Edwin  R.  Wolfe 

Pierre Philip   Loeb 

A   Sword  Dancer Renee  Wilde 

Ballet   Master Oliver    Grymes 

Vera   Tompkins 

Ballet   Girls J     ,,  Anne  Tonnetti 

Marguerite  Wernimont 
Frances  Ryan 

Actresses  in  Circtis  Pantomime       .      '      '      '     S  ^^^]^    ^^^-,^^^^1 

I         aara  Enright 

Thomas,  a  Strong  Man Dante   Voltaire 

A    Snake    Charmer Joan  Clement 

A    Contortionist Richard    Coolidge 

A  Riding  Master Kenneth  Lawton 

A   Juggler Francis  G.  Sadtler 

Acrobats •     •      •      {  ,  Sears    Taylor 

I  iyUigi     Belastro 

Stage  Manager,  Philip  Loeb     Ass't  Stage  Manager,  Oliver  Grymes 

Produced  under  the  direction  of  ROBERT  MILTON 

Settings  and  Costumes  by  LEE  SIMONSON 


"Stage,  screen,  and  amateur  rights  for  the  translation 
and  the  original  play  in  all  English-speaking  countries 
are  owned  and  controlled  by  The  Theatre  Guild,  65 
West  35th  St.,  New  York  City.  No  public  readings  or 
performances  may  be  given  without  their  written  con- 
sent." 


Vll 


INTRODUCTION 

Leonid  Andreyev  as  a  literary  figure  was  bom  in 
the  gloomy  atmosphere  of  depression  of  the  'nineties. 
He  thus  appeared  upon  the  literary  stage  at  a  period 
when  the  old  and  splendid  generation  of  Turgenev 
and  Dostoevsky  had  already  passed  away  and  when 
Chekhov  had  begun  to  demonstrate  before  the  reader 
the  gloom  and  colourlessness  of  Russia  life. 

This  was  a  period  when  the  social  forces  of  Russia 
were  half  destroyed  by  the  reaction  under  Alexander 
III,  and  when  the  young  generation  was  trying  to 
rest  and  to  get  away  from  the  strain  of  social  hopes 
and  despair.  This  period,  briefly  speaking,  was  a 
period  of  melancholy,  of  commonplace,  ev^ery-day  pre- 
occupations, and  of  dull  terre  a  terre  philosophy. 

It  must  be  borne  in  mind  that  literature  was  the 
only  outlet  for  the  moral  and  Intellectual  forces  of 
Russia.  Political  reaction,  censorship,  complete  ab- 
sence of  civil  liberties,  and  the  cult  of  popular  ignor- 
ance upon  which  Czardom  based  its  power,  all  these 
made  the  written  artistic  word  almost  the  sole  expres- 
sion of  Russian  social  longings  and  idealistic  ex- 
pectations. 

ix 


INTRODUCTION 

It  is  therefore  only  natural  that  Russian  literature 
in  its  general  development  is  closely  interwoven  with 
the  political  and  social  conditions  of  Russia  at  the 
given  moment.  The  'nineties  were  a  period  of  depres- 
sion. After  the  assassination  of  Alexander  II  (1881) 
and  the  subsequent  tightening  of  the  chain  of  reaction, 
combined  with  a  general  debacle  in  progressive  and 
radical  circles,  the  Russian  intellectual  fell  into  a 
state  of  pessimism.  His  faith  in  an  early  liberation 
was  shattered,  his  hope  of  recovery  was  broken. 
Chekhov  is  the  most  characteristic  representative  of 
that  period ;  he  himself  called  his  heroes  "the  dull-grey 
people." 

Maxim  Gorki  and  Leonid  Andreyev  appeared  al- 
most simultaneously  at  that  time.  The  former  brought 
the  message  of  a  rebel  spirit  which  forecast  a  new  moral 
upheaval,  a  new  social  protest;  the  latter  appeared 
clad  in  the  gloom  of  his  time,  which  he  strangely  com- 
bined with  a  spirit  of  almost  anarchistic  revolt.  From 
the  point  of  view  of  historical  completeness  Leonid 
Andreyev  is  more  representative  of  the  epoch,  demon- 
strating at  once  two  contradictory  elements  of  the 
Russia  of  the  'nineties:  lack  or  even  absence  of  faith 
interwoven  with  protest  and  mutiny. 

Andreyev  is  symbolic  and  romantic.  Her  Majesty 
Fate  and  His  Excellency  Accident,  these  are  the  two 
dark,  unknown,  at  times  brutal  forces  which  dwelt  ever 
before  the  mind's  eye.    His  symbols  are  full  of  horror 


INTRODUCTION 

and  at  times  unbending  atrocity.  Beginning  with' 
his  short  stories,  In  Fog,  The  Life  of  Basil  of  Thebes, 
through  his  dramas,  The  Life  of  Man,  and  Anathema, 
until  his  last  writings,  he  saw  human  beings  in  the 
form  of  ghosts  and  ghosts  in  the  form  of  human  be- 
ings dominating  every  step,  every  breath  of  life.  Still 
his  gruesome  symbolism,  despite  his  genius  for  ren- 
dering his  images  in  a  clear-cut,  almost  crystalline 
manner,  did  not  appeal  to  many  of  his  contemporaries 
because  the  dark  shroud  in  which  Andreyev  enveloped 
life  was  impenetrable  and  at  times  it  was  impossible 
to  discern  in  that  gloom  the  few  values  w'hich  An- 
dreyev still  found  in  hfe.  Leo  Tolstoy  said  once: 
"Leonid  Andreyev  tries  to  frighten  me,  but  I  am  not 
afraid." 

Even  in  his  splendid  realistic  dramas  it  is  difficult 
for  Andreyev  to  rid  himself  of  the  habit  of  symboliz- 
ing and  dimming  the  few  rays  of  light  which  try  to 
filter  through. 

There  was  nevertheless  a  little  comer  in  Andreyev's 
artistic  heart  where  there  appeared  some  indefinite 
hope  which  never  acquired  a  specific  artistic  form,  but 
which  was  alluded  to  many  times  in  his  writings.  In 
his  short  story,  Thought,  he  makes  fragmentary  allu- 
sions to  his  half-hope,  half-idea:  "If  the  lot  of  the 
Man  be  to  become  a  God,  his  throne  will  be  the  Book," 
says  'the  hero. 

But  the  red  laugh  of  the  Russo-Japanese  war,  the 

xi 


INTRODUCTION 

abortive  revolution  of  1905,  the  general  ignorance 
and  darkness  of  the  masses,  the  strain  of  the  last  war, 
the  depreciation  of  human  life  as  a  value  in  itself, 
brouglit  Leonid  Andreyev  to  the  last  step  of  the 
pessimistic  ladder  which  he  was  ever  descending  into 
the  abyss  of  hopelessness.  This  state  of  mind  is  best 
illustrated  by  his  last  dramatic  work.  He,  the  One 
Who  Gets  Slapped. 

Here  we  spe  a  man  of  high  education,  of  great  in- 
tellectual achievement,  who  leaves  life,  willingly  in 
appearance,  but  forcibly  in  fact.  The  relations  of 
man  to  man,  of  group  to  group,  according  to  An- 
dreyev are  such  that  the  Man  is  forced  to  efface  him- 
self. Even  Thought,  or  the  Book,  could  not  help  the 
Man  to  become  a  God.  He  becomes  a  clown.  He 
performs  stunts,  he  gets  slaps ;  the  public  laughs,  being 
unaware  that  this  laughter  is  a  mockery  at  itself,  at 
its  culture,  at  its  thought,  at  its  achievement. 

The  characters  of  the  play,  as  the  reader  will  see, 
are  depicted  with  a  bitter  sarcasm  and  unfriendliness, 
for  Andreyev  seems  to  have  lost  his  last  faith  in  the 
Man.  The  good,  the  innocent  and  clean  heart  is 
bound  to  suffer  and  die.  His  Consuelo,  Zinida,  Be- 
zano  are  only  stray  rays  of  light  out  of  place  in  the 
world  and  even  in  the  world-circus  which  is  full  of 
spiders,  champagne,  and  human  outcasts.  Andreyev 
does  not  blame  these  outcasts.  On  the  contrary,  he 
feels  sympathy,  if  for  anybody,  for  just  these  clowns, 

Xu 


INTRODUCTION 

jugglers,  and  bareback- riders ;  but  life,  this  strange 
combination  of  fate,  accident,  and  cowardly  slander,  is 
stronger,  and  they  collapse  under  the  burden  of  this 
combination. 

He  is  perhaps  the  best  work  of  Andreyev,  at  any 
rate  his  best  dramatic  work.  It  is  more  adapted  to 
stage  conditions  than  his  previous  plays  and  is  not 
overcrowded  with  symbolic  ghosts.  Furthermore,  He 
is  a  remarkable  summary  of  Andreyev's  philosophy. 

Geegory  Zilboorg 


•  •• 

sill 


HE   WHO    GETS    SLAPPED 


CAST    OF    CHARACTERS 

CoNSUELO — a  bareback  rider  in  a  circus.  Billed  as  ''The 

Bareback  Tango  Queen." 

Mancixi — ConsueWs  father. 

He — a  clown  in  Briquet's  circus.     Billed  as  "HE  Who 

Gets  Slapped." 

Briquet — Manager  of  the  circus. 

ZiNiDA — a  lion  tamer,  Briquet's  xtnfe. 

Alfred  Bezano — a  bareback  rider. 

A  Gentleman. 

Baron  Regnard. 

Jackson — a  clown. 

Tilly  1 

p  r musical  clowns. 

Thomas,  Angelica,  and  other  actors  and  actresses  of 
Briquet's  circus. 

The  action  takes  place  in  one  of  the  large  cities  of 

France. 


HE    WHO    GETS    SLAPPED 
ACT  I 

A  very  large,  rather  dirty  room,  with  whitewashed 
walls.  To  the  left,  in  a  niche,  is  a  window,  the  only  out- 
side window  in  the  room,  opening  on  a  court-yard. 
The  light  from  it  is  so  dim  that  even  by  day  the  elec- 
tricity has  to  be  turned  on. 

At  the  very  top  of  the  centre-back  wall  is  a  row  of 
small  dusty  windows.  They  open  on  the  circus  hall.  At 
night,  when  the  performance  is  going  on,  a  bright  light 
shines  through.  By  day  they  are  dark.  In  the  same 
wall  is  a  large  white  door,  reached  by  two  stone  steps, 
and  nailed  fast. 

On  the  right,  almost  in  the  corner,  is  a  high,  wid&, 
arched  doorway  which  leads  to  the  stables  and  the  ring. 
By  day  it  opens  into  pale  darkness,  at  night  into  pale 
light. 

The  room  is  used  for  many  purposes.  It  is  the  office 
of  Papa  Briquet,  manager  of  the  circus;  here  he  keeps 
his  little  desk.  It  is  the  cloak-room  of  some  of  the 
actors.  It  is  also  the  room  where  the  cast  gathers  be- 
tween calls,  during  rehearsals  or  performances.  Again, 
it  is  a  check-room  for  used  circus  property,  such  as  gilt 

3 


4  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

armchairs,  scenery  for  pantomimes,  and  other  wares  of 
the  circus  household.  The  walls  are  covered  with  circus 
announcements  and  glaring  posters. 

The  time  is  morning.  In  the  circus  hall  a  rehearsal 
is  going  on,  and  preparations  are  being  made  for  the 
evening  performance.  As  the  curtain  goes  up,  the 
cracking  whip  and  the  shouts  of  the  riding-master  are 
heard  from  the  ring.  The  stage  is  empty  for  a  few 
seconds,  then  enter  Tilly  and  Polly,  the  musical  clowns, 
practising  a  new  march.  Playing  on  tiny  pipes,  they 
step  from  the  dark  doorway  to  the  window.  Their 
music  is  agreeable  to  the  ear,  but  small,  mincing,  arti- 
ficially cloxvn-like,  like  their  mincing  steps;  they  wear 
jackets  and  resemble  each  other;  same  smooth-shaven 
face,  same  height;  Tilly,  the  younger,  has  a  scarf 
around  his  neck;  both  have  their  derbies  on  the  backs 
of  their  heads.  Tilly  glances  through  the  window,  then 
they  turn  about,  still  marching. 

Polly 

[Interrupting  the  march']  :  Stop,  you're  out  again ! 
Now,  listen — [He  stands  close  to  Tilly  and  plays  into 
his  face.  Tilly  absent-mindedly  listens,  scratching  his 
nose.]  There!  Come  on  now!  [They  resume  their 
music  and  marching.  As  they  reach  the  door  they  meet 
the  manager  and  Mancini;  the  latter  walks  behind  the 
manager,   and  is  gnawimg  at   the   knob   of   his  gold- 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  5 

mounted  cane.  Count  Mancini  is  tall  and  slight.  The 
seams  of  his  clothes  are  worn  and  he  keeps  his  coat  hut- 
toned  tight.  He  assumes  extremely  graceful  manners, 
takes  affected  poses,  and  has  a  special  fondness  for 
toying  with  his  cane,  with  aristocratic  stylishness. 
When  he  laughs,  which  happens  often,  his  thin  sharp 
face  takes  on  a  marked  resemblance  to  a  satyr.  The 
manager,  "Papa"  Briquet,  is  a  stout  quiet  man  of 
average  height.  His  bearing  is  hesitant.  The  clowns 
make  room  for  the  gentlemen.  The  manager  looks 
questioningly  at  the  older  man.^ 

Polly 

[With  an  affected  accenf]  :    Our  moosic  for  the  pan- 
tomime !     The  March  of  the  Ants ! 

Briquet 
Ha!    Yes! 
[^The   gentlemen   walk   in.      The   clowns   resume    their 
music,    Polly    marching    on,    then    turning,    the 
younger  following.^ 

Polly 
Papa  Briquet,  Jack  is  working  very  badly  to-day. 

Briquet 
What's  the  matter  with  him? 


6  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Polly 

He  has  a  sore  throat.  You'd  better  take  a  look  at 
him. 

Briquet 

All  right.  Come  on,  Jack.  Open  your  mouth! 
Wider — wider.  [Turns  clown's  face  to  the  light  near 
the  window  and  examines  him  closely  and  seriously.^ 
Just  smear  it  with  iodine. 

Polly 

I  told  him  so.  I  said  it  was  nothing!  Oh!  Come 
on.  [They  go  away  playing,  marching,  practising 
their  funny  mincing  steps.  The  manager  sits  down. 
Mancini  strikes  a  pose  by  the  wall,  smiling  ironi- 
cally.'\ 

Mancini 

So.  You  give  them  medical  treatment,  too !  Look 
out,  Papa  Briquet,  you  have  no  licence. 

Briquet 

Just  a  little  advice.  They're  all  so  afraid  for  their 
lives. 

Mancini 

His   throat   is   simply  burnt   wdth  whiskey.      These 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  7 

two  fellows  get  drunk  every  night.  I  am  amazed, 
Papa  Briquet,  to  see  you  pay  so  little  attention  to 
their  morals.      [He  laughs. '\ 

Briquet 
You  make  me  sick,  Mancini. 

Mancini 

Count  Mancini  is  at  your  service ! 

Briquet 

You  make  me  sick.  Count  Mancini.  You  poke  your 
nose  into  everything,  you  disturb  the  artists  in  their 
work.  Some  day  you'll  get  a  thrashing,  and  I  warn 
you  that  I  shan't  interfere. 

Mancini 

As  a  man  of  superior  associations  and  education  I 
cannot  be  expected  to  treat  your  actors  as  my  equals ! 
What  more  can  you  ask,  Briquet?  You  see  that  I  do 
you  the  honour  of  speaking  with  you  quite  familiarly, 
quite  simply. 

Briquet 
Ha!  ha!  ha!     [Slightlz/  threatening]     Really! — 


8  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 

Never  mind  my  joke.  What  if  they  did  dare  attack 
me — ever  seen  this,  Briquet?  [He  draws  a  stiletto 
out  of  his  cane  and  advances  it  silently.'\  Useful  little 
thing.  By  the  way,  you  have  no  idea  of  the  discovery 
I  made  yesterday  in  a  suburb.  Such  a  girl!  [^LaugJis.^ 
Oh,  well!  all  right,  all  right — I  know  you  don't  like 
that  sort  of  sport.  But  look  here,  you  must  give  me 
a  hundred  francs ! 


Briquet 


Not  a  sou. 


Mancini 

Then  I'll  take  away  Consuelo — that's  all 

Briquet 
Your  daily  threat! 

Mancini 

Yes,  my  threat !  And  you  would  do  the  same,  if 
you  were  as  shamefully  hard  up  as  I  am.  Now  look 
here,  you  know  as  well  as  I  do  that  I  have  to  live  up 
to  my  name  somehow,  keep  up  the  family  reputation. 
Just  because  the  tide  of  ill-fortune  which  struck  my 
ancestors    compelled    me    to    make    my    daughter,    the 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  9 

Countess  Veronica,  a  bareback  rider — to  keep  us  from 
starving — do   you   understand — you.  heartless  idiot! 

BRiaUET 

You  chase  the  girls  too  much!  Some  day  you'll 
land  in  jail,  Mancani! 

Mancini 

In  jail?  Oh,  no!  Why,  I  have  to  uphold  our 
name,  the  splendour  of  my  family,  [laughs']  haven't 
I?  The  Mancinis  are  known  all  over  Italy  for  their 
love  of  girls — just  girls!  Is  it  my  fault  if  I  must 
pay  such  crazy  prices  for  what  my  ancestors  got  free 
of  charge?  You're  nothing  but  an  ass,  a  parvenu 
ass.  How  can  you  understand  Family  Traditions?  I 
don't  drink — I  stopped  playing  cards  after  that  acci- 
dent— no,  you  need  not  smile.  Now  if  I  give  up  the 
girls,  what  will  be  left  of  Mancini?  Only  a  coat  of 
arms,  that's  all In  the  name  of  family  tradi- 
tions, give  me  a  hundred  francs ! 

Briquet 
I  told  you  no,  I  won't. 

Mancini 
You  know  that  I  leave  half  of  the  salary  for  Con- 


10  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

suelo — but — ^perhaps  you  think  I  do  not  love  my  child 
— my  only  daughter,  all  that  remains  to  me  as  a 
memory  of  her  sainted  mother — what  cruelty!  \^Pre- 
tends  to  cry,  wipes  his  eyes  with  a  small  and  dirty 
lace  handkerchief,  embroidered  uith  a  coronet.l^ 

Briquet 

Why  don't  you  say,  rather,  that  she  is  foolish 
enough  to  give  you  half  her  salary.     You  make  me 

sick 

\_Enter  Zinida,  the  lion  tamer;  burningly  beautiful, 
her  self-confident,  commanding  gestures  at  first 
glance  give  an  impression  of  languor.  She  is 
Briquet's  unmarried  wife.^ 

Zinida 
\To  Mancini]  :     Good  morning. 

Mancini 

Madame  Zinida!  This  barbarian,  this  brute  may 
pierce  me  with  his  dagger,  but  I  cannot  control  the 
expression  of  my  love !  \^Kneels  facetiously  before  her'\ 
Madame!  Count  Mancini  has  the  honour  of  asking 
you  to  be  his  wife. 

Zinida 
\To  Briquet]:     Money? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  11 

Briquet 
Yes. 

ZiNIDA 

Don't  give  him  any.  [Sits  down  wearily  on  a  torn 
sofa,  shuts  her  eyes.  Mancini  gets  up  and  wipes  his 
knees. ^ 

Mancini 

Duchess!  Don't  be  cruel.  I  am  no  lion,  no  tiger, 
no  savage  beast  which  you  are  accustomed  to  tame.  I 
am  merely  a  poor  domestic  animal,  who  wants,  miaow, 
miaow,  a  little  green  grass. 

ZiNIDA 

[Without  opening  her  eyes'l :  Jim  tells  me  you 
have  a  teacher  for  Consuelo.     What  for.'' 

Mancini 

The  solicitude  of  a  father,  duchess,  the  solicitude 
and  the  tireless  anxiety  of  a  loving  heart.  The  ex- 
treme misfortunes  of  our  family,  when  I  was  a  child, 
have  left  some  flaws  in  her  education.  Friends,  the 
daughter  of  Count  Mancini,  Countess  Veronica,  can 
barely  read!  Is  that  admissible?  And  you,  Briquet, 
heartless  brute,  you  still  ask  why  I  need  money ! 


12  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ZiNIDA 

Artful! 

Briquet 
What  are  you  teaching  her? 

Mancini 

Everything.  A  student  had  been  giving  her  lessons, 
but  I  threw  him  out  yesterday.  He  had  the  nerve  to 
fall  in  love  with  Consuelo  and  stood  there  miaow'ng 
at  the  door  Hke  a  cat.     Everything,  Briquet,  that  you 

don't  know — literature,   mythology,   orthography 

{Two  young  actresses  appear,  with  small  fur  coats 
thrown  over  their  light  dresses.  They  are  tired 
and  sit  down  in  the  corner.^ 

Mancini 
I  do  not  wish  my  daughter 


ZiNIDA 

Artful! 

Briquet 

You  are  stupid,  Mancini.  What  do  you  do  it  for.? 
[In  a  didactic  tone]  You  are  fearfully  stupid,  Man- 
cini.    Why  does  she  need  to  learn?     Since  she  is  here 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  13 

she  need  never  know  anything  about  that  life.  Don't 
you  understand?  What  is  geography?  If  I  were  the 
government  I  would  forbid  artists  to  read  books.  Let 
them  read  the  posters,  that's  enough. 
[^During  Briquet's  speech,  the  two  dozens  and  an- 
other actor  enter.     They  sit  down  wearily.^ 

Briquet 

Right  now,  your  Consuelo  is  an  excellent  artist,  but 
just  as  soon  as  you  teach  her  mythology,  and  she 
begins  to  read,  she'll  become  a  nuisance,  she'll  be  cor- 
rupted, and  then  she'll  go  and  poison  herself.  I  know 
those  books,  I've  read  'em  myself.  All  they  teach  is 
corruption,  and  how  to  kill  oneself. 

First   Actress 
I  love  the  novels  that  come  out  In  the  newspaper. 

Briquet 

That  shows  what  a  foolish  girl  you  are.  You'll  be 
done  for  in  no  time.  Believe  me,  my  friends,  we  must 
forget  entirely  what  is  happening  out  there.  How 
can  we  understand  all  that  goes  on  there? 

Mancini 

You  are  an  enemy  of  enlightenment,  you  are  an  ob- 
scurantist, Briquet. 


14  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Briquet 

And  you  are  stupid.  You  are  from  out  there. 
What  has  it  taught  you.''  ^The  actors  laugh-l  If 
you'd  been  bom  in  a  circus  as  I  was,  you'd  know 
something.  Enlightenment  is  plain  nonsense — nothing 
else.     Ask  Zinida.      She  knows   everything  they  teach 

out  there — geography,  mythology Does  it  make 

her  any  happier?     You  tell  them,  dear. 

Zinida 
Leave  me  alone,  Louis. 

Mancini 

\^Angrily'\  :  Oh !  Go  to  the  devil !  When  I  listen 
to  your  asinine  philosophy,  I'd  like  to  skin  you  for 
more  than  a  paltry  hundred  francs — for  two  hundred 
— for  a  thousand.  Great  God !  What  an  ass  of  a 
manager!  Yes,  right  before  every  one  of  them  I  want 
to  say  that  you  are  a  stingy  old  skinflint — that  you 
pay  starvation  wages.  I'll  make  you  give  Consuelo  a 
raise  of  a  hundred  francs.  Listen,  all  you  honest 
vagabonds,  tell  me — who  is  it  draws  the  crowd  that 
fills  the  circus  every  night.'*  You.''  a  couple  of  musical 
donkeys?  Tigers,  lions?  Nobody  cares  for  those 
hungry  cats ! 

Zinida 

Leave  the  tigers  alone. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  15 

Mancini 

Beg  your  pardon,  Zinida.  I  did  not  mean  to  hurt 
your  feelings — honestly.  I  really  marvel  at  your 
furious  audacity — at  your  grace — you  are  a  heroine 
— I  kiss  your  tiny  hands.  But  what  do  they  under- 
stand about  heroism?  \^An  orchestra  softly  plays  the 
Tango  in  tJie  circus.  He  continues  with  enthusiasm.^ 
Hear!  hear!  Now  tell  me,  honest  vagabonds,  who  but 
Consuelo  and  Bezano  draws  the  crowds !     That  Tango 

on  horseback — ^it  is — it  is Oh,  the  devil!     Even 

his  fatuousness  the  Pope  could  not  withstand  its  lure. 

Polly 
True !    It's  a  great  trick — wasn't  the  idea  Bezano's  ? 

Mancini 

Idea!  Idea!  The  lad's  in  love,  Hke  a  cat — ^that's 
the  idea.  What's  the  good  of  an  idea  without  a 
woman!  You  wouldn't  dance  very  far  with  your  idea 
alone,  eh,  Papa  Briquet? 

Briquet 
We  have  a  contract. 

Mancini 

Such  base  formalities. 


16  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ZiNIDA 

Give  him  ten  francs  uiul  lot  him  go. 

Mancini 

Ten!  Never!  Fifteen!  Don't  be  stubborn.  Papa. 
For  the  traditions  of  my  house — twenty.  I  swear — 
on  my  honour — I  can't  do  with  less.  [Briquet  hands 
him     txcenty  francs.     Nonchalantly)   Merci.     Thanks. 

ZlNIDA 

Wh}'  don't  you  take  it  from  3'our  baron.? 

Mancini 

[Raising  his  eyebrows  haughtily,  quite  indignant^  : 
From  the  Baron?  Woman!  who  do  you  think  I  am 
that  I  should  be  beholden  to  a  stranger.? 

ZiNIDA 

You're  plotting  something  artful.  I  know  you  very 
little,  but  I  guess  you're  an  awful  scoundrel. 

Mancini 

\_Laugh^^  :     Such  an  insult  from  such  beautiful  lips. 
[Enter  an  "artist,"  apparently  an  atJdcte.^ 


HK  WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  17 

Athlete 

Papa  Briquet,  there's  a  gentleman  from  beyond  the 
grave  asking  for  you. 

ACTKESS 

A  ghost? 

Athlete 

No.     He  seems  alive.     Did  you  ever  see  a  drunken 
ghost? 

Briquet 

If  he's  drunk,  tell  him  I'm  out,  Thomas.     Does  he 
want  to  see  me  or  the  Count? 

Athlete 
No,  you.     Maybe  he's  not  drunk,  but  just  a  ghost. 

Mancini 

[Draws    himself    together,    puffs    upj :      A    society 
man? 

Athlete 

Yes.     I'll  tell  him  to  come  in. 
\^One  hears  the  whip  cracking  in  the  ring.    The  Tango 


18  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

sounds  very  low  and  distant — then  comes  nearer 
— louder.     Silence.^ 

Briquet 
[Touching  Zinida's  armi :     Tired? 

ZiNIDA 

[Drawing  hack  a  little^  :     No. 

Polly 
Your  red  lion  is  nervous  to-day,  Zinida! 

ZiNIDA 

You  shouldn't  tease  him. 

Polly 

I  played  a  melody  from  Traviata  for  him.  And  he 
sang  with  me.  Wouldn't  that  be  a  good  trick  to 
stage,  Papa  Briquet? 

[Thomas  brings  in  the  gentleman,  points  out  the 
manager,  and  goes  heavily  away.  The  gentle- 
man is  not  young,  and  he  is  ugly,  hut  his  rather 
strange  face  is  bold  and  lively.  He  wears  an  ex- 
pensive overcoat,  with  a  fur  collar,  and  holds  his 
hat  and  gloves  in  his  hand.^ 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  19 

Gentleman 

\_Bowing   and   smilingi  :      Have   I   the   pleasure   of 
addressing  the  manager? 

Briquet 

Yes.     Won't  you  sit  down,  please?     Tilly,  bring  a 
chair. 

Gentleman 

Oh!     Don't  trouble.      [Looks  around.']     These  are 
jour  artists?     Very  glad 

Mancini 

[Straightening  and  hawing  slightly']  :     Count  Man- 
cini. 

Gentleman 
[^Surprised] :     Count? 

Briquet 

[Indignantly]  :    Yes,  Count.     And  whom  have  I  the 
honour  of 

Gentleman 
I   don't  quite  know   myself — yet.      As   a   rule   you 


20  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

choose  your  own  names,  don't  you?  I  have  not  chosen 
yet.  Later  you  might  advise  me  about  it.  I  have  an 
idea  already,  but  I  am  afraid  it  sounds  too  much  like 
literature — you  know. 

Briquet 
Literature.? 

Gentleman 

Yes!  Too  sophisticated.  [They  all  look  surprised.^ 
I  presume  these  two  gentlemen  are  clowns.?  I  am  so 
glad.  May  I  shake  hands  with  them?  [Stands  up 
and  shakes  hands  with  clowns,  who  make  silly  faces.^ 

Briquet 
Excuse  me — but  what  can  I  do  for  you? 

Gentleman 
[With    the   same   pleasant,    confident   smilel:      Oh. 
You  do  something  for  me?     No.     I  want  to  do  some- 
thing for  you.  Papa  Briquet. 

Briquet 
Papa  Briquet?     But  you  don't  look  like 


Gentleman 
[Reassuringlyl :      It's    all    right.      I    shall   become 
'like."     These   two   gentlemen   just   made   remarkable 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  21 

faces.     Would  you  like  to  see  me  imitate  them?    Look! 
\^He  makes  the  same  silly  faces  as  the  clozcms.^ 

Briquet 
Yes!      [Involuntarily'\     You  are  not  drunk,  sir? 

Gentleman 
No.     I  don't  drink  as  a  rule.     Do  I  look  drunk? 

Polly 

A  little. 

Gentleman 

No — I  don't  drink.  It  is  a  peculiarity  of  my 
talent. 

Briquet 

[Familiarly^  :  Wliere  did  you  work  before?  Jug- 
gler? 

Gentleman 

No.  But  I  am  glad  you  feel  in  me  a  comrade,  Papa 
Briquet.  Unfortunately  I  am  not  a  juggler,  and 
have  worked  nowhere — I  am— just  so. 

Mancini 

But  you  look  like  a  society  man. 


g2  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Gentleman 
Oh,  you  flatter  me,  Count.     I  am  just  so. 

Briquet 

Well,  what  do  you  want?  You  see  I  am  obliged  to 
tell  you  that  everything  is  taken. 

Gentleman 

That's  immaterial.  I  want  to  be  a  clown,  if  you 
will  allow  me.  [Some  of  the  actors  smile.  Briquet 
begins  to  grow  angry. ^ 

Briquet 

But  what  can  you  do.?  You're  asking  too  much. 
What  can  you  do.? 

Gentleman 

Why!  Nothing!  Isn't  that  funny!  I  can't  do  a 
thing. 

Briquet 

No,  it's  not  funny.  Any  scoundrel  knows  that 
much. 

Gentleman 

[Rather  helpless,  but  still  smiling  and  looking 
around]  :     We  can  invent  something 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  03 

Briquet 

[Ironically^:    From  literature? 

[The  clown  Jackson  enters  slowly  without  being  no- 
ticed by  the  others.  He  stands  behind  the  gen- 
tlemen.^ 

Gentleman 

Yes,  one  can  find  something  literary,  too.  A  nice 
little  speech  for  instance  on,  let's  say,  a  religious 
topic.     Something  like  a  debate  among  the  clowns. 

Briquet 
A  debate!    The  devil!     This  is  no  academy. 

Gentleman 

[Sadly^  :  I  am  very  sorry.  Something  else  then. 
Perhaps  a  joke  about  the  creation  of  the  world  and  its 
rulers  ? 

Briquet 

What  about  the  police.?  No,  no — notliing  like 
that! 

Jackson 

[Coming  forward^  :  The  rulers  of  the  world.'*  You 
don't  like  them.?     I  don't  either.     Shake. 


24  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Briquet 

\_Introducing^  :  Our  chief  clown,  the  famous  Jack- 
son. 

Gentleman 

[F.nthusiastically']  :  Great  heavens — you !  Allow 
me  to  shake  hands  with  you  heartily !  You,  with  your 
genius,  you  have  given  me  so  much  joy! 

Jackson 

I'm  glad  indeed! 

Briquet 

[Shrugs  his  shoulders;  to  Jackson']  :     He  wants  to 

be  a  clown !     Look  him  over,  Jim. 

[Jackson  makes  a  motion  at  which  the  gentleman  hur- 
riedly removes  his  coat  and  throws  it  on  a  chair. 
He  is  ready  for  the  examination.  Jackson  turns 
him  round,  looking  him  over  critically.'] 

Jackson 

Clown?  Hm!  Turn  round  then.  Clown?  Yes? 
Now  smile.  Wider — broader — do  you  call  that  a 
smile?     So — that's  better.     There  is  something,  yes — 

but   for    full   developments [Sadly]      Probably 

you  can't  even  turn  a  somersault? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  25 

Gentleman 
{^Sighsl :     No. 

Jackson 
How  old  are  you? 

Gentleman 

Thirty-nine.  Too  late?  [^Jackson  moves  away 
with  a  whistle.     There  is  a  silence. '\ 

ZiNIDA 

[Softly]  :    Take  him. 

Briquet 

[Indignant]  :  What  the  hell  shall  I  do  with  him  if 
he  doesn't  know  a  thing?     He's  drunk! 

Gentleman 

Honestly  I  am  not.  Thank  you  for  your  support, 
Madame.  Are  you  not  the  famous  Zinida,  the  lion 
tamer,  whose  regal  beauty  and  audacity 

Zinida 
Yes.     But  I  do  not  like  flattery. 


26  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Gentleman 
It  is  not  flattery. 

Mancini 

You  are  evidently  not  accustomed  to  good  society, 
my  dear.  Flattery?  This  gentleman  expresses  his 
admiration  in  sincere  and  beautiful  words — and  you — 

you   are  not  educated,  Zinida.     As   for  myself 

[Enter  Consuelo  and  Bezano  in  circus  costume.] 

CONSUELO 

You  here,  Daddy.? 

Mancini 

Yes,  my  child,  you  are  not  tired.''  \^Kisses  her  on 
the  forehead.^  My  daughter,  sir,  Countess  Veronica. 
Known  on  the  stage  as  Consuelo,  The  Bareback  Tango 
Queen.     Did  you  ever  see  her.? 

Gentleman 
I  have  enjoyed  her  work.     It  is  marvellous! 

Mancini 

Yes!  Of  course.  Everyone  admits  it.  And  how 
do  you  like  the  name,  Consuelo?  I  took  it  from  the 
novel  of  George  Sand.     It  means  "Consolation." 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  27 

Gentleman 
What  a  wonderful  knowledge  of  books! 

Mancini 

A  small  tiling.  Despite  your  strange  intention,  I 
can  see,  sir,  that  you  are  a  gentleman.  My  peer! 
Let  me  explain  to  you,  that  only  the  strange  and 
fatal  misfortunes  of  our  ancient  family — "sic  transit 
gloria  mundi,"  sir. 

CONSUELO 

It's  a  bore,  Daddy Where's  my  handkerchief, 

Alfred.? 


Here  it  is. 


Bezano 


CoNSUELO 


{^Showing  the  handkerchief  to  the  gentleman^ : 
Genuine  Venetian.     Do  you  like  it.f^ 

Gentleman 

I  Again  hozcingi :  My  eyes  are  dazzled,  how  beau- 
tiful! Papa  Briquet,  the  more  I  look  around  me  the 
more  I  want  to  stay  with  you.  [Makes  the  face  of  a 
simpleton.^  On  the  one  hand  a  count,  on  the 
other 


28  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Jackson 

[^Nods  approval^  :  That's  not  bad.  Look  here, 
think  a  bit — find  something.  Everyone  here  thinks 
for  himself. 

[^Silence.     The  gentleman  stands  with  a  finger  on  his 
forehead,  thinking. '\ 

Gentleman 
Find  something — find  something     .     .     .     Eureka! 

Polly 
That  means  found.     Come! 

Gentleman 

Eureka I   shall  be   among  you,   he  who   gets 

slapped.     [General  laughter.     Even  Briquet  smiles.] 

Gentleman 

[Looks  at  them  smiling] :  You  see  I  made  even 
you  laugh — is  that  easy.?  [All  grow  serious.  Polly 
sighs. ^ 

Tilly 
No,  it's  not  easy.     Did  you  laugh,  Polly? 

Polly 
Sure,  a  lot.    Did  you? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  29 

Tilly 

I  did.  {^Imitating  an  instrument,  he  plays  with  his 
lips  a  melody  at  once  sad  and  gay.'\ 

Jackson 
"He  Who  Gets  Slapped,"  that's  not  bad. 

Gentleman 

It's  not,  is  it?  I  rather  like  it  myself.  It  suits  my 
talent.  And  comrades,  I  have  even  found  a  name — 
you'll  call  me  "He."     Is  that  all  right.? 

Jackson 
[Thinking]  :     "He"— Not  bad. 

CONSUELO 

[In  a  singing,  melodic  voice]  :     "He"  is  so  funny — 
He" — like  a  dog.     Daddy,  are  there  such  dogs.'* 
[Jackson  suddenly  gives  a  circus  slap  to   the  gentle- 
man.    HE  steps  back  and  grows  pale.] 

Gentleman 
What! — [General  laughter  covers  his  exclamation.] 

Jackson 
He   Who  Gets  Slapped.     Or  didn't  you  get  it.'* 


(( 


30  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Polly 

[^Comicall?/^  :     He  says  he  wants  more — 


[The  gentleman  smiles,  rubbing  his  cheek.^ 

Gentleman 

So  sudden. — Without  waiting. — How  funny — you 
didn't  hurt  me,  and  yet  my  cheek  bums. 

[Again  tliere  is  loud  laughter.  The  clowns  cackle  like 
ducks,  hens,  cocks;  they  bark.  Zinida  says  some- 
thing to  BRiauET,  casts  a  glance  toward  Bezano, 
and  goes  out.  Mancini  assumes  a  bored  air  and 
looks  at  his  watch.     The  two  actresses  go  out.^ 

Jackson 
Take  him,  Papa  Briquet — he  will  push  us. 

Mancini 

[Again  looking  at  his  watch^  :  But  bear  in  mind, 
that  Papa  Briquet  is  as  close  as  Harpagon.  If  you 
expect  to  get  good  money  here  you  are  mistaken. 
[HE  laughs.'\  A  slap.?  What's  a  slap.?  Worth  only 
small  change,  a  franc  and  a  half  a  dozen.  Better  go 
back  to  society;  you  will  make  more  money  there. 
Why  for  one  slap,  just  a  light  tap,  you  might  say, 
my  friend,  Marquis  Justi,  was  paid  fifty  thousand 
lire] 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  31 

Briquet 

Shut    up,   Mancini.      Will   you   take   care   of   him, 
Jackson. 


Jackson 


I  can. 


Polly 


Do  you  like  music?     A  Beethoven  sonata  played  on 
a  broom,  for  instance,  or  Mozart  on  a  bottle? 


He 


Alas !  No.  But  I  will  be  exceedingly  grateful  if 
you  will  teach  me.  A  clown !  My  childhood's  dream. 
When  all  my  school  friends  were  thrilled  by  Plutarch's 
heroes,  or  the  light  of  science — I  dreamed  of  clowns. 
Beethoven  on  a  broom,  Mozart  on  bottles !  Just  what 
I  have  sought  all  my  life!  Friends,  I  must  have  a 
costume ! 

Jackson 

I  see  you  don't  know  much!  A  costume  [putting 
his  finger  on  his  forehead^  is  a  thing  which  calls  for 
deep  thought.  Have  you  seen  my  Sun  here?  [Strikes 
his  posterior.^   I  looked  for  it  two  years. 


32  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

[Enthusiastically']  :     I  shall  think ! 

Mancini 

It  is  time  for  me  to  go.  Consuelo,  my  child,  you 
must  get  dressed.  [Ta  HE.]  We  are  lunching  with 
Baron  Regnard,  a  friend  of  mine,  a  banker. 

Consuelo 

But  I  don't  want  to  go,  Daddy.  Alfred  says  I 
must  rehearse  to-day. 

Mancini 

[Horrified,  holding  up  his  hands]  :  Child,  think  of 
me,  and  what  a  situation  you  put  me  in!  I  promised 
the  Baron,  the  Baron  expects  us.  Why,  it  is  impos- 
sible!    Oh,  I  am  in  a  cold  sweat. 

Consuelo 

Alfred  says 

Bezano 

[Drily]  :  She  has  to  work.  Are  you  rested?  Then 
come  on. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  33 

Mancini 

But — the  devil  take  me  if  I  know  what  to  make  of 
it.  Hey,  Bezano,  bareback  rider!  Are  you  crazy? 
I  gave  you  permission  for  Art's  sake,  to  exercise  my 
daughter's  talent — and  you 

CONSUELO 

Go  along,  Papa,  and  don't  be  so  silly.  We've  got 
to  work,  haven't  we?  Have  lunch  along  with  your 
Baron.  And  Daddy,  you  forgot  to  take  a  clean 
handkerchief  again,  and  I  washed  two  for  you  yester- 
day.    Where  did  you  put  them? 

Mancini 

[Ashamed,  blushing'\  :  Why,  my  linen  is  washed  by 
the  laundress,  and  you,  Consuelo,  are  still  playing 
with  toys.  It  is  stupid!  You're  a  chatter-box.  You 
don't  think.  These  gentlemen  might  imagine  Heaven 
knows  what.     How  stupid.     I'm  off. 

Consuelo 
Do  you  want  me  to  write  hira  a  little  note? 

Mancini 

J[Angrily'\  :    A  little  note?     Your  little  notes  would 
make  a  horse  laugh  I     Good-bye. 
[^He   goes   out    toying   angrily   with   his    cane.      The 


34  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

clowns  follow  him  respectfully,  playing  a  funeral 
march.  HE  and  Jackson  laugh.  The  actors 
disappear  one  by  one.'\ 


CONSUELO 

[Laughing^  :  Do  I  really  write  so  badly?  And  I 
love  so  to  write.  Did  you  like  my  note,  Alfred — or 
did  you  laugh,  too? 

Bezano 

[Blushing^  :     No,  I  did  not.     Come  on,  Consuelo. 
{They    go,    and    meet    Zinida,    entering.      Consuelo 
passes  on.'\ 

Zinida 
Are  you  going  back  to  work,  Bezano? 

Bezano 

{Politely^  :  Yes.  To-day  is  a  very  bad  day.  How 
are  your  lions,  Zinida?  I  think  the  weather  affects 
them. 

Consuelo 
{From  the  ring']  :     Alfred ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  86 

ZiNIDA 

Yes.  Some  one  is  calling  you.  You'd  better  go. 
[Alfred  goes  out.     To  Briquet]     Are  you  finished.'' 

Briquet 
Right  away. 

Jackson 

Then  good-bye  till  evening.  Think  about  your 
costume,  He,  and  I  shall  look  for  some  idea,  too.  Be 
here  at  ten  to-morrow.  Don't  be  late,  or  you'll  get 
another  slap.     And  I'll  work  with  you. 

He 

I  shall  not  be  late.  [He  looks  after  Jackson  who 
goes  out.]  Must  be  a  nice  man.  All  the  people  about 
you  are  so  nice,  Papa  Briquet.  I  suppose  that  good- 
looking  bareback  rider  is  in  love  with  Consuelo,  isn't 
he.''     [LaugJis.Ji 

ZiNIDA 

It's  none  of  your  business.  For  a  newcomer  you  go 
poking  your  nose  too  far.  How  much  does  he  want, 
Papa? 


36  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Briquet 

Just  a  minute.  See  here  He.  I  don't  want  to  make 
a  contract  with  you. 

He 

Just  as  you  please.  Do  you  know  what?  Don't 
let  us  talk  about  money.  You  are  an  honest  fellow, 
Briquet;  you  will  see  what  my  work  is  worth  to  you, 
and  then 

Briquet 

[Pleasedli  :  Now  that's  very  nice  of  you.  Zinida, 
the  man  really  doesn't  know  anything. 

Zinida 

Well,  do  as  he  suggests.  Now  we  must  write  it 
down.     Where's  the  book.^* 

Briquet 

Here.  [To  HE.]  I  don't  like  to  write  [gives  book 
to  Zinida),  but  we  have  to  put  down  the  names  of  the 
actors,  you  know — it's  police  regulations.  Then  if 
anyone  kills  himself,  or 

[Again  comes  the  sound  of  the  Tango,  and  calls  from 
the  ring.'[ 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  37 

ZiNIDA 

What  is  your  name? 

He 

[Smiling^  :  He.  I  chose  it,  you  know.  Or  don't 
you  Hke  it.? 

Briquet 

We  like  it  all  right — but  we  have  to  have  your  real 
name.     Have  you  a  passport? 

He 

\^Confused'\  :  A  passport?  No,  I  have  none.  Or, 
rather,  yes.  I  have  something  of  the  kind,  but  I  had 
no  idea  the  rules  were  strictly  enforced  here.  What 
do  you  need  papers  for? 

[ZiNiDA    and   Briquet    look    at    each   other.      Zinida 
pushes  the  book  aside.'] 

Zinida 

Then  we  can't  take  you.  We  cannot  quarrel  with 
the  police,  just  on  your  account. 

Briquet 

She  is  my  wife.  I  hadn't  told  you.  She's  right. 
You  might  get  hurt  by  a  horse,  or  hurt  yourself — or 


38  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

do  something.  We  don't  know  you,  you  see.  I  per- 
sonally don't  care,  but  out  there,  it's  different,  you 
see.  For  me  a  corpse  is  just  a  corpse — and  I  don't 
ask  anything  about  him.  It's  up  to  God  or  the  Devil. 
But  they — they're  too  curious.  Well,  I  suppose  it's 
necessary  for  order.     I  don't  know Got  a  card? 

He 

\_Rubs  his  head,  thinking']  :  What  shall  I  do.?  I 
have  my  card,  but  [smiles]  you  understand  that  I 
don't  want  my  name  to  be  known. 

Briquet 
Some  story,  hey.? 

He 

Yes,  something  like  that.  Why  can't  you  imagine 
that  I  have  no  name?  Can't  I  lose  it  as  I  might  lose 
my  hat?  Or  let  someone  else  take  it  by  mistake? 
When  a  stray  dog  comes  to  you,  you  don't  ask  his 
name — you  simply  give  him  another.  Let  me  be  that 
dog.  [^Laughing]    He — the  Dog! 

ZiNIDA 

Why  don't  you  tell  us  your  name,  just  the  two  of 
us.  Nobody  else  need  know  it.  Unless  you  should 
break  your  neck 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  39 

He 

[Hesitates']:  Honestly?  [^ZmiD a  shrugs  her  shoul- 
ders.] 

Briquet 

Where  people  are  honest,  their  word  is  good.  One 
sees  you  come  from  out  there. 

He 

All  right.  But  please,  don't  be  surprised.  [Gives 
ZiNiDA  his  card.  She  looks  at  it,  then  hands  it  to 
Briquet,  then  both  look  at  HE.] 

Briquet 

If  it  is  true,  sir,  that  you  are  really  what  is  written 
here 

He 

For  heaven's  sake — for  heaven's  sake — this  does  not 
exist,  but  was  lost  long  ago;  it  is  just  a  check  for  an 
old  hat.  I  pray  you  to  forget  it,  as  I  have.  I  am 
He  Who  Gets  Slapped — nothing  else.     [Silence.] 

Briquet 

I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,  but  I  must  ask  you  again, 
I  must  humbly  ask  you — are  you  not  dinink,  sir? 
There  is  something  in  your  eye — something 


40  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

No,  no.  I  am  He,  Who  Gets  Slapped.  Since  w'hen 
do  you  speak  to  me  like  this,  Papa  Briquet.?  You 
offend  me. 

ZiNIDA 

After  all,  it's  his  business.  Briquet.  \^She  hides  the 
card.^  Truly  you  are  a  strange  man.  '[Smiles.^ 
And  you  have  already  noticed  that  Bezano  is  in  love 
with  the  horse-girl.''  And  that  I  love  my  Briquet, 
did  you  notice  that,  too.'' 

He 
[^Also  smiUng']  :     Oh,  yes.     You  adore  him. 

ZiNIDA 

I  adore  him.  Now  go  with  him.  Briquet,  show  him 
the  ring  and  the  stables — I  have  something  to  write. 

He 

Yes,  yes,  please.  I  am  so  happy.  At  last  you  have 
taken  me,  haven't  you.?  It  is  true — you're  not  jok- 
ing. The  circus,  the  tan-bark,  the  ring  in  which  I 
shall  run  getting  my  slaps.  Yes,  yes,  Briquet,  let's 
go.  Until  I  feel  the  sawdust  under  my  feet,  I  shall 
not  believe  it. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  41 

Briquft 
All  right  then.     {^Kisses  Zinida.]     Come  on. 

ZiNIDA 

Just  a  minute — He  !  Answer  me  a  question.  I 
have  a  man  who  takes  care  of  the  cages,  a  plain  fellow 
whom  nobody  knows.  He  just  cleans  the  cages  you 
know;  he  walks  in  and  out  whenever  he  wants  to, 
without  even  looking  at  the  lions,  as  if  he  were  per- 
fectly at  home.  Why  is  that  so?  Nobody  knows 
him,  everybody  knows  me,  everyone  is   afraid  for  me, 

while And  he  is  such  a  silly  man — you  will  see 

him.  \_Laughs.'\  But  don't  you  think  of  entering  the 
cage  yourself!  My  red  one  would  give  you  such  a 
slap ! 

Briquet 

{^Displeased'] :  There  you  are  again,  Zinida — 
stop  it. 

Zinida 

l^LauglisI :  All  right — go.  Oh  yes,  Louis,  send  me 
Bezano.     I  have  to  settle  an  account  with  him. 

\^HE  and  the  director  go  out.  Zinida  looks  at  the 
card  once  more,  then  hides  it.  She  gets  up  and 
walks  quickly  up  and  down  the  room.     She  stops 


42  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

to  listen  to  the  Tango,  which  ends  abruptly. 
Then  she  stands  motionless,  looking  straight  at 
the  dark  opening  of  the  door  through  which 
Bezano  comes.'l 

Bezano 

\_Entering'\ :      You    called   me,    Zinida?      What   do 

you  want?     Tell  me  quickly,  I  have  no  time 

[Zinida  looks  at  him  silently.  Bezano  -flushes  with 
anger,  and  knits  his  eyebrows.  He  turns  to  the 
door  to  go.l^ 

Zinida 
Bezano  I 

Bezano 

[^Stops,  without  looking  up~\  :     What  do  you  want? 
I  have  no  time. 

Zinida 

Bezano !     I  keep  hearing  people  say  that  you  are  in 
love  with  Consuelo.     Is  it  true? 

Bezano 

[Shrugging  his  shoulders~\  :  We  work  well  together. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  43 

ZiNIDA 

[Takes  a  step  forzcard]  :  No Tell  me,  Al- 
fred, do  you  love  her? 

Bezaxo 

l^FliLshes  liJie  a  hoy,  but  looks  straight  into  Zinida's 
eyes,  Proudlyl  :  I  do  not  love  anybody.  No,  I  love 
nobody.  How  can  I?  Consuelo?  She  is  here  to-day, 
gone  to-morrow,  if  her  father  should  take  her  away. 
And  I?  Who  am  I?  An  acrobat,  the  son  of  a  Milan- 
ese shoemaker She !     I  cannot  even  talk  about  it. 

Like  my  horses  I  have  no  words.    Who  am  I  to  love.'' 

ZiNIDA 

Do  you  love  me?     A  little? 

Bezaxo 
No.     I  told  you  before. 

Zixida 
Still  no?     Not  even  a  little? 

Bezaxo 
[After  a  ^ilence^  :     I  am  afraid  of  you. 


44  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ZiNIDA 

{^Wants  to  cry  out,  indignantly,  hut  masters  herself 
and  lowers  her  eyes,  as  if  in  an  effort  to  shut  out  their 
light;  turns  paW]  :  Am  I  ...  so  terrifying  a 
woman 

Bezano 

You  are  beautiful,  like  a  queen.  You  are  almost 
as  beautiful  as  Consuelo.  But  I  don't  like  your  eyes. 
Your  eyes  command  me  to  love  you — and  I  don't  like 
to  be  commanded.     I  am  afraid  of  you. 

ZiNIDA 

Do  I  command,  Bezano?     No — only  implore. 

Bezano 

Then  why  not  look  at  me  straight?  Now  I  have 
it.  You  know  yourself  that  your  eyes  cannot  implore. 
[Laughs.l     Your  lions  have  spoiled  you. 

ZiNIDA 

My  red  lion  loves  me 

Bezano 
Never!     If  he  loves  you,  why  is  he  so  sad? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  45 

ZiNIDA 

Yesterday  he  was  licking  my  hands  hke  a  dog. 

Bezano 

And  this  morning  he  was  looking  for  you  to  devour 
you.  He  thrusts  out  his  muzzle  and  looks  out,  as  if 
he  sees  only  you.  He  is  afraid  of  you,  and  he  hates 
you.  Or  do  you  want  me  to  lick  your  hands  too,  like 
a  dog? 

ZiNIDA  \ 

No,  Alfred,  but  I — I  want  to  kiss  your  hand.  [With 
yassiotil :  Give  it  to  me ! 

Bezano 

[Severely']  :  I  am  ashamed  to  listen  to  you  when 
you  speak  like  that. 

ZiNIDA 

[Controlling  herself]  :  One  should  not  torture  an- 
other as  you  torture  me.     Alfred,  I  love  you.     No,  I 

do  not  command.    Look  into  my  eyes /  love  you. 

[Silence.] 

Bezano 
[Turns  to  go]  :    Good-bye. 


46  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ZiNIDA 

Alfred— 

l^HE  appears  vrt  the  doorway,  and  stops.'\ 

Bezano 

Please  never  tell  me  any  more  that  you  love  me.  I 
don't  want  it.  Otherwise  I  will  quit.  You  pronounce 
the  word  love  as  if  you  were  cracking  me  with  your 
whip.     You  know  it  is   disgusting 

[He  turns  brusquely  and  goes.  Both  notice  HE; 
Bezano,  frowning,  passes  out  quickly.  Zinida 
returns  to  her  place  at  the  desk,  with  a  proudly 
indifferent  expression.^ 

He 

[Coming  «w] :     I  beg  your  pardon,  but  I 

Zinida 

There  you  are  again,  poking  your  nose  into  every- 
thing, He.     Do  you  really  want  a  slap.'' 

He 

[Laughingl :  No.  I  simply  forgot  my  overcoat. 
I  didn't  hear  anything. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  47 

ZiNIDA 

I  don't  care  whether  you  did  or  not. 

He 

May  I  take  my  coat? 

ZiNIDA 

Take  it  if  it's  yours.     Sit  down,  He. 

He 

I  am  sitting  down. 

ZiNIDA 

Now  tell  me  He,  could  you  love  me? 

He 

[Laughing']  :    I?    I  and  Love!    Look  at  me,  Zinida. 
Did  you  ever  see  a  lover  with  such  a  face? 

Zinida 
One  can  succeed  with  such  a  face 


He 

That's  because  I  am  happy — because  I  lost  my  hat 
-because  I  am  drunk — or  perhaps  I  am  not  drunk. 


48  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

But  I  feel  as  dizzy  as  a  young  girl  at  her  first  ball. 
It  is  so  nice  here — slap  me,  I  want  to  play  my  part. 
Perhaps  it  will  awaken  love  in  my  heart,  too.  Love — 
[as  if  listening  to  his  own  heart  with  pretended  ter- 
ror^ do  you  know — I  feel  it! 
\In  the  circus  the  Tango  is  played  again.^ 

ZiNIDA 

{^Listening  too^  :    For  me? 

He 

No.  I  don't  know.  For  everyone.  [Listens  to  the 
music.'\  Yes,  they  are  dancing — how  beautiful  Con- 
suelo  is — and  how  beautiful  is  the  youth.  He  has  the 
body  of  a  Greek  God ;  he  looks  as  if  he  had  been 
modeled  by  Praxiteles.  Love!  Love!  [^Silence, 
music. ^ 

ZiNIDA 

Tell  me,  He 

He 
At  your  service,  Queen! 

ZiNIDA 

He,  what  shall  I  do,  to  make  my  lions  love  me.'* 

Curtain 


ACT    II 

The  same  room,  during  the  evening  performance. 
Occasional  music,  laughter,  shrieks,  and  applause  are 
audible.  Through  the  small  windows,  back  centre, 
the  light  is  shining. 

Consuelo  and  Baron  Regnard  occupy  the  stage; 
Consuelo  wears  her  stage  costume;  she  sits  with  her 
feet  on  the  sofa,  a  smalt  shawl  covering  her  shoulders. 
Before  her  stands  the  Baron,  a  tall  stout  man  in  eve- 
ning dress,  a  rose  in  his  buttonhole;  grasping  the 
ground  with  feet  well  apart,  he  gazes  at  her  with 
convex  spider-like  eyes. 

Baron 

Is  it  true  that  your  father,  the  Count,  has  intro- 
duced jou  to  a  certain  Marquis  Justi,  a  very  rich 
man? 

Consuelo 

[Surprised'\  :  No,  he  is  only  joking.  I  have  often 
heard  him  speak  of  a  Marquis  Justi  but  I  have  never 
seen  him 

Baron 

And  do  you  know  that  your  father  is  just  a 
charlatan  ? 

49 


60  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

Oh!     Don't  say  that — Father  is  such  a  dear. 

Baron 
Did  you  Hke  the  jewels? 

CoNSUELO 

Yes,  very  much.  I  was  very  sorry  when  Father 
told  me  I  must  return  them.  He  said  it  would  not 
be  nice  for  me  to  keep  them.  I  even  cried  a  little 
about  it. 

Baron 
Your  father  is  only  a  beggar  and  a  charlatan. 

CoNSUELO 

Oh,  no,   don't  scold  him — he  loves   you   so   much. 

Baron 
Let  me  kiss  your  hand 

CoNSUELO 

Oh,  no,  it  isn't  proper!  One  may  kiss  the  hand 
only  when  one  says  how  do  you  do  or  good-bye.  But 
in   the  meantime  you  can't. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  61 

Baron 

Everybody  is  in  love  with  you,  that  is  why  you  and 
your  father  make  such  a  fuss  about  yourselves.  Who 
is  that  new  clown  they  call  He?  I  don't  like  him,  he's 
too  shrewd  a  beast.  .  .  .  Is  he  in  love  with  you, 
too.''     I  noticed  the  way  he  looked  at  you. 

CONSUELO 

J^LaugJiingl  :  Nothing  of  the  kind.  He  is  so 
funny !  He  got  fifty-two  slaps  yesterday.  We  counted 
them.  Think  of  it,  fifty-two  slaps !  Father  said,  "if 
they  had  only  been  gold  pieces." 

Baron 
And  Bezano,  Consuelo.      .      .     .     Do  you  like  him? 

CoNSUELO 

Yes,  very  much.  He  is  so  good-looking.  He  says 
that  Bezano  and  I  are  the  most  beautiful  couple  in 
the  world.  He  calls  him  Adam,  and  me  Eve.  But 
that's  improper,  isn't  it?     He  is  so  improper. 

Baron 
And  does  He  speak  to  you  very  often? 


62  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

Yes,  often.  .  .  .  But  I  don't  understand  Wm. 
It  seems  as  if  he  were  drunk. 

Baron 

"Consuelo" !  ...  It  means  in  Spanish  .  .  . 
Consolation.  Your  father  is  an  ass.  .  .  .  Con- 
suelo, I  love  you. 

Consuelo 
Talk  it  over  with  Father. 

Baron 

[Angry}  :  Your  father  is  a  swindler  and  a  char- 
latan. He  should  be  turned  over  to  the  pohce.  Don't 
you  understand  that  I  cannot  marry  you.? 

Consuelo 
But  Father  says  you  can. 

Baron 

No,  I  cannot.  And  what  if  I  shoot  myself.?  Con- 
suelo, silly  girl,  I  love  you  unbearably  .  .  .  un- 
bearably, do  you  understand.?  I  am  probably  mad 
.     .     .     and  must  be  taken  to  a  doctor,  yanked  about, 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  63 

beaten   with   sticks.      Why    do   I   love   you   so   much, 

Consuelo  ? 

CONSUELO 

Then,  you'd  better  marry. 

Baron 

I  have  had  a  hundred  women,  beauties,  but  I  didn't 
see  them.  You  are  the  first  and  I  don't  see  any  one 
else.  Who  strikes  man  with  love,  God  or  the  Devil.'' 
The  Devil  struck  me.     Let  me  kiss  your  hand. 

Consuelo 
No.     \^She  thinks  a  while  and  sighs. ^ 

Baron 

Do  you  think  sometimes.?  What  are  you  thinking 
about  now    Consuelo.'' 

Consuelo 

[With  another  sigh^.  I  don't  know  why,  I  just 
felt  sorry  for  Bezano.  \_Sighs  again.}  He  is  so  nice 
to  me  when  he  teaches  me  .  .  .  and  he  has  such 
a  tiny  little  room.. 

Baron 

[Indignanfl :     You  were  there.? 


54  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

No.  He  told  me  about  it.  [Smiling']  Do  you 
hear  the  noise  in  there?  That's  He  getting  slapped. 
Poor  thing  .  .  .  although  I  know  it  doesn't 
hurt,  it's  only  make-believe.  The  intermission  is  com- 
ing soon. 
[The  Baron  throws  away  his  cigar,  takes  two  quick 

steps  forward,  and  falls  on  his  knees  before  the 

girl.] 

Baron 
Consuelo 

CoNSUELO 

Please,  don't.    Get  up.    Please  leave  my  hand  alone. 


Consuelo ! 


Baron 


Consuelo 


[Disgusted']  :       Get     up     please,     it's     disgusting — 

you're  so  fat. 

[The  Baron  gets  up.  Voices  are  heard  near  the 
door  and  in  tJie  ring.  It  is  the  intermission.  The 
clowns  come  first,  talking  cheerfully  and  excit- 
edly.    HE  leads  them,  in  his  clown's  dress,  with 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  55 

painted  eyebrows  and  white  nose;  the  others  are 
applauding  Mm.  Voices  of  the  actors  calling: 
"Bravo!  HE."  Then  come  the  actors  and  ac- 
tresses, riding-masters,  and  the  rest,  all  in  cos- 
tume. ZiNiDA  is  not  among  them.  Papa  Bei- 
QUET  comes  a  little  later.'] 

Polly 
A  hundred  slaps !     Bravo,  He  ! 

Jackson 
Not  bad,  not  bad  at  all.     You'll  make  a  career. 

Tilly 

He  was  the  Professor  to-day,  and  we  were  the  stu- 
dents. Here  goes  another!  \^Gives  him  a  clown's 
slap.  Laughter.  All  hid  good  evening  to  the  Baron. 
He  is  politely  rude  to  these  vagabonds  who  bore  him, 
and  remains  silent.  They  seem  quite  used  to  it.  Enter 
Mancini.     He  is  the  same,  and  mth  the  same  cane.] 

Mancini 

[Shaking  hands]  :  What  a  success,  Baron — and 
think  of  it — how  the  crowd  does  love  slaps.  [Whis- 
pering] Your  knees  are  dusty,  Baron,  brush  them 
off.     The  floor  is  very  dirty  in  here.     [Aloud]     Con- 


56  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

suelo,  dear  child,  how  do  you  feel?  [Goes  over  to  his 
daughter.  Sound  of  laughing,  chattering.  The 
zcaiters  from  the  buffet  in  the  lobby  bring  in  soda  and 
"wine.     Consuelo's  voice  is  heard.~\ 

CONSUELO 

And  where  is  Bezano? 

He 

[Bows  before  the  Baron,  affecting  intimacy^  :    You 
do  not  recognize  me.  Baron? 

Baron 

Yes  I  do.     You  are  the  clown,  He. 

He 

Yes  I  am  He  Who  Gets  Slapped.     May  I  presume 
to  ask  you,  Baron,  did  you  get  your  jewels  back? 

Baron 

What! 

He 

I  was  asked  to  return  some  jewels  to  you,   and  I 

take  the  liberty  of [The  Baron  turns  his  back 

on  him — HE  laughs  loudly.] 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  57 

Jackson 

Whiskey  and  soda!  Believe  me,  ladies  and  gents, 
He  will  surely  make  a  career.  I  am  an  old  clown,  and 
I  know  the  crowd.  Why  to-day,  he  even  eclipsed  me 
— and  clouds  have  covered  my  Sun.  [^Striking  it.^ 
They  do  not  like  puzzles,  they  want  slaps!  They  are 
longing  for  them  and  dreaming  about  them  in  their 
homes.  Your  health.  He!  Another  whiskey  and 
soda!  He  got  so  many  slaps  to-day,  there  would  be 
enough  to  go  round  the  whole  orchestra! 

Tilly 
I  bet  there  wouldn't!     [To  Jackson'\     Shake! 

Polly 

I  bet  there  wouldn't — I'll  go  and  count  the  old 
mugs. 


A  Voice 
The  orchestra  did  not  laugh- 


Jackson 

Because  they  were  getting  it,  but  the  galleries  did, 
because  they  were  looking  at  the  orchestra  getting 
slapped.     Your  health,  He! 


58  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Your's  Jim!  Tell  me,  why  didn't  you  let  me  finish 
my  speech — I  was  just  getting  a  good  start. 

Jackson 

\^Seriously'\  :  My  friend,  because  your  speech  was 
a  sacrilege.  Politics — all  right.  Manners — as  much 
as  you  want.  But  Proridence — leave  it  in  peace. 
And  believe  me,  friend,  I  shut  your  mouth  in  time. 
Didn't  I,  Papa  Briquet? 

Briquet 

[Coming  nearer^  :  Yes.  It  was  too  much  like 
literature.  This  is  not  an  academy.  You  forget 
yourself.  He. 

Tilly 
But  to  shut  one's  mouth — faugh. 

Briquet 

[/w  a  didactic  tone  :  Whenever  one  shuts  one's 
mouth,  it  is  always  high  time  to  shut  it,  unless  one  is 
drinking.     Hey,  wliiskey  and  soda! 

Voices 
Whiskey  and  soda  for  the  iManager! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  59 

Mancini 

But  this  is  obscurantistn.  Philosophizing  again, 
Briquet? 

Briquet 

I  am  not  satisfied  with  you  to-day,  He.  Why  do 
you  tease  them?  They  don't  hke  it.  Your  health! 
A  good  slap  must  be  clean  like  a  crystal — ff t-fFt ! 
right  side,  left  side,  and  done  with  it.  They  will  like 
it;  they  will  laugh,  and  love  you.  But  in  your  slaps 
there  is  a  certain  bite,  you  understand,  a  certain 
smell 

He 

But  they  laughed,  nevertheless ! 

Briquet 

But  without  pleasure,  without  pleasure,  He.  You 
pay,  and  immediately  draw  a  draft  on  their  bank; 
it's  not  the  right  game — they  won'^t  like  you. 

Jackson 

That's  what  /  tell  him.  He  had  already  begun  to 
make  them  angry, 

Bezano 

[Enteringl :  Consuelo,  where  are  you  ?  I  have 
been  looking  for  you — come  on.     [Both  go  out.     The 


60  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Baron,  after  hesitating  a  while,  follows  them.     Man- 
ciNi  accompanies  him  respectfully  to  the  door.'\ 

He 

[Sighs']  :  You  don't  understand,  my  dear  friends ; 
you  are  simply  old,  and  have  forgotten  the  smell  of 
the  stage. 

Jackson 
Aha!    Who  is  old,  my  young  man? 

He 

Don't  be  angry,  Jim.  It's  a  play,  don't  you  under- 
stand.? I  become  happy  when  I  enter  the  ring  and 
hear  the  music.  I  wear  a  mask  and  I  feel  humorous. 
There  is  a  mask  on  my  face,  and  I  play.  I  may  say 
anything  like  a  drunkard.  Do  you  understand.?  Yes- 
terday when  I,  with  this  stupid  face,  was  playing  the 
great  man,  the  philosopher  [he  assumes  a  proud  mon- 
umental pose,  and  repeats  the  gesture  of  the  play — 
general  laughter]  I  was  walking  this  way,  and  was 
telling  how  great,  how  wise,  how  incomparable  I  was 
— how  God  lived  in  me,  how  high  I  stood  above  the 
earth — how  glory  shone  above  my  head  [his  voice 
changes  and  he  is  speaTcing  faster]  then  you,  Jim, 
you  hit  me  for  the  first  time.  And  I  asked  you, 
"What  is  it,  they're  applauding  me.?"     Then,  at  thft 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  61 

tenth  slap,  I  said:  "It  seems  to  me  that  they  sent 
for  me  from  the  Academy?"  ^Acfs,  looking  around 
him  mith  an  air  of  unconquerable  pride  and  splendour. 
Laughter.     Jackson  gives  him  a  real  slap.^ 

He 

\ Holding  his  face'\:     Why? 

Jackson 

Because  you're  a  fool,  and  play  for  nothing. 
Waiter,  the  check.  {Laughter.  The  hell  calls  them 
to  the  ring.  The  actors  go  out  in  haste,  some  run- 
ning.    The  waiters  collect  their  money.) 

Briquet 

[/w  a  sing-song^  :    To  the  ring — to  the  ring — 

Mancini 

I  want  to  tell  jj^ou  sometliing,  He.  You  are  not 
going   yet  ? 

He 

No.     I'll  take  a  rest. 

Briquet 

To  the  ring — to  the   ring — 

\The  clowns  as  they  go  sing  in  shrill,  squeaky  voices. 
Little    by    little    they    all    disappear,    and    loud 


62  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

music  begins.     HE  seats  himself  on  the  sofa  with 
his  legs  crossed,   and  yamms.^ 

Mancini 

He,  you  have  something  none  of  my  ancestors  ever 
had — money.  Let's  have  a  nice  bottle  on  you.  Waiter, 
please — [^Fhe  waiter  who  was  taking  up  dishes,  brings 
a  bottle  of  wine  and  glasses  and  goes  out.'] 

He 

You're  blue,  Mancini.  {^Stretches.']  Well,  at  my 
age,  a  hundred  slaps — it  seems  pretty  hard.  So 
you're  blue.  How  are  things  getting  on  with  your 
girl.? 

Mancini 

Tss!  Bad!  Complications — parents — \^shudders~\ 
Agh— 


Prison! 


He 


Mancini 


[Laughing"]  :  Prison !  Mustn't  I  uphold  the  glory 
of  my  name  now,  eh.?  He,  I'm  joking — but  there  is 
Hell  in  my  heart.     You're  the  only  one  who  under- 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  63 

stands  me.  But  tell  me  how  to  explain  this  passion? 
It  will  turn  my  hajr  grey,  it'll  bring  me  to  prison, 
to  the  grave.  I  am  a  tragic  man.  He — [Wipes  his 
eyes  with  a  dirty  handkerchief.']  Why  don't  I  like 
things  which  are  not  forbidden?  Wh}^  at  all  mo- 
ments, even  at  the  very  moment  of  ecstasy,  must  I  be 
reminded  of  some  law — it  is  stupid.  He,  I  am  be- 
coming an  anarchist.  Good  God! — Count  Mancini,  an 
anarchist.     That's  the  only  thing  I've  missed. 

He 

Isn't  there  a  way   of  settling  it  somehow? 

Mancini 
Is  there  a  way   of  getting  money,   somehow? 

He 

And   the   Baron  ? 

Mancini 

Oh,  yes!  He's  just  waiting  for  it,  the  blood- 
sucker! He'll  get  what  he's  after.  Some  day,  you'll 
see  me  give  him  Consuelo  for  ten  thousand  francs, 
perhaps  for  five! 

He 

Cheap. 


64  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 

Did  I  say  it  was  anything  else?  Do  I  want  to  do 
it?  But  these  bourgeois  are  strangling  me,  they've 
got  me  by  the  throat.  He,  one  can  easily  see  that 
you're  a  gentleman,  and  of  good  society,  you  under- 
stand me — I  showed  you  the  jewels  which  I  sent  back 
to  him — damn  honesty — I  didn't  even  dare  change 
the  stones,  put   false  ones — 

He 

Why? 

Mancini 

It  would  have  queered  the  game.  Do  you  think  he 
didn't  weigh  the  diamonds  when  he  got  them  back? 

He 

He  will  not  marry  her. 

Mancini 

Yes  he  will.  You  don't  understand.  {^Laughs.^ 
The  first  half  of  his  life,  this  man  had  only  appe- 
tites— now  love's  got  him.  If  he  does  not  get  Con- 
suelo,  he  is  lost,  he  is — like  a  withered  narcissus. 
Plague  take  him  with  his  automobiles.  Did  you  see 
his   car  ? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  65 

He 
I  did.    .    .     .    Give  Consuelo  to   the  Jockey — 

Mancini 

To  Bezano?  \^Laughs.^  What  nonsense  you  do 
talk!  Oh,  I  know.  It's  your  joke  about  Adam  and 
Eve.  But  please  stop  it.  It's  clever,  but  it  compro- 
mises the  child.     She  told  me  about  it. 

He 

Or  give  her  to  me. 

Mancini 

Have  you  a  billion  .f*  [^Laughs.^  Ah,  He,  I'm  not 
in  the  proper  mood  to  listen  to  your  clownish  jokes — 
They  say  there  are  terrible  jails  in  this  country,  and 
no  discriminations  are  being  made  between  people  of 
my  kind,  and  plain  scoundrels.  Why  do  you  look 
at  me  like  that.''     You're  making  fun  of  me.'* 

He 

No. 

Mancini 

I'll  never  get  accustomed  to  those  faces.  You're 
so   disgustingly   made   up. 


66  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

He  will  not  marry  her.  You  can  be  as  proud  as 
you  please,  Mancini,  but  he'll  not  marry  her.  What 
is  Consuelo?  She  is  not  educated.  When  she  is  off 
her  horse,  any  good  housemaid  from  a  decent  house 
has  nicer  manners,  and  speaks  better.  \^Nonchalant- 
Ze/]     Don't  i/oii  think  she's  stupid  .'* 

Mancini 

No,  she's  not  stupid.  And  you.  He,  are  a  fool. 
What  need  has  a  woman  of  intelligence?  Why,  He, 
you  astonish  me.  Consuelo  is  an  unpolished  jewel, 
and  only  a  real  donkey  does  not  notice  her  sparkle. 
Do  you  know  what  happened?  I  tried  to  begin  to 
polish  her — 

He 

Yes,  you  took  a  teacher.     And  what  happened? 

Mancini 

[Nodding  his  head]  :  I  was  frightened — it  went 
too  fast — I  had  to  dismiss  him.  Another  month  or 
two,  and  she  would  have  kicked  me  out.  [^Laughs.l 
The  clever  old  diamond  merchants  of  Amsterdam  keep 
their  precious  stones  unpolished,  and  fool  the  thieves. 
My  father  taught  me  that. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

The  sleep  of  a  diamond.  It  is  only  sleeping,  then. 
You  are  wise,  Mancini. 

Mancini 

Do  you  know  what  blood  flows  in  the  veins  of  an 
Italian  woman?  The  blood  of  Hannibal  and  Cor- 
sini — of  a  Borgia — and  of  a  dirty  Lorabardi  peas- 
ant— and  of  a  Moor.  Oh !  an  Italian  woman  is  not 
of  a  lower  race,  with  only  peasants  and  gypsies  be- 
hind her.  All  possibilities,  all  forms  are  included  in 
her,  as  in  our  marvelous  sculpture.  Do  you  under- 
stand that,  you  fool?  Strike  here — out  springs  a 
washerwoman,  or  a  cheap  street  girl  whom  you  want 
to  throw  out,  because  she  is  sloppy  and  has  a  screechy 
voice.  Strike  there — but  carefully  and  gently,  for 
there  stands  a  queen,  a  goddess,  the  Venus  of  the 
Capitol,  who  sings  like  a  Stradivarius  and  makes  you 
cry,  idiot !     An  Italian  woman — 

He 

You're  quite  a  poet,  Mancini !  But  what  will  the 
Baron  make  of  her? 

Mancini 

What?  What?  Make  of  7ier9  A  baroness,  you 
fool!     What  are  you  laughing  at?     I  don't  get  you? 


68  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

But  I  am  happy  that  this  lovesick  beast  is  neither  a 
duke  nor  a  prince — or  she  would  be  a  princess  and 
I — what  would  become  of  me?  A  year  after  the  wed- 
ding they  would  not  let  me  even  into  the  kitchen 
[laughing^  not  even  into  the  kitchen !  I,  Count 
Mancini,  and  she  a — a  simple — 

He 

^Jumping  up'\  :    What  did  you  say?     You  are  not 
her  father,  Mancini? 

Mancini 

Tss — the  devil — I  am  so  nervous  to-day !  Heavens, 
who  do  you  think  I  am?  "Her  father?"  Of  course 
[^tries  to  laugh^  how  silly  you  are — haven't  you  no- 
ticed the  family  resemblance?  Just  look,  the  nose, 
the  eyes —  [Suddenly  sighs  deeply.']  Ah,  He!  How 
unhappy  I  am !  Think  of  it.  Here  I  am,  a  gentle- 
man, nearly  beaten  in  my  struggle  to  keep  up  the 
honour  of  my  name,  of  an  old  house,  while  there  in 
the  parquet — there  sits  that  beast,  an  elephant  with 
the  eyes  of  a  spider  .  .  .  and  he  looks  at  Consuelo 
.    .    .   and  .    .    . 

He 

Yes,  yes,  he  has  the  motionless  stare  of  a  spider — 
you're  right! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  69 

Mancini 

Just  what  I  say — a  spider!  But  I  must,  I  shall 
compel  him  to  marry  her.  You'll  see —  \^WalJdng 
excitedly  up  and  down,  playing  with  his  cane.'\ 
You'll  see!  All  my  life  I've  been  getting  ready  for 
this  battle.  [He  continues  to  walk  up  and  down. 
Silence.     Outside^  great  stillness.^ 

He 

[Listening}  :  Why  is  it  so  quiet  out  there?  What 
a  strange  silence. 

Mancini 

[Disgusted] :  I  don't  know.  Out  there  it  is 
quiet — but  here  [touching  his  forehead  with  his  cane] 
here  is  storm,  whirlwind.  [Bends  over  the  clozem.] 
He,  shall  I  tell  you  a  strange  thing — an  unusual 
trick  of  nature?  [Laughs,  and  looks  very  important.] 
For  three  centuries  the  Counts  Mancini  have  had  no 
children!     [Laughs.] 

He 

Then  how  were  you  bom? 

Mancini 

Sh!  Silence!  That  is  the  secret  of  our  sainted 
mothers!     Ha-ha!     We  are  too  ancient  a  stock — too 


■70  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

exquisitely  refined  to  trouble  ourselves  with  such 
things — matters  in  which  a  peasant  is  more  competent 
than  ourselves.  [Enter  an  usher.']  What  do  you 
want?     The  manager  is  on  the  stage. 

The  Ushee 

Yes,  sir.  Baron  Regnard  wished  me  to  give  you 
this  letter. 

Mancini 

The  Baron.''     Is  he  there.? 

The  Usher 

Baron  Regnard  has  left.     There  is  no  answer. 

Mancini 

[Opening  the  envelope,  his  hand  shaking] :  The 
devil — the  devil!     [The  usJier  is  going.] 

He 

Just  a  minute.  Why  is  there  no  music?  This 
silence  .    .    . 

The  Ushee 

It  is  the  act  with  Madame  Zinida  and  her  lions. 
[He  goes.  Mancini  is  reading  the  Baron's  note  for 
the  second  time.] 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  71 

He 

What's  the  matter,  Mancini?     You  shine  like  Jack- 


son's  sun. 


Mancini 

What's  the  matter,  did  you  ask?  What's  the  mat- 
ter? What's  the  matter?  \^Balancing  his  cane,  he 
takes  steps  like  a  ballet-dancer. '\ 

He 

Mancini!  [Mancini  rolls  his  eyes,  makes  faces 
dances.^     Speak,  you  beast! 

Mancini 

[Holds  out  his  hand]  :  Give  me  ten  francs !  Quick 
— ten  francs — here,  come  on.  \^Puts  it  automatically 
into  his  vest  pocket.  Listen,  He  !  If  in  a  month 
I  don't  have  a  car  of  my  own,  you  may  give  me  one 
of  your  slaps ! 

He 
What!     He's  going  to  marry?     He's  decided? 

Mancini 

What  do  you  mean  by  "decided?"  \_Laughs.'\ 
When  a  man  has  the  rope  about  his  neck,  you  don't 


72  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ask  him  about  his  health !  Baron — \^Stops  suddenly, 
startled.  Briquet  is  staggering  in  like  a  drunken 
man,  his  hand  over  his  eyes.'\ 

He 

l^Goes  to  him,  touches  his  shoulder  gently']  ;  What 
is    the   matter,   Papa   Briquet?      Tell   me! 

Briquet 

[^Groaning]  :     Oh,  oh,  I  can't   ...   I  can't   .    .    . 

Ah— 

He 

Something  has  happened.?  You  are  ill?  Please 
speak. 

Briquet 

I  can't  look  at  it !  [Takes  his  hands  from  his  eyes, 
opens  them  wide.]  Why  does  she  do  it?  Ah,  ah, 
why  does  she  do  it?  She  must  be  taken  away;  she  is 
insane.  I  couldn't  look  at  it.  [Shivers.']  They  will 
tear  her  to  pieces.  He — her  lions — they  will  tear 
her — 

Mancini 

Go  on,  Briquet.  She  is  always  like  that.  You 
act  hke  a  child.     You  ought  to  be  ashamed. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  73 

Briquet 

No — ■  To-day  she  is  mad!  And  what  Is  the  matter 
with  the  crowd?  They  are  all  hke  dead  people — 
they're  not  even  breathing.  I  couldn't  stand  It. 
Listen — what's  that?  [All  listen.  There  is  the  same 
silence. "l 

Mancini 
^Disturbed}  :     I'll  go  and  see. 

Briquet 

[Yelling']:  No!  Don't!  You  can't  look — damned 
profession !  Don't  go.  You  will  scorch  her — every 
pair  of  eyes  that  looks  at  her — at  her  lions — no,  no. 
It  Is  Impossible — It  is  a  sacrilege.  I  ran  away.  .  .  . 
He,  they  will  tear  her 

He 

[Tries  to  be  cheerful]  :  Keep  cool,  Papa  Briquet — 
I  had  no  Idea  you  were  such  a  coward.  You  ought 
to  be  ashamed.  Have  a  drink.  Mancini,  give  him 
some  wine. 

Briquet 

I  don't  want  any.  Heavens,  If  It  were  only 
over —   [All  listen.]      I  have  seen  many  things  In  my 


74  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

life,  but  this  .  .  .  Oh,  she  is  crazy.  \^All  still  listen. 
Suddenly  the  silence  breaks,  like  a  huge  stone  wall 
crashing.  There  is  a  thunder  of  appause,  mixed  with 
shouts,  music,  wild  screams — half  bestial,  half  human. 
The  men  give  way,  relieved.     Briquet  sinks  to  a  seat.'\ 

Mancini 

l^Nervous^  :     You   see — you   see — you   old  fool ! 

Briquet 


l^Sobs  and  laughs'\  :     I  am  not  going  to  allow  it 

He 


any  more! 


Here  she  is ! 
[Zi/nida  walks  in,  alone.  She  looks  like  a  drunken 
bacchante,  or  like  a  mad  woman.  Her  hair  falls 
over  her  shoulders  dishevelled,  one  shoulder  is  un- 
covered. She  walks  unseeing,  though  her  eyes 
glow.  She  is  like  the  living  statue  of  a  mad 
Victory.  Behind  her  comes  an  actor,  very  pale, 
then  two  dozens,  and  a  little  later  Consuelo  and 
Bezano.  All  look  at  Zinida  fearfully,  as  if  they 
were  afraid  of  a  touch  of  her  hand,  or  her  great 
eyes.'\ 

Briquet 

[Shouting^  :    You  are  crazy — ^you're  a  mad  woman ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  76 

ZiNIDA 

I?     No.     Did  you  see?     Did  you  see?     Well?     [She 
stands  smiling,  mth  the  expression  of  a  mad  Victory S\ 

Tilly 

[Plaintively^ :      Cut    it    out,    Zinida.      Go    to    the 
devil ! 

Zinida 
You  saw,  too!    And!   .    .    .   what — 

Briquet 

Come  home — come  home.  [To  the  others^  You  can 
do  what  you  like  here.     Zinida,  come  home. 

Polly 
You  can't   go,   Papa.      There's   still   your  number. 

Zinida 

[Her  eyes  meet  those  of  Bezano^:  Ah!  Bezano. 
[Laughs  long  and  happily.']  Bezano!  Alfred!  Did 
you  see?  My  lions  do  love  me!  [Bezano,  without 
answering,  leaves  the  stage.  Zinida  seems  to  wither 
and  grow  dim,  as  a  light  being  extinguished.  Her 
smile  fades,  her  eyes  and  face  grow  pale.  Briquet 
anxiously  bends  over  her.'\ 


76  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Briquet 

[In  a  slow  voice]:  A  chair!  \_Zinida  sits.  Her 
head  drops  on  her  shoulder,  her  arms  fall,  she  begins 
to  shiver  and  tremble.  Some  one  calls,  ''Cognac" — 
an  actor  runs  to  get  it.] 

Briquet 
[Helpless]:     What  is  the  matter,  Zinida  darling? 

Mancini 

[Running  about]  :  She  must  quiet  down.  Get  out, 
get  out — vagabonds  !  I'll  fix  everything,  Papa  Briquet. 
The  wrap — where's  the  wrap?  She's  cold.  [A  clown 
hands  it  to  him;  they  cover  her.] 

Tilly 
[Timidly]  :    Wouldn't  you  like  some  moosic? 

Mancini 

[Giving  her  some  cognac]  :  Drink,  Duchess,  drink ! 
Drink  it  all — that's  it.  [Zinida  drinks  it  like  water, 
evidently  not  noticing  the  taste.  She  shivers.  The 
clowns  disappear  one  by  one.  Consuelo,  with  a  sud- 
den -flexible  movement,  jails  on  her  knees  before  Zinida 
and  kisses  her  hands,  warming  them  between  her  own.] 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  77 

CONSUELO 

Dear,  dear,  you  are  cold!  Poor  little  hands,  dear 
good  one,  beloved  one 

ZiNIDA 

[Pushes  her  away,  gently^  :  Ho — home.  It  will 
soon  be  over.  It's  nothing  ...  I  am  ver — very 
.  .  .  home.  .  .  .  You  stay  here.  Briquet — 
you  must.     I'm  all  right. 

CoNSUELO 

You  are  cold.?     Here  is  my  shawl. 

ZiNIDA 

No — let  me.  .  .  .  [Consuelo  gets  up,  and  moves 
aside. ^ 

Briquet 

And  it's  all  because  of  your  books,  Zinida — your 
mythology.  Now  tell  mc,  why  do  you  want  those 
beasts  to  love  you?  Beasts!  Do  you  understand, 
He.?  You  too,  you're  from  that  world.  She'll  Hsten 
more  to  you.  Explain  it  to  her.  Whom  can  those 
beasts  love.?  Those  hairy  monsters,  with  diabolic 
eyes? 


78  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

[Genially']  :  I  believe — only  their  equals.  You  are 
right,  Papa  Briquet — there  must  be  the  same  race. 

Briquet 

Of  course,  and  this  is  all  nonsense — literature.  Ex- 
plain it  to  her.  He. 

He 

[Takes  on  a  meditative  air]  :  Yes,  you  are  right. 
Briquet. 

BaiauET 

You  see,  dear,  silly  woman — everybody  agrees.    .    .    . 

Mancini 

Oh!  Briquet,  you  make  me  sick;  you  are  an  abso- 
lute despot,  an  Asiatic. 

ZiNIDA 

[With  the  shadow  of  a  smile,  gives  her  hand  to  he 
hissed]  :  Calm  yourself,  Louis.  It  is  over — I  am 
going  home.      [She  stands  up,  shaking,  still  chilled.] 

Briquet 
But  how?  alone,  dear? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  79 

Mancini 

What !  fool !  Did  you  imagine  that  Count  Mancini 
would  leave  a  woman  Avhen  she  needed  help?  /  shall 
take  her  home — let  your  brutal  heart  be  at  rest — I 
shall  take  her  home.  Thomas,  run  for  an  automobile. 
Don't   push   me   Briquet,   you    are   as    awkward   as    a 

unicorn    .     .     .    that's    the   way,    that's   the   way 

[They  are  holding  her,  guiding  her  slowly  toward  the 
door.  CoNsuELO,  her  chin  resting  in  her  hand,  is 
following  them  with  her  eyes.  Unconsciously  she  as- 
sumes a  somewhat  affected  pose.'\ 

Mancini 
I'll  come  back  for  you,  child 


[^Only  HE  and  Consuelo  are  left  on  the  stage.  In 
the  ring,  music,  shrieks,  and  laughter  begin 
again.'\ 


He 


Consuelo- 


CONSUELO 

Is  that  you,  He,  dear? 

He 

Where  did  you  learn  that  pose?     I  have  seen  it  only 
in  marble.     You  look  like  Psyche. 


80  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

I  don't  know,  He.  \_She  sighs  and  sits  on  the  sofa, 
keeping  in  her  pose  the  same  artificiality  and  beauty. '\ 
It's  all  so  sad  here,  to-day.     He,   are  you  sorry  for 

ZlNIDA.'' 


He 


What  did  she  do.? 


CONSHELO 


I  didn't  see.  I  had  closed  my  eyes,  and  didn't  open 
them.  Alfred  says  she  is  a  wicked  woman,  but  that 
isn't  true.  She  has  such  nice  eyes,  and  what  tiny  cold 
hands — as  if  she  were  dead.  What  does  she  do  it  for.^^ 
Alfred  says  she  should  be  audacious,  beautiful,  but 
quiet,  otherwise  what  she  does  is  only  disgusting.  It 
isn't  true,  is  it,  He.? 


He 


She  loves  Alfred. 


CONSUELO 


Alfred?  My  Bezano?  [Shrugging  her  shoulders, 
and  surprised^  How  does  she  love  him.?  The  same 
as  everyone  loves? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  81 

He 

Yes — as  everyone  loves — or  still  more. 

CONSUELO 

Bezano?  Bezano?  No — it's  nonsense.  \^Pause; 
silence.']  What  a  beautiful  costume  you  have,  He. 
You  invented  it  yourself .'' 

He 

Jim  helped  me. 

CoNSUELO 

Jim  is  so  nice !    All  clowns  are  nice. 

He 

I  am  wicked. 

CoNSUELO 

[^Laughsl:  You?  You  are  the  nicest  of  all.  Oh, 
goodness !  Three  acts  more !  This  is  the  second  on 
now.  Alfred  and  I  are  in  the  third.  Are  you  coming 
to  see  me.'' 

He 

I  always  do.     How  beautiful  you  are,  Consuelo. 


82  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

Like  Eve?    [Smiles.'\ 

He 

Yes,  Consuelo.  And  if  the  Baron  asks  you  to  be  his 
wife,  will  you  accept? 

Consuelo 

Certainly,  He.  That's  all  Father  and  I  are  wait- 
ing for.  Father  told  me  yesterday  that  the  Baron 
will  not  hesitate  very  long.  Of  course  I  do  not  love 
him.  But  I  will  be  his  honest,  faithful  wife.  Father 
wants  to  teach  me  to  play  the  piano. 

He 

Are  those  your  own  words — "his  honest,  faithful 
wife"? 

Consuelo 

Certainly  they  are  mine.  Whose  could  they  be? 
He  loves  me  so  much,  the  poor  thing.  Dear  He, 
what  does  "love"  mean?  Everybody  speaks  of  love — 
love — Zinida,  too  !  Poor  Zinida  !  What  a  boring  eve- 
ning this  has  been !  He,  did  you  paint  the  laughter 
on  your  face  yourself? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  83 

He 

My  own  self,  dear  little  Consuelo 

CONSUELO 

How  do  you  do  it,  all  of  you?  I  tried  once,  but 
couldn't  do  a  thing.  Why  are  there  no  women 
clowns?  Why  are  you  so  silent.  He?  You,  too,  are 
sad,  to-night. 

He 

No,  I  am  happy  to-night.  Give  me  your  hand, 
Consuelo,  I  want  to  see  Avhat  it  says. 

Consuelo 

Do  you  know  how?  What  a  talented  man  you  are! 
Read  it,  but  don't  lie,  like  a  gypsy.  [He  goes  down 
on  one  hnee  and  takes  her  hand.  Both  bend  over  it.'\ 
Am  I  lucky? 

He 

Yes,  lucky.  But  wait  a  minute — this  line  here — 
funny.  Ah,  Consuelo,  what  does  it  say,  here!  [Act- 
ingl  I  tremble,  my  eyes  do  not  dare  to  read  the 
strange,  fatal  signs.     Consuelo — 

Consuelo 
The  stars   are  talking. 


84  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Yes,  the  stars  are  talking.  Their  voices  are  distant 
and  terrible;  their  rays  are  pale,  and  their  shadows 
slip  by,  like  the  ghosts  of  dead  virgins — their  spell  is 
upon  thee,  Consuelo,  beautiful  Consuelo.  Thou  stand- 
est  at  the  door  of  Eternity. 

Consuelo 

I  don't  understand.  Does  it  mean  that  I  will  live 
long.? 

He 

This  line — how  far  it  goes.  Strange!  Thou  wilt 
live  eternally,  Consuelo. 

Consuelo 
You   see.    He,   you    did  tell   me    a   lie,   just   like    a 

gypsy ! 

He 

But  it  is  written — here,  silly — and  here.  Now 
think  of  what  the  stars  are  saying.  Here  you  have 
eternal  life,  love,  and  glory;  and  here,  listen  to  what 
Jupiter  says.  He  says:  "Goddess,  thou  must  not 
belong  to  any  one  born  on  earth,"  and  if  you  marry 
the  Baron — you'll  perish,  you'll  die,  Consuelo.  [^Con- 
suelo  laughs. '\ 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  85 

CONSUELO 

Will  he  eat  me? 

He 
No.    But  you  will  die  before  he  has  time  to  eat  you. 

CoNSUELO 

And  what  will  become  of  Father?  Is  there  nothing 
about  him  here?  [Laughing,  she  softly  sings  the  mel- 
ody of  the  waltz,  which  is  playing  in  the  distance.^ 

He 

Don't  laugh,  Consuelo,  at  the  voice  of  the  stars. 
They  are  far  away,  their  rays  are  light  and  pale,  and 
we  can  barely  see  their  sleeping  shadows,  but  their 
sorcery  is  stem  and  dark.  You  stand  at  the  gates  of 
eternity.  Your  die  is  cast ;  you  are  doomed — and  your 
Alfred,  whom  you  love  in  your  heart,  even  though 
your  mind  is  not  aware  of  it,  your  Alfred  cannot  save 
you.  He,  too,  is  a  stranger  on  this  earth.  He  is 
submerged  in  a  deep  sleep.  He,  too,  is  a  little  god 
who  has  lost  himself,  and  Consuelo,  never,  never  will 
he  find  his  way  to  Heaven  again.     Forget  Bezano 

Consuelo 

I  don't  understand  a  word.  Do  the  gods  really 
exist?      My    teacher    told    me    about    them.      But    I 


86  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

thought  it  was  all  tales !     [Laughs.^     And  my  Bezano 
IK  a  god? 

He 

Forget   Bezano !      Consuelo,  do  you  know  who   can 
save  you?     The  only  one  who  can  save  you?     I. 

Consuelo 
l^LaugJiing^  :     You,  He? 

He 

Yes,  but  don't  laugh!  Look.  Here  is  the  letter  H. 
It  is  I,  He. 

Consuelo 
He  Who  Gets  Slapped?     Is  that  written  here,  too? 

He 

That,  too.  The  stars  know  everything.  But  look 
here,  what  more  is  written  about  him.  Consuelo,  wel- 
come him.  He  is  an  old  god  in  disguise,  who  came 
down  to  earth  only  to  love  you,  foolish  little  Consuelo. 

Consuelo 
[Laughing  and  singing^  :     Some  god ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  87 

He 

Don't  mock!  The  gods  don't  like  such  empty 
laughter  from  beautiful  lips.  The  gods  grow  lonely 
and  die,  when  they  are  not  recognized.  Oh,  Consuelo ! 
Oh,  great  joy  and  love!  Do  recognize  this  god,  and 
accept  him.  Think  a  moment,  one  day  a  god  suddenly 
went  crazy ! 

Consuelo 
Gods  go  crazy,  too.'^ 

He 

Yes,  when  they  are  half  man,  then  they  often  go 
mad.  Suddenly  he  saw  his  own  sublimity,  and  shud- 
dered with  horror,  with  infinite  solitude,  with  super- 
human anguish.  It  is  terrible,  when  anguish  touches 
the  divine  soul! 

Consuelo 

I  don't  like  it.  What  language  are  you  speaking? 
I  don't  understand 

He 

I  speak  the  language  of  thy  awakening.  Consuelo, 
recognize  and  accept  thy  god,  who  was  thrown  down 
from  the  summit  like  a  stone.    Accept  the  god  who  fell 


88  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

to  the  earth  in  order  to  live,  to  play,  and  to  be  infinitely 
drunk  with  joy.     Evoe  Goddess! 


CONSUELO 

[Tortured^  :  He —  I  cannot  understand.  Let  my 
hand  alone. 

He 

{Stands  wp]  :  Sleep.  Then  wake  again,  Consuelo ! 
And  when  thou  wakest — remember  that  hour  when, 
covered  with  snow-wliite  sea-foam,  thou  didst  emerge 
from  the  sky-blue  waters.  Remember  heaven,  and  the 
slow  eastern  wind,  and  the  whisper  of  the  foam  at  thy 
marble  feet. 

Consuelo 

[Her  eyes  are  closed'\  :  I  believe — wait — I  remem- 
ber.    Remind  me  further 

J[HE  is  bowed  over  Consuelo,  with  lifted  arms;   he 

speaks  slowly,  but  in  a  commanding  voice,  as  if 

conjuring.^ 


H 


E 


You  see  the  waves  playing.  Remember  the  song  of 
the  sirens,  their  sorrowless  song  of  joy.  Their  white 
bodies,  shining  blue  through  the  blue  waters.     Or  can 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  89 

you  hear  the  sun,  singing?  Like  the  strings  of  a 
divine  harp,  spread  the  golden  rays —  Do  you  not 
see  the  hand  of  God,  which  gives  harmony,  light,  and 
love  to  the  world?  Do  not  the  mountains,  in  the  blue 
cloud  of  incense,  sing  their  hymn  of  glory?  Remem- 
ber, O  Consuelo,  remember  the  prayer  of  the  moun- 
tains, the  prayer  of  the  sea.    \^Silence.^ 

He 

[^Commandingly^  :     Remember — Consuelo ! 

Consuelo 

{^Opening  her  eye8~\:  No!  He,  I  was  feeling  so 
happy,  and  suddenly  I  forgot  it  all.  Yet  something 
of  it  all  is  still  in  my  heart.  Help  me  again,  He, 
remind  me.  It  hurts,  I  hear  so  many  voices.  They 
all  sing  "Consuelo — Consuelo."  What  comes  after? 
[Silence;  pause.^  What  comes  after?  It  hurts.  Re- 
mind me,  He.  [^Silence — in  the  ring,  the  music  sud- 
denly bursts  forth  in  a  tempestuous  circus  gallop. 
Silence.']  He,  [opens  her  eyes  and  smiles]  that's  Al- 
fred galloping.     Do  you  recognize  his  music? 

He 

[  With  rage]  :  Leave  the  boy  alone !  [Suddenly 
falls  on  his  knees  before  Consuelo.]  I  love  you,  Con- 
suelo,  revelation   of  my  heart,  light  of  my   nights,   I 


90  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

love  you,   Consuelo.      \^Looks   at  her  in  ecstasy  and 
tears — and  gets  a  slap;  starting  hack.^    What's  this? 

Consuelo 

A  slap!  You  forget  who  you  are.  \^Stands  up, 
with  anger  in  her  eyes.'\  You  are  He  Who  Gets 
Slapped!  Did  you  forget  it?  Some  god!  With  such 
a  face — slapped  face !  Was  it  with  slaps  they  threw 
you  down  from  heaven,  god? 

He 

Wait !   Don't  stand  up !   I — did  not  finish  the  play ! 

Consuelo 
[^Si^s]  :     Then  you  were  playing? 

He 

Wait!     One  minute. 

Consuelo 

You  lied  to  me.  Why  did  you  play  so  that  I 
believed  you? 

He 

I  am  He  Who  Gets  Slapped! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  91 

CONSUELO 

You  are  not  angry  because  I  struck  you?  I  did 
not  want  to  really,  but  you  were  so — disgusting.  And 
now  you  are  so  funny  again.  You  have  great  talent, 
He — or  are  you  drunk.'' 


He 


Strike  me  again. 


No. 


CoNSUELO 


He 

I  need  it  for  my  play.    Strike! 

CoNSUELO 

[Laughs,  and  touches  his  cheek  with  her  finger- 
tips^ :     Here,  then ! 

He 

Didn't  you  understand  that  you  are  a  queen,  and  I 
a  fool  who  is  in  love  with  his  queen?  Don't  you  know, 
Consuelo,  that  every  queen  has  a  fool,  and  he  is  always 
in  love  with  her,  and  they  always  beat  him  for  it.  He 
Wlio  Gets  Slapped. 


92  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

No.     I  didn't  know. 

He 

Yes,  every  queen.     Beauty  has  her  fool.     Wisdom, 
too.     Oh,  how  many  fools  she  has !     Her  court  is  over- 
crowded with  enamoured  fools,  and  the  sound  of  slaps 
does  not  cease,  even  through  the  night.     But  I  never 
received   such   a   sweet   slap    as   the   one   given   by  my 
little   queen.      \^Someone   appears   at   the   door.      HE 
notices  it,  and  continues  to  play,  maJcing  many  faces.^ 
Clown  He  can  have  no  rival !     Who  is  there  who  could 
stand   such    a    deluge  of   slaps,    such   a   hail-storm    of 
slaps,   and   not   get  soaked?      \^Feigns   to  cry   aloud.^ 
"Have  pity  on  me.     I  am  but  a  poor  fool !" 
[Enter    two   men:   an   actor,    dressed   as   a    barehack 
rider,  and  a  gentleman  from  the  audience.     He  is 
spare,    dressed   in    black,    very    respectable.      He 
carries  his  hat  in  his  hand.^ 

CoNSUELO 

[Laughing,    embarrassed'] :      He,   there   is    someone 
here.     Stop ! 

He 

[Gets  upl:    Who  is  it?     Who  dares  to  intrude  in 
the  castle  of  my  queen? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  93 

[^HE  stops,  suddenly.  Consuelo,  laughing,  jumps  up 
and  runs  away,  after  a  quick  glance  at  the  gen- 
tleman.^ 

Consuelo 

You  cheered  me  up,  He.  Good-bye.  \^At  the  door\ 
You  shall  get  a  note  to-morrow. 

The  Bareback  Rider 

YLaughing'\  :  A  jolly  fellow,  sir.  You  wanted  to 
see  him?  There  he  is.  He,  the  gentleman  wants  to  sec 
you. 

He 

[In  a  depressed  voiceJi :     What  can  I  do  for  you? 
[The  actor  bows,  and  goes  away,  smiling.     Both  men 
take  a  step  toward  each  other. 1^ 


Gentleman 
Is  this  you? 

He 
Yes!     It  is  I.     And  you?     [Silence.^ 

Gentleman 
Must  I  believe  my  eyes?     Is  this  you,  Mr. 


94  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

[In  a  rage'\  :  My  name  here  is  He.  I  have  no 
other  name,  do  you  hear?  He  Who  Gets  Slapped. 
And  if  you  want  to  stay  here,  don't  forget  it. 

Gentleman 
You  are  so  famihar.     As  far  as  I  can  remember 


He 

We  are  all  familiar,  here.      IContemptuously]      Be- 
sides, that's  all  you  deserve,  anywhere. 

Gentleman 

[Humbly'\:      You    have    not     forgiven    me,     He.'' 
[^Silence.'l 

He 

Are   you   here  with  my   wife?      Is   she,   too,   in   the 
circus? 

Gentleman 

[Quickly^ :      Oh,    no !      I    am    alone.      She    stayed 
there ! 

He 

YouVe  left  her  already? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  95 

Gentleman 

[Humbly^  :  No — we  have — a  son.  After  your 
sudden  and  mysterious  disappearance-^when  you  left 
that  strange  and  insulting  letter 

He 

[Laughsl^  :  Insulting?  You  are  still  able  to  feel 
insults?  What  are  you  doing  here?  Were  you  look- 
ing for  me,  or  is  it  an  accident? 

Gentleman 

I  have  been  looking  for  you,  for  half  a  year — 
through  many  countries.  And  suddenly,  to-day — by 
accident,  indeed — I  had  no  acquaintances  here,  and  I 
went  to  the  circus.  We  must  talk  things  over  .  .  . 
He,  I  implore  you.      [Silence.'\ 

He 

Here  is   a  shadow   I   cannot   lose !      To   talk   things 

over!     Do  you  really  think  we  still  have  something  to 

talk  over?     All  right.     Leave  your  address  with  the 

porter,  and  I  will  let  you  know  when  you  can  see  me. 

Now  get  out.      [^Proudly.^     I  am  busy. 

[^The  gentleman  bozcs  and  leaves.     HE  docs  not  return 

his  bow,  but  stands  with  outstretched  hand,  in  the 

pose  of  a  great  man,  who  shows  a  boring  visitor 

the  door.'\ 

Curtain 


ACT    III 

The  same  room.  Morning,  before  the  rehearsal. 
HE  is  striding  thoughtfully  up  and  down  the  room. 
He  wears  a  broad,  parti-coloured  coat,  and  a  pris- 
matic tie.  His  derby  is  on  the  back  of  his  head,  and 
his  face  is  clean-shaven  like  that  of  an  actor.  His 
eyebrotcs  are  drawn,  lips  pressed  together  energeti- 
cally, his  whole  appearance  severe  and  sombre.  After 
the  entrance  of  the  gentleman  he  changes.  His  face 
becomes  clown-like,  mobile — a  living  mask. 

The  gentleman  comes  in.  He  is  dressed  in  black, 
and  has  an  extremely  well-bred  appearance.  His  thin 
face  is  yellowish,  like  an  invalid's.  When  he  is  upset, 
his  colourless,  dull  eyes  often  twitch.  HE  does  not 
notice  him. 

Gentleman 
Good  moiTiing,  sir. 

He 

[Turning  around  and  looking  at  him  absent-mind- 
edly'\  :    Ah !     It's  you. 

96 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  97 

Gentleman 

I  am  not  late?  You  look  as  if  you  did  not  expect 
me.  I  hope  I  am  not  disturbing  you?  You  fixed  this 
time  yourself  however,  and  I  took  the  liberty 

He 

No  manners,  please.  What  do  you  want?  Tell  me 
quickly,  I  have  no  time. 

Gentleman 

[Looking  around  with  distaste^  :  I  expected  you 
would  invite  me  to  some  other  place  ...  to  your 
home. 

He 

I  have  no  other  home.     This  is  my  home. 

Gentleman 
But  people  may  disturb  us  here. 

He 

So  much  the  worse  for  you.      Talk  faster !      [Silence.^ 

Gentleman 
Will  you  allow  me  to  sit  down? 


98  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Sit  down.  Look  out !  That  chair  is  broken. 
[^The  gentleman,  afraid,  pushes  away  the  chair  and 
looks  helplessly  around.  Everything  here  seems 
to  him  dangerous  and  strange.  He  chooses  an 
apparently  solid  little  gilded  divan,  and  sits 
dozen;  puts  his  silk  hat  aside,  slowly  takes  off  his 
gloves,  which  stick  to  his  fingers.  HE  observes 
him  indiff erently .'\ 

Gentleman 

In  this  suit,  and  with  this  face,  you  make  a  still 
stranger  impression.  Yesterday  it  seemed  to  me  that 
it  was  all  a  dream ;   to-day     .     .      .     you 

He 

You  have  forgotten  my  name  again.''  My  name 
is  He. 

Gentleman 

You  are  determined  to  continue  talking  to  me  like 
this? 

He 

Decidedly!  But  you  are  squandering  your  time 
like  a  millionaire.     Hurry  up ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  99 

Gentleman 

I  really  don't  know  .  .  .  Everything  here  strikes 
me  so  .  .  .  These  posters,  horses,  animals,  which 
I  passed  when  I  was  looking  for  you  .  .  .  And 
finally,  you,  a  clown  in  a  circus!  [With  a  slight, 
deprecating  smile.'\  Could  I  expect  it?  It  is  true, 
when  everybody  there  decided  that  you  were  dead,  I 
was  the  only  man  who  did  not  agree  with  them.  I 
felt  that  you  were  still  alive.  But  to  find  you  among 
such  surroundings — I  can't  understand  it. 

He 

You  said  you  have  a  son,  now.  Doesn't  he  look 
like  me.'* 

Gentleman 

I  don't  understand? 

He 

Don't  you  know  that  widows  or  divorced  women 
often  have  children  by  the  new  husband,  which  re- 
semble the  old  one?  This  misfortune  did  not  befall 
jou?  [Laughs. '\  And  your  book,  too,  is  a  big  suc- 
cess, I  hear. 

Gentleman 
You  want  to  insult  me  again? 


100  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

l^Laughingl :  What  a  restless,  touchy  faker  you 
are!  Please  sit  still;  be  quiet.  It  is  the  custom  here 
to  speak  this  way.     Why  were  you  trying  to  find  me? 

Gentleman 

My  conscience 

He 

You  have  no  conscience.  Or  were  you  afraid  that 
you  hadn't  robbed  me  of  everything  I  possessed,  and 
you  came  for  the  rest?  But  what  more  could  you 
take  from  me  now?  My  fool's  cap  with  its  bells?  You 
wouldn't  take  it.  It's  too  big  for  your  bald  head ! 
Crawl  back,   you  book-worm ! 

Gentleman 
You  cannot  forgive  the  fact  that  your  wife 

He 

To  the  devil  with  my  wife !  [The  gentleman  is  startled 
and  raises  his  eyebrows.     HE  laughs.^ 

Gentleman 

I  don't  know.  .  .  .  But  such  language!  I 
confess  I  find  difficulty  in   expressing  my  thoughts  in 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  101 

such  an  atmosphere,  but  if  you  are  so  .  .  .  in- 
different to  your  wife,  who,  I  shall  allow  myself  to 
emphasize  the  fact,  loved  you  and  thought  you  were  a 

saint ^HE  laughs. '\     Then  what  brought  you  to 

such  a  .  .  .  step?  Or  is  it  that  you  cannot  for- 
give me  my  success?  A  success,  it  is  true,  not  entirely 
deserved.  And  now  you  want  to  take  vengeance,  with 
your  humbleness,  on  those  who  misunderstood  you. 
But  you  always  were  so  indifferent  to  glory.  Or  your 
indifference  was  only  hypocrisy.  And  when  I,  a  more 
lucky  rival 

He 

[With  a  hurst  of  laughter^:  Rival!  You — a 
rival ! 

Gentleman 
[^Gromng  pale^  :   But  my  book ! 

He 

You  are  talking  to  me  about  your  book?  To  me? 
[^The  gentleman  is  very  pale.  HE  looks  at  him  with 
curiosity  and  mockery.^ 

Gentleman 
{^Raising  his  eyes^  :     I  am  a  very  unhappy  man. 


102  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Why? 

Gentleman 

I  am  a  very  unhappy  man.     You  must  forgive  me. 
I  am  deeply,  irreparably,  and  infinitely  unhappy. 

He 

But  why?  Explain  it  to  me.  [Starts  walking  up 
and  down.^  You  say  yourself  that  your  book  is  a 
tremendous  success,  you  are  famous,  you  have  glory; 
there  is  not  a  yellow  newspaper  in  which  you  and  your 
thoughts  are  not  mentioned.  Who  knows  me?  Who 
cares  about  my  heavy  abstractions,  from  which  it  was 
difficult  for  them  to  derive  a  single  thought?  You — 
you  are  the  great  vulgarizer!  You  have  made  my 
thoughts  comprehensible  even  to  horses !  With  the  art 
of  a  great  vulgarizer,  a  tailor  of  ideas,  you  dressed 
my  Apollo  in  a  barber's  jacket,  you  handed  my  Venus 
a  yellow  ticket,  and  to  my  bright  hero  you  gave  the 
ears  of  an  ass.  And  then  your  career  is  made,  as 
Jackson  says.  And  wherever  I  go,  the  whole  street 
looks  at  me  with  thousands  of  faces,  in  which — what 
mockery — I  recognize  the  traits  of  my  own  children. 
Oh!  How  ugly  your  son  must  be,  if  he  resembles  me! 
Why  then  are  you  unhappy,  you  poor  devil?  [The 
gentleman   bows    his    head,    plucking   at    his   gloves.^ 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  103 

The  police  haven't  caught  you,  as  yet.  What  am  I 
talking  about?  Is  it  possible  to  catch  you?  You 
always  keep  within  the  limits  of  the  law.  You  have 
been  torturing  yourself  up  to  now  because  you  are 
not  married  to  my  wife.  A  notary  public  is  always 
present  at  your  thefts.  What  is  the  use  of  this  self- 
torture,  my  friend?  Get  married.  I  died.  You  are 
not  satisfied  with  having  taken  only  my  wife?  Let 
my  glory  remain  in  your  possession.  It  is  yours.  Ac- 
cept my  ideas.  Assume  all  the  rights,  my  most  lawful 
heir  I  I  died!  And  when  I  was  dying  [making  a 
stupidly  pious  face^  I  forgave  thee !  [Bursts  out 
laughing.  The  gentleman  raises  his  head,  and  bend- 
ing forward,  looks  straight  into  HE's  eyes.^ 

Gentleman 
And  my  pride? 

He 
Have  you  any  pride?  [The  gentleman  straightens 
up,  and  nods  his  head  silently. '\  Yes!  But  please  stand 
off  a  little.  I  don't  like  to  look  at  you.  Think  of  it. 
There  was  a  time  when  I  loved  you  a  Httle,  even  thought 
you  a  little  gifted!   You — my  empty  shadow. 

Gentleman 
[Nodding   his   head']  :     I   am  your   shadow.      [HE 
keeps  on  walking,  and  looks  over  his  shoulder  at  the 
gentleman,  with  a  smile.] 


104.  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Oh,  you  are  mars^ellous !  What  a  comedy!  What 
a  toucliing  comedy!  Listen,  Tell  me  frankly  if  you 
can;  do  you  hate  me  very  much? 

Gentleman 

Yes!  With  all  the  hate  there  is  in  the  world!  Sit 
down  here. 


He 


You  order  me? 


Gentleman 


Sit  down  here.  Thank  you.  \^Bows.^  I  am  re- 
spected and  I  am  famous,  yes?  I  have  a  wife  and  a 
son,  yes.  [Lauglis  slowly.^  My  wife  still  loves  you: 
our  favourite  discussion  is  about  your  genius.  She 
supposes  you  are  a  genius.  We,  I  and  she,  love  you 
even  when  we  are  in  bed.  Tss !  It  is  I  who  must 
make  faces.  My  son — yes,  he'll  resemble  you.  And 
when,  in  order  to  have  a  little  rest,  I  go  to  my  desk, 
to  my  ink-pot,  my  books — there,  too,  I  find  you.  Al- 
ways you !  Everywhere  you !  And  I  am  never  alone 
— never  myself  and  alone.  And  when  at  night — you, 
sir,  should  understand  this — when  at  night  I  go  to 
my   lonely    thoughts,   to   my   sleepless    contemplations. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  105 

even  then  I  find  your  image  in  my  head,  in  my  un- 
fortunate brain,  your  damned  and  hateful  image! 
[^Silence.     Tlie  gentleman's  eyes  tzcitch.^ 


He 

[Speaking  sIowIt/I  :  What  a  comedy.  How  mar- 
vellously everything  is  turned  about  in  this  world: 
the  robbed  proves  to  be  a  robber,  and  the  robber  is 
complaining  of  theft,  and  cursing!  [Laughs.]  Lis- 
ten, I  was  mistaken.  You  are  not  my  shadow.  You 
are  the  crowd.  If  you  live  by  my  creations,  you  hate 
me;  if  you  breathe  my  breath,  you  are  choking  with 
anger.  And  choking  with  anger,  hating  me,  you  still 
walk  slowly  on  the  trail  of  my  ideas.  But  you  are 
advancing  backward,  advancing  backward,  comrade! 
Oh,  what  a  marvellous  comedy!  [Walking  and  smil- 
ing.'] Tell  me,  would  you  be  relieved  if  I  really  had 
died.? 

Gentleman 

Yes !  I  think  so.  Death  augments  distance  and 
dulls  the  memory.  Death  reconciles.  But  you  do  not 
look  like  a  man  who 

He 

Yes,  yes !     Death,  certainly! 


106  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Gentleman 
Sit  down  here. 

He 
Your  obedient  servant.     Yes? 

Gentleman 

Certainly?  I  do  not  dare  to  ask  you — [makes  a 
grimace^  to  ask  you  to  die,  but  tell  me:  you'll  never 
come  back  there?  No,  don't  laugh.  If  you  want  me 
to,  I'll  kiss  your  hand.  Don't  grimace !  I  would 
have  done  so  if  you  had  died. 


H 


e 


[Sloxdy~\  :     Get  out,  vermin  ! 
l^Enter  Tilly  and  Polly  as  in   the  'first  act,  playing. 
For  a  long  time  they  do  not  see  the  two  men.^ 

He 
Jack ! 

Tilly 

Ah!  Good  morning,  He.  We  are  rehearsing.  You 
know  it  is  very  hard.  Jack  has  just  about  as  much 
music  in  his  head  as  my  pig. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  107 

He 

\ Introducing,    noncJialantlyl :      My    friend     . 
For  the  benefit  performance?     [The  clowns  bow  to  the 
gentleman,  making  idiotic  faces-l^ 

POLT.Y 

Yes.  What  are  you  preparing?  You  are  cunning, 
He!  Consuelo  told  me  what  you  are  preparing  for 
the  benefit  performance.  She  leaves  us  soon,  you 
know? 


Is  that  so? 


He 


Tilly 


Zinida      told   us.      Do   you   think  she   would   get   a 
benefit  performance  otherwise?     She  is   a  nice  girl. 

Polly 

[Taking  his  small  flute-pipel :  Here !  Don't  walk 
as  if  you  were  an  elephant.  Don't  forget  you  are  an 
ant!     Come  on!     [They  go  off,  playing.'\ 

Gentleman 

[Smiling'l  :  These  are  your  new  comrades?  How 
strange  they  are ! 


108  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Everything  here  is  strange. 

Gentleman 

This  suit  of  yours.  Black  used  to  be  very  becoming 
to  you.     Tliis  one  hurts  the  eyes. 

He 

\^Looking  himself  over^  :  Why.''  It  looks  very  nice. 
The  rehearsal  has  begun.  You  must  go  away.  You 
are  disturbing  us. 

Gentleman 

You  did  not  answer  my  question. 
[^Slow  strains  of  the  Tango  from  a  small  orchestra  in 
the  ring.'\ 

He 

[Listening  absent-mindedly  to  the  music^ :  What 
question? 

Gentleman 

[Who  does  not  hear  tJie  music'\:  I  pray  you  to 
tell  me:  will  you  ever  come  back? 

He 

[Listening  to  the  music'] :     Never,  never,  never! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  109 

Gentleman 
l^Getting  up^  :     Thank  you.     I  am  going. 

He 

Never,  never,  never!  Yes,  run  along.  And  don't 
come  back.  There  you  were  still  bearable  and  useful 
for  something,  but  here  you  are  superfluous. 

Gentleman 

But  if  something  should  happen  to  you  .  •  • 
you  are  a  healthy  man,  but  in  this  environment,  these 
people  .  .  .  how  will  I  know?  They  don't  know 
your  name  here.? 

He 

My  name  here  is  unknown,  but  you  will  know. 
Anything  else.'' 

Gentleman 

I  can  be  at  peace?  On  your  word  of  honour?  Of 
course  I  mean,  comparatively,  at  peace? 

He 

Yes,  you  may  be  comparatively  at  peace.  Never! 
\They  walk  to  the  door,  the  gentleman  stops.'\ 


110  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Gentleman 

May  I  come  to  the  circus?    You  will  allow  me? 

He 

Certainly.  You  are  the  audience!  {^Laughs.l  But 
I  shan't  give  you  my  card  for  a  pass.  But  why  do 
you  want  to  come?  Or  do  you  like  the  circus  so 
much,  and  since  when? 

Gentleman 

I  want  to  look  at  you  some  more,  and  to  under- 
stand, perhaps.  Such  a  transformation !  Knowing 
you  as  I  do,  I  cannot  admit  that  you  are  here  without 
any  idea.  But  what  idea?  [Looks  shortsightedly  at 
HE.     HE  grimaces  and  thumbs  his  nose.^ 

Gentleman 

What  is  that? 

He 

My  idea!     Good-bye,  Prince!     My  regards  to  your 
respected  wife,  your  Highness'  wonderful  son! 
[Enter  Mancini.] 

Mancini 

You  positively  live  in  the  circus,  He.  Whenever  I 
come,  you  are  here.     You  are  a  fanatic  in  your  work, 

sir. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  111 

He 

[Introducingi :  Prince  Poniatovsky,  Count  Man- 
cini. 

Mancini 

[Dramng  himself  wp]  :  Very,  very  glad.  And  you 
too,  Prince,  you  know  my  queer  fellow?  What  a  nice 
face  he  has,  hasn't  he?  [He  toucJies  HE'S  shoulder 
patronizingly,  "with  the  tip  of  his  cane.'\ 

Gentleman 

[A'wliwardly'\  :     Yes,   I  have  the  pleasure     . 
certainly.     Good-bye,  Count. 

Mancini 
Good-day,  Prince. 

He 

[Accompanying  him'\  :  Look  out,  your  Highness, 
for  the  dark  passages:  the  steps  are  so  rotten.  Un- 
fortunately I  cannot  usher  you  out  to  the  street. 

Gentleman 

[/w  a  low  voice^  :  You  will  not  give  me  your  hand 
when  we  say  good-bye?    We  are  parting  for  ever. 


112  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Unnecessary,  Prince.  I  shall  still  hope  to  meet  you 
in  the  Kingdom  of  Heaven.  I  trust  you  will  be  there, 
too? 

Gentleman 

l^With  disgusf]:  How  you  did  succeed!  You  have 
so  much  of  the  clown  in  you ! 

He 

I  am  H«  Who  is  Getting  Slapped.  Good-bye, 
Prince.      \_They   take  another  step.^ 

Gentleman 

[Looking  HE  in  the  eyes;  in  a  very  low  voice^  : 
Tell  me,  you  are  not  mad.? 

He 

[Just  as  low,  his  eyes  wide  open'\  :  I  am  afraid,  I 
am  afraid  you  are  right,  Prince.  \_Still  lowl^  Ass! 
Never  in  your  life  did  you  use  such  a  precise  expres- 
sion.    I  am  mad ! 

[Playing  the  clown  again,  he  shows  him  to  the  stair, 
with  a  big,  affected  gesture,  a  sweep  of  the  hand 
and  arm  from  his  head  to  the  floor,  the  fingers 
moving,  to  represent  the  steps. '[ 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  113 

He 

[Laughing^ :  He  is  down !  Au  revoir.  Prince. 
[The  gentleman  goes  out.  HE  comes  skipping  back, 
and  takes  a  pose.^  Mancini!  Let  us  dance  the 
Tango !     Mancini,  I  adore  you ! 

Mancini 

[^Sitting  back  comfortably  and  playing  with  his 
caneJi  :  Don''t  forget  yourself,  He.  But  you're  hid- 
ing something,  my  boy.  I  always  said  you  used  to 
belong  to  society.  It  is  so  easy  to  talk  to  you.  And 
who  is  this  Prince?     A  genuine  one? 

He 

Genuine.     A  first-rater.     Like  you! 

Mancini 

A  sympathetic  face.  Although  at  first  I  thought 
he  was  an  undertaker  who  came  for  an  order.  Ah, 
He!  When  shall  I  finally  depart  from  these  dirty 
walls,  from  Papa  Briquet,  stupid  posters,  and  brutal 
jockeys! 

He 
Very  soon,  Mancini. 


114  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 

Yes,  soon.  I  am  simply  exhausted  in  these  sur- 
roundings, He  !  I  begin  to  feel  myself  a  horse.  You 
are  from  society,  still  you  don't  yet  know  what  high 
society  means.  To  be  at  last  decently  dressed,  to 
attend  receptions,  to  display  the  splendour  of  wit ; 
from  time  to  time  to  have  a  game  of  baccarat  [laugh- 
ing^ without  tricks  or  cheating 

He 

And  when  evening  comes,  go  to  a  suburb,  where  you 
are  considered  an  honest  father,  who  loves  his  children 
and 

Mancini 

And  get  hold  of  something,  eh?  [Laughs.^  I 
shall  wear  a  silk  mask  and  two  butlers  shall  follow  me, 
thus  protecting  me  from  the  dirty  crowd.  Ah,  He  ! 
The  blood  of  my  ancestors  boils  in  me.  Look  at  this 
stiletto.  What  do  you  think?  Do  you  think  that  it 
was  ever  stained  with  blood? 

He 

You  frighten  me.  Count! 

Mancini 

[Laughing,   and  putting  the  stiletto   back  into  its 
sheath]  :     Fool ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  115 

He 

And  what  about  the  girl? 

Mancini 

Tss!  I  give  those  bourgeois  absolute  satisfaction, 
and  they  glorify  my  name.  \^Laughs.^  The  splen- 
dour of  my  name  is  beginning  to  shine  with  a  force 
unknown.  By  the  way,  do  you  know  what  automobile 
firms  are  the  best?  Money  is  no  object.  \^Laughs.^ 
Ah!     Papa  Briquet! 

[Enter  Briquet  in  his  overcoat   and  silk  hat.     They 
shake  hands J^ 

Briquet 

So,  Mancini,  you  have  obtained  a  benefit  perform- 
ance for  your  daughter,  Consuelo !  I  only  want  to 
tell  you,  that  if  it  were  not  for  Zinida     .     .     . 

Mancini 

Listen,  Briquet.  Decidedly  you  are  a  donkey. 
What  are  you  complaining  of?  The  Baron  has 
bought  all  the  parquet  seats  for  Consuelo's  benefit 
performance.     Isn't  that  enough  for  you,  you  miser? 

Briquet 

I  love  your  daughter,  Mancini,  and  I  am  sorry  to 
let  her  go.     What  more  does  she  need  here?     She  has 


116  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

an   honest   job,    wonderful   comrades,    and   the   atmos- 
phere—  ? 

Mancini 

Not  she,  but  I  need  something.  You  understand? 
[Laughs.^  I  asked  you  to  increase  her  salary,  Har- 
pagon !  and  now,  Mr.  Manager,  wouldn't  you  like  to 
change  me  a  thousand  franc  note.? 

Briquet 
{With  a  sighl :    Give  it  to  me. 

Mancini 

[Nonchalantly^  :  To-morrow.  I  left  it  at  home. 
\_All  three  laugh.^  Laugh,  laugh!  To-day  we  are 
going  with  the  Baron  to  his  villa  in  the  country; 
people  say  a  very  nice  villa. 

He 

What  for.? 

Mancini 

You  know,  He,  the  crazes  of  these  billionaires.     He 
wants  to  show  Consuelo  some  winter  roses,  and  me  his 
wine  cellars.     He  will  come  for  us  here.     What  is  the 
matter,  my  little  Consuelo? 
{Enter  Consuelo,  almost  crying.'] 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  117 

CONSUELO 

I  can't  father!  Tell  him!  What  right  has  he  to 
yell  at  me?     He  almost  hit  me  with  his  whip! 

Mancini 

[Straightening  up'\  :  Briquet !  I  beg  of  you,  as 
the  Manager,  what  is  this — a  stable?  To  hit  my 
daughter  with  a  whip !  I'll  show  this  cub  ...  a 
mere  jockey.  .  .  .  No,  the  devil  knows  what  it  is, 
devi]  knows,  I  swear.     .     .     . 

CoNSUELO 

Father     .     .     . 

Briquet 
I  will  tell  him. 

CoNSUELO 

Please  don't.  Alfred  didn't  hit  me.  It's  a  silly 
thing,  ^yhat  I  told  you.  What  an  idea!  He  is  so 
sorry  himself. 

Briquet 

I  shall  tell  him  anyhow  that 


CoNSUELO 

Don't   you   dare.      You   mustn't  tell  him   anything. 
He  didn't  do  a  thing. 


118  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 
[Still  excited']  :    He  must  beg  her  pardon,  the  brat. 

CONSUELO 

He's  already  asked  me  to  forgive  him.  How  silly 
you  all  are!  I  simply  cannot  work  to-day  and  I  got 
nervous.  What  nonsense !  The  silly  boy  asked  me  to 
forgive  him,  but  I  didn't  want  to.  He,  dear,  good 
morning!  I  didn't  notice  you.  How  becoming  your 
tie  is!     Where  are  you  going.  Briquet.?     To  Alfred.'* 

Briquet 

No,  I  am  going  home,  dear  child.  Zinida  asked  me 
to  give  you  her  love.  She  will  not  be  here  to-day, 
either.      [He  goes  otit.] 

CoNSUELO 

Zinida  is  so  nice,  so  good.  Father,  why  is  it  that 
everybody  seems  so  nice  to  me?  Probably  because  I 
am  going  away  soon.  He,  did  you  hear  the  march 
that  Tilly  and  Polly  will  play.?  [Laughs.']  Such  a 
cheerful  one. 

He 

Yes.  I  heard  it.  Your  benefit  performance  will  be 
remarkable. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  119 

CONSUELO 

I  think  so,  too.  Father  I  am  hungry.  Have  them 
bring  me  a  sandwich. 

He 

I'll  run  for  it,  my  Queen. 

CoNSUELO 

Please  do,  He.     [Loudly'\     But  not  cheese.    I  don*t 
like  it. 
[Mancini  and  Consuelo  are  alone.     Mancini,  lying 

back  comfortably  in  an  armchair,  scrutinizes  his 

daughter  with  a  searching  eye.^ 

Mancini 

I  find  something  particular  in  you  to-day,  my  child. 
I  don't  know  whether  it  is  something  better  or  worse. 
You  cried? 

Consuelo 
Yes,  a  little.     Oh,  I  am  so  hungry. 

Mancini 
But  you  had  your  breakfast? 


120  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

No,  I  didn't.  That's  why  I  am  so  hungry.  You 
again  forgot  to  leave  me  some  money  this  morning, 
and  without  money     .     .     , 

Mancini 

Oh,  the  devil  .  .  .  what  a  memory  I  have. 
[Laughs.^  But  we  shall  have  a  very  nice  meal  to-day. 
Don't  eat  very  many  sandwiches.  .  .  .  Yes,  posi- 
tively I  like  you.  You  must  cry  more  often,  my  child; 
it  washes  off  your  superfluous  simplicity.  You  be- 
come more  of  a  woman. 

CONSUELO 

Am  I  so  simple.  Father? 

Mancini 

Very.  .  .  .  Too  much.  I  like  it  in  others,  but 
not  in  you.     Besides,  the  Baron     . 

CoNSUELO 

Nonsense.  I  am  not  simple.  But  you  know,  Be- 
zano  scolded  me  so  much,  that  even  you  would  have 
cried.     The  devil  knows     .     .     . 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  121 

Mancini 

Tsss.      .     .     .     Never    say    "the    devil    knows."      It 
isn't  decent. 

CONSUELO 

I  say  it  only  wlien  I  am  with  you. 


Man 


CINI 


You  must  not  say  it  when  you  are  with  me,  either. 
I  kno*v^  it  without  you.      '[Laughs.^ 


Co 


NSUELO 


Ha !  Listen,  Father !  It's  a  new  number  of  Alfred's. 
He  makes  such  a  jump!  Jim  says  he's  bound  to  break 
his  neck.     Poor  fish. 


•  • 


Mancini 

[Indifferently']  :  Or  his  leg,  or  his  back ;  they  all 
have  to  break  something.  [Laughs.]  They  are 
breakable  toys. 

CONSUELO 

[Listening  to  tJie  rmisic]  :  I'll  be  lonesome  without 
them,  Father!  The  Baron  promised  to  make  a  ring 
for  me  to  gallop  over  as  much  as  I  want.  He's  not 
lying? 


122  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 

A  ring?  [Laughs.]  No,  it's  not  a  lie.  By  the 
way,  child,  when  speaking  of  Barons,  you  must  say, 
"he  does  not  tell  the  truth,"  and  not,  "he  lies." 

CONSUEXO 

It's  just  the  same.  It's  nice  to  be  wealthy,  Father; 
you  can  do  what  you  want,  then. 

Mancini 

[With  enthusiasm]  :  Everything  you  want.  Every- 
thing, my  child.  Ah !  Our  fate  is  being  decided  to- 
day. Pray  our  clement  God,  Consuelo.  Tlie  Baron  is 
hanging  on  a  thread. 

Consuelo 

[Indifferently] :     Yesi? 

Mancini 

[Making  the  gesture  with  his  fingers]  :  On  a  very 
thin,  silk  thread.  I  am  almost  sure  that  he  will  make 
his  proposal  to-day.  [Laughs.]  Winter  roses,  and 
the  web  of  a  spider  amongst  the  roses,  in  order  that 
my  dear  little  fly     .      .     .     He  is  such  a  spider. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  123 

CONSUELO 

[Indifferently/'] :      Yes,    a    terrible    spider.      Father, 
oughtn't  I  to  let  liim  kiss  my  hand  yet? 

By  no  means.  You  don't  know  yet,  darhng,  what 
these  men  are. 

CONSUELO 

Alfred  never  kisses. 

Mancini 

Alfred!  Your  Alfred  is  a  cub,  and  he  mustn't  dare. 
But  with  men  of  that  sort,  you  must  be  extremely 
careful,  my  child.  To-day  he  would  kiss  your  little 
finger,  to-morrow  your  hand,  and  after  to-morrow 
you  would  be  on  his  lap. 

CoNSUELO 

Foui!  Father,  what  are  you  talking  about?  You 
should  be  ashamed! 

Mancini 
But  I  know.     .     .     . 


124  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

Don't  you  dare !  I  don't  want  to  hear  such  dirty 
things.  I  shall  give  the  Baron  such  a  slap !  A  better 
one  than  He — let  him  only  try. 

Mancini 

\^With  a  deprecating  gesture^  :  All  men  are  like 
that,  child. 

CoNSUELO 

It  isn't  true.  Alfred  is  not.  Ah!  But  where  is 
He.''     He  said  he'd  run,  and  he  hasn't  come  back. 

Mancini 

The  buffet  here  is  closed,  and  he  has  to  get  the 
sandwiches  somewhere  else.  Consuelo,  as  your  father, 
I  want  to  warn  you  about  He.  Don't  trust  him.  He 
knows  something.  l^Twirls  his  finger  close  to  Jits  fore- 
head.^    His  game  is  not  fair. 

Consuelo 

You  say  it  about  everybody.  I  know  He;  he  is 
such  a  nice  man,  and  he  loves  me  so  much. 

Mancini 
Believe  me,  there  is  something  in  it. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  125 

CONSUELO 

Father,  you  make  me  sick  with  your  advice.     Ah! 
He,  thank  you. 

[HE,   breathing   somewhat   heavily,   enters   and  gives 
her  the  sandzviches.^ 


He 


Eat,  Consuelo. 


CoNSUELO 

A  hot  one.  .  .  .  But  you  were  running,  He.? 
I  am  so  grateful.     [Eats.'\     He,  do  you  love  me? 

He 
I  do,  my  Queen.     I  am  your  court  fool. 

Consuelo 

[Eating^  :  And  when  I  leave,  will  you  find  another 
queen  ? 

He 

[Making  a  ceremonious  bow'\  :  I  shall  follow  after 
you,  my  incomparable  one.  I  shall  carry  the  train  of 
your  dress  and  wipe  away  my  tears  with  it.  [Pre- 
tends to  cry.~\ 


126  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 

Idiot !  \^Laiighs.1  How  sorry  I  am,  He,  that 
those  wonderful  times  have  passed,  when,  in  the  court 
of  the  Counts  Mancini,  there  were  scores  of  motley 
fools  who  were  given  gold  and  kicks.  .  .  .  Now, 
Mancini  is  compelled  to  go  to  this  dirty  circus  in 
order  to  see  a  good  fool;  and  still,  whose  fool  is  he? 
Mine?  No.  He  belongs  to  everybody  who  pays  a 
franc.  We  shall  very  soon  be  unable  to  breathe  be- 
cause of  Democracy.  Democracy,  too,  needs  fools ! 
Think  of  it.  He;  what  an  unexampled  impertinence. 

He 

We  are  the  servants  of  those  who  pay.  But  how 
can  we  help  it.  Count? 

MANCiNI 

But  is  that  not  sad?  Imagine:  we  are  in  my  castle. 
I,  near  the  fireplace  wath  my  glass  of  wine,  you,  at 
my  feet  chatting  your  nonsense,  jingling  your  little 
bells — diverting  me.  Sometimes  you  pinch  me  too 
with  your  jokes:  it  is  allowed  by  the  traditions  and 
necessary  for  the  circulation  of  the  blood.  After  a 
while — I  am  sick  of  you,  I  want  another  one. 
Then  I  give  you  a  kick  and  .  .  .  Ah,  He,  how 
wonderful  it  would  be! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  127 

He 

It  would  be  marvellous,  Mancini ! 

Mancini 

Yes.  Certainly !  You  would  be  getting  gold  coins, 
those  wonderfully  little  yellow  things.  .  .  .  Well, 
when  I  become  rich,  I  shall  take  you.     That^s  settled. 

CoNSUEIiO 

Take  him,  Father     .     .     . 

He 

And  when  the  count,  tired  of  my  chattering,  will 
give  me  a  kick  with  his  Highness's  foot,  then  I  shall 
lie  down  at  the  little  feet  of  my  queen,  and  shall 

CONSUELO 

[Laughing']  :  Wait  for  another  kick.?  I'm  finished. 
Father,  give  me  your  handkerchief,  I  Avant  to  wipe  my 
hands.  You  have  another  one  in  your  pocket.  Oh, 
my  goodness,  I  must  work  some  more! 

Maincini 

[^Uneasy']:     But  don't  forget,  my  child! 


128  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

No,  to-day  I  won't  forget !     Go  on  ! 

Mancini 

[Looking  at  his  watch^  :     Yes,  it  is  time. 
He  asked  me  to  come  over  when  you  were  ready.     You 
must  change  your  dress  before  I  come  back.      \^Laugh- 
ing.^     Signori,  miei  complimenti. 

\^He  goes  out,  playing  with  his  cane.  Consuei^o  sits 
on  the  corner  of  the  divan,  and  covers  herself 
with  her  shawl.'\ 

CONSUELO 

Hello,  He!  Come  and  lie  down  at  my  feet,  and  tell 
me  something  cheerful.  .  .  .  You  know,  when  you 
paint  the  laughter  on  your  face,  you  are  very  good 
looking,  but  now,  too,  you  are  very,  very  nice.  Come 
on,  He,  why  don't  you  lie  down? 

He 

Consuelo!     Are  you  going  to  marry  the  Baron? 

CoNSUELO 

[Indifferently']  :  It  seems  so.  Tlie  Baron  is  hang- 
ing by  a  thread !  He,  there  is  one  little  sandwich  left. 
Eat  it. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  129 

He 

Thank  you,  my  queen.  [Eats.l  ^^^  do  you  re- 
member my  prediction? 

CONSUELO 

What  prediction?  How  quickly  you  swallow!  Does 
it  taste  good? 

He 
Very  good.    That  if  you  marry  the  Baron,  you    .    .    . 

CONSUELO 

Oh,  that's  what  you're  talking  about.  .  .  .  But 
you  were  making  fun. 

He 

Nobody  can  tell,  my  Queen.  Sometimes  one  makes 
fun,  and  suddenly  it  turns  out  to  be  true;  the  stars 
never  talk  in  vain.  If  sometimes  it  is  difficult  for  a 
human  being  to  open  his  mouth  and  to  say  a  word, 
how  difficult  it  must  be  for  a  star.     Think  of  it. 

CONSUELO 

[Laughing'\  :  I  should  say.  Such  a  mouth  !  \^Makes  a 
tiny  mouth.^ 


130  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

No,  my  dear  little  girl,  were  I  in  your  place,  I 
would  think  it  over.  And  suppose  suddenly  you 
should  die?     Don't  marry  the  Baron,  Consuelo! 

CONSUELO 

{^Thinking^  :     And  what  is — death? 

He 

I  do  not  know,  my  Queen.  Nobody  knows.  Like 
love!  Nobody  knows.  But  your  little  hands  will  be- 
come cold,  and  your  dear  little  eyes  will  be  closed. 
You  will  be  away  from  here.  And  the  music  will  play 
without  you,  and  without  you  the  crazy  Bezano  will 
be  galloping,  and  Tilly  and  Polly  will  be  playing  on 
their  pipes  without  you:  tilly-polly,  tilly-polly  .  .  . 
tilly-tilly,  polly-polly     .     .     . 

Consuelo 

Please  don't,  He  darling I  am  so  sad,  any- 
way .  .  .  tilly-tilly,  polly-polly  .  .  .  [^Silence. 
HE  looks  at  Consuelo.] 

He 

You  were  crjang,  my  little  Consuelo? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  131 

CONSUELO 

Yes,  a  little.  Alfred  made  me  nervous.  But  tell 
me,  is  it  my  fault  that  I  can't  do  anything  to-day.? 
I  tried  to,  but  I  couldn't. 

He 

Why? 

CoNSUELO 

Ah,  I  don't  know.  There  is  something  here. 
[Presses  her  hand  against  her  heart.l  I  don't  know. 
He,  I  must  be  sick.  What  is  sickness?  Does  it  hurt 
very  much? 

He 

It  is  not  sickness.  It  is  the  charm  of  the  far  off 
stars,  Consuelo.  It  is  the  voice  of  your  fate,  my  little 
Queen. 

Consuelo 

Don't  talk  nonsense,  please.  What  should  the  stars 
care  about  me  ?  I  am  so  small.  Nonsense,  He  !  Tell 
me  rather  another  tale  which  you  know:  about  the 
blue  sea  and  those  gods,  you  know  .  .  .  who  are 
so  beautiful.     Did  they  all  die? 


]32  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

They    are   all   alive,   but    they   hide    themselves,   my 
goddess. 

CONSUELO 

In  the  woods  or  mountains?  Can  one  come  across 
them?  Ah,  imagine  He  ...  I  come  across  a 
god,  and  he  suddenly  takes  a  look  at  me !  I'd  run 
away.  [Laughs-'^  This  morning  when  I  went  without 
breakfast,  I  became  so  sad,  so  disgusted,  and  I 
thought :  if  a  god  should  come,  and  give  me  something 
to  eat!  And  as  I  thought  it,  I  suddenly  heard,  hon- 
estly it's  true,  I  heard :  "Consuelo,  somebody's  calling 
you."      lAngrily.'\      Don't   you   dare  laugh! 

He 

Am  I  laughing? 

Consuelo 

Honestly,  it's  true.  Ah,  He,  but  he  didn't  come. 
He  only  called  me  and  disappeared,  and  how  can  you 
find  him?  It  hurt  me  so  much,  and  hurts  even  now. 
Why  did  you  remind  me  of  my  childhood?  I'd  for- 
gotten it  entirely.  There  was  the  sea  .  .  .  and  some- 
thing .    .    .  many,  many  [closes  Tier  eyes,  smiling.l 

He 

Remember,  Consueto. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  133 

CONSUELO 

No.  \_Opening  her  eyes^  I  forget  everything 
about  it.  [^Looks  around  the  room.^  He,  do  you  see 
what  a  poster  they  made  for  my  benefit  performance.'' 
It's  Father's  idea.  Tlie  Baron  hked  it.  [HE  laughs. 
Silence. 1 

He 

\_Slowly']  Consuelo,  my  Queen !  Don't  go  to  the 
Baror  to-day. 

Consuelo 
Why.?     [After  a  silence.]     How  fresh  you  are,  He. 

He 
[Lowering  his  head,  slowly]  :     I  don't  want  it. 

Consuelo 
[Getting  up]:     What.?     You  don't  want  it? 

He 

[Bowing  his  head  still  lower]  :  I  do  not  want  you 
to  marry  the  Baron  [Imploring.]  I  ...  I  shall 
not  allow  it  ...  I  beg  you ! 

Consuelo 

Whom,  then,  would  you   ask  me  to   marry.?      You, 
perhaps,  you  fool.?      [With  a  rancorous  laugh]      Are 


184  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

you  crazy,  my  darling?  "I  shall  not  allow."  He! 
He  will  not  allow  me!  But  it  is  unbearable!  What 
business  is  it  of  yours?  [Walking  up  and  down  the 
room,  looks  over  her  shoulder  at  HE,  with  anger."] 
Some  fool  clown,  whom  they  can  kick  out  of  here 
any  minute.  You  make  me  sick  with  your  stupid 
tales.  Or  you  like  slaps  so  much.  Fool,  you  couldn't 
invent  anything  better  than  a  slap ! 

He 

\_Without  lifting  his  liead']  :  Forgive  me,  my 
Queen. 

CONSUELO 

He  is  glad  when  they  laugh  at  him.  Some  god! 
No,  I  shan't  forgive.  I  know  you.  [Makes  same 
gesture  as  Mancini.]  You  have  something  there! 
Laughs  ...  so  nicely  .  .  .  plays,  plays,  and  then 
suddenly — ^hop!  Obey  him!  No,  darhng,  I  am  not 
thai:  kind!  Carry  my  train,  that  is  your  business — 
fool! 

He 

I  shall  carry  your  train,  my  Queen.  Forgive  me. 
Give  me  back  the  image  of  my  beautiful,  piteous 
goddess. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  135 

CONSUELO 

{^Quieting  dottml  :     You*re  playing  again? 

He 
I  am. 

CoNSUELO 

[Laughing^  :     You  see !     {^Sits  do'wn.'\     Foolish  He. 

He 

I  see  everything,  my  Queen.  I  see  how  beautiful 
you  are,  and  how  low  under  your  feet  your  poor 
court  fool  is  lying.  Somewhere  in  the  abyss  his 
Httle  bells  are  ringing.  He  kneels  before  you  and 
prays ;  forgive  and  pity  him,  my  divine  one.  He  was 
too  impudent;  he  played  so  cheerfully  that  he  went 
too  far  and  lost  his  tiny  little  mind,  the  last  bit  of 
understanding  he  had  saved  up.     Forgive  me! 

CoNSUELO 

All  right.  I  forgive  you.  \^Laughs.l^  And  now 
will  you  allow  me  to  marry  the  Baron.'' 

He 
]^Also  laughing'\  :     And  nevertheless  I  will  not  allow 
it.       But  what  does  a  queen  care  about  the  permission 
of  her  enamoured   fool? 


136  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

Get  up.  You  are  forgiven.  And  do  you  know 
why?  You  think  because  of  your  words?  You  are 
a  cunning  beast.  He  !  No,  because  of  the  sandwiches. 
That's  why.  You  were  so  lovely,  you  panted  so 
when  you  broug'ht  them.  Poor  darling  He.  From 
to-morrow  you  may  be  at  my  feet  again.  And  as 
soon  as  I  whistle,  "tuwhooo" 

He 

I  shall  instantly  lie  down  at  thy  feet,  Consuelo. 
It  is  settled!  But  all  my  Httle  bells  fell  off  to-day 
and 

l^Bezano    appears,    confused. J 

Consuelo 
Alfred !    You  came  for  me  ? 

Bezano 
Yes.     Will  you  work  some  moi*e,  Consuelo? 

Consuelo 

Certainly.  As  much  as  you  want.  But  I  thought, 
Alfred,  you  were  mad  at  me?  I  shan't  dawdle  any 
more. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  137 

Bezano 

No.  You  didn't  dawdle.  Don't  be  offended,  be- 
cause I  3^elled  so  much.  You  know  when  one  has  to 
teach,  and 

CONSUELO 

My  goodness,  do  you  think  I  don't  understand.'' 
You  are  too  nice,  unbearably  nice,  to  like  teaching 
such  a  fool  as  me.  Do  you  think  I  don't  understand.'' 
Come  on ! 

Bezano 

Come  on !  Hello,  He  !  I  haven't  seen  you  yet 
to-day.      How  are  you.'' 

He 

How    are    you,    Bezano.''      Wait,    wait    a    minute — 
stay    here    a    minute,    both    of    you — that    way.    Yes ! 
[CoNSUELo   and  Bezano  stand  side  hy  side,   the 
jockey  scowling,   Consuelo   laughing  and  flush- 
ing.'] 

CoNSUELO 

Like  Adam  and  Eve.?  How  foohsh  you  are!  Ter- 
ribly. [^She  runs  away.]  I  shall  only  change  my 
slippers,  Alfred. 


138  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Consuelo!  And  how  about  Father  and  the  Baron? 
They  will  come  soon,  to  take  you  with  them. 

Consuelo 

Let  them  come.  They  can  wait.  Not  very  im- 
portant people.  [Runs  away.  Bezano  hesitatingly 
follows  her.Ji 

He 

Stay  here  for  a  while,  Bezano.     Sit  down. 

Bezano 

What  more  do  you  want?  I  have  no  time  for  your 
nonsense. 

He 

You  can  remain  standing  if  you  want.  Bezano — 
you  love  her?     [Silence.'l 

Bezano 

I  shall  allow  nobody  to  interfere  with  my  affairs. 
You  allow  yourself  too  many  liberties,  He.  I  don't 
know  you.  You  came  from  the  street,  and  why 
should  I  trust  you? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  139 

He 

But  you  know  the  Baron?  Listen.  It  is  painful 
for  me  to  pronounce  these  words :  she  loves  you.  Save 
her  from  the  spider!  Or  are  you  blind,  and  don't 
see  the  web,  which  is  woven  in  every  dark  corner. 
Get  out  of  the  vicious  circle  in  which  you  are  turn- 
ing around,  like  a  blind  man.  Take  her  away,  steal 
her,  do  what  you  want  .  .  .  kill  her  even,  and  take 
her  to  the  heavens  or  to  the  devil!  But  don't  give 
her  to  this  man !  He  is  a  defiler  of  love.  And  if 
you  are  timid,  if  you  are  afraid  to  lift  your  hand 
against  her — kill  the  Baron!     Kill! 

Bezano 

[With  a  smile']  :  And  who  will  kill  the  others,  to 
come.'' 

He 
She  loves  you. 

Bezano 
Did  she  tell  you  that  herself.'' 

He 

What  a  petty,  what  a  stupid,  what  a  human  pride ! 
But   you    are    a    little    god!      A   god,    youth!      Wliy 


140  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

don't  you  want  to  believe  me?  Or  does  the  street, 
from  which  I  have  come,  bother  you?  But  look, 
look  yourself.  Look  in  my  eyes,  do  such  eyes  lie? 
Yes,  my  face  is  ugly,  I  make  faces  and  grimaces,  I 
am  surrounded  by  laughter,  but  don't  you  see  the 
god  behind  all  this,  a  god,  like  you?  Look,  look  at 
me!  [Bezano  bursts  out  laughing.^  What  are  you 
laughing  at,  youth? 

Bezano 

You  look  now  as  you  did  that  evening  in  the 
ring.  You  remember?  When  you  were  a  great 
man,  and  they  sent  for  you  from  the  Academy,  and 
suddenly — Hup !      He    Who    Gets    Slapped ! 

He 

[Laughing  the  same  zvay^  :  Yes,  yes,  you  are  right, 
Bezano.  There  is  a  resemblance.  [With  a  strained 
expression,  taking  a  posel  "It  seems  to  me  they  sent 
for  me  from  the  Academy!" 

Bezano 

[Displeasedl  '•  ^^^  ^  don't  like  this  play.  You 
can  present  your  face  for  slaps  if  you  want  to,  but 
don't  dare  to  expose  mine.     [Turns  to  go.^ 

He 

Bezano ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  141 

Bezano 

[Turning    round'\  :      And    never    let    me    hear    any 
more  about  Consuelo,  and  don't  dare  to  tell  me  again 
that  I  am  a  god!     It  is  disgusting. 
[Bezano  goes  out  angrily,  striking  his  boot  with  his 
•whip.     HE    is    alone.     Wrathfully,    with    a    tor- 
tured  expression,   he   makes   a  step   towards   the 
jockey,   then  stops,   with  soundless  laughter,   his 
head  thrown  backwards.     The  Baron  and  Man- 
ciNi  -find  him  in  this  position,  when  they  enter. 

Mancini 

[Laughing'\  :  What  a  cheerful  chap  you  are,  He  ! 
You  laugh  when  you  are  alone.  [HE  laughs  aloud.'\ 
Stop  it  fool!     How  can  you  stand  it? 


H 


E 


[Bowing  low,  with  a  large  gesture'\  :  How  do 
you  do,  Baron?  My  humblest  respects  to  you.  Count. 
I  beg  your  pardon.  Count,  but  you  found  the  clown  at 
work.  These  are,  so  to  speak.  Baron,  his  every-day 
pleasures. 

Mancini 

[Lifting  his  eyebrows]  :  Tsss.  But  you  are  a 
clever  man.  He.  I  shall  ask  Papa  Briquet  to  give 
you  a  benefit  performance.      Shall  I,   He? 


142  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

Please  do  me  the   favour,  Count. 

Mancini 

Don't  overdo.  Be  more  simple,  He.  [^Laughs.^ 
But  how  many  slaps  wiU  you  get  at  your  benefit  per- 
formance, when  even  on  weekdays  they  ring  you  like 
a  gong!     A  funny  profession,  isn't  it,  Baron? 

Baron 
Very  strange.     But  where  is  the  Countess? 

Mancini 

Yes,  yes.  I  shall  go  for  her  at  once.  Dear  child, 
she  is  so  absorbed  in  her  benefit  performance  and  her 
work.     They  call  this  jumping  work,  Baron. 

Baron 

I  can  wait  a  little.  [Sits  down,  with  his  silk  hat 
on  his  head.^ 

Mancini 

But  why?  I  shall  hurry  her  up.  I  shall  be  back 
at  once.  And  you.  He,  be  a  nice  host,  and  entertain 
our  dear  guest.  You  will  not  be  bored  in  his  com- 
pany. Baron. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  143 

[^He  goes  out.  HE  strides  about  the  stage,  smiling 
and  glancing  from  time  to  time  at  the  Baron. 
The  latter  sits  with  his  legs  spread  apart  and 
his  chin  on  the  top  of  his  cane.  The  silk  hat 
remains  on  his  head.      He  is  silent. 1 

He 

In  what  way  would  you  like  me  to  entertain  youj 
Baron  ? 

Baron 
In  no  way!     I  don't  like  clowns. 

He 

Nor  I  Barons. 
[Silence.  HE  puts  on  his  derby  hat,  takes  a  chair 
with  a  large  gesture,  and  puts  it  down  heavily, 
in  front  of  the  Baron.  HE  sits  astride  it, 
imitating  the  pose  of  the  Baron,  and  looks  him 
in  the  eyes.      Silence. '\ 

He 

Can   you  be   silent   very  long? 

Baron 
Very  long. 


144  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

[Taps  on  the  floor  with  his  foot'[  :    And  can  you 
wait  very  long? 

Baron 
Very  long. 

He 

Until  you  get  it? 

Baron 
Until  I  get  it.      And  you.? 

He 

I  too. 
[Both  look  at  each  other,  silently,   their  heads  close 
together.      From   the  ring  one  hears  the  strains 
of  the  Tango.] 

Curtain 


ACT  IV 

Music  in  the  ring.  More  disorder  in  the  room  than 
usual.  All  kinds  of  actors^  costumes  hanging 
on  pegs  and  lying  in  the  corners.  On  the 
table  a  bouquet  of  fiery-red  roses,  put  there  by 
some  careless  hand.  At  the  entrance,  near  the 
arch,  three  bareback  riders  are  smoking  and 
chattering;  they  are  all  minor  actors.  All  part 
their  hair  the  same  way;  two  wear  small  mous- 
taches; the  third  one  is  clean-shaven  with  a  face 
like  a  bull-dog. 

The    Clean-Shaven    One 

Go  on,  Henry!  Ten  thousand  francs!  It's  too 
much  even  for  the  Baron. 

The  Second 
How  much  are  roses  now? 

The  Shaven 

I  don't  know.  In  winter  they  are  certainly  more 
expensive,  but  still  Henry  talks  nonsense.  Ten 
thousand! 

145 


146  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

The  Second 

The  Baron  has  his  own  hothouse.  They  don't  cost 
him  anything. 

Henry 

[Throwing  away  his  cigar,  which  has  burned  the 
tips  of  his  fingers'\  :  No,  Grab,  you're  silly.  There's 
a  whole  car-load  full!  One  can  smell  the  roses  a  mile 
away.     They're  to  cover  the  entire  arena. 

The  Shaven 

Only  the  ring. 

Henry 

It's  all  the  same.  In  order  to  cover  the  ring,  you 
must  have  thousands  and  thousands  of  roses.  Youll 
see  what  it  looks  like,  when  they've  covered  everything 
like  a  carpet.  He  ordered  them  to  make  it  like  a 
carpet!      Do  you  see.  Grab.'' 

The  Second 
What  a  Baron's  craze!     Isn't  it  time  yet.^ 

Henry 

No,  we  have  time  enough.  I  rather  like  it:  a 
fiery-red  tango   on  a  fiery-red  cover  of  winter  roses! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  147 

The  Shaven 
Consuelo  will  be  galloping  on  roses.     And  Bezano? 

The  Second 
And  Bezano  on  thorns.    \^Smiles.^ 

The  Shaven 

That  youngster  has  no  self-respect.  I'd  have  re- 
fused. 

Henry 

But  it  is  his  job.  He's  got  to  do  it.  [Laughs. 1^ 
Talk  to  him  about  self-respect.  He's  as  angry  and 
proud  as  a  little  Satan. 

The  Second 

No,  you  may  say  what  you  like,  it's  an  excellent 
benefit  performance.  It's  a  joy  to  look  at  the  crowd. 
They're  so  excited. 

Henry 

Tss!  [All  throw  away  their  cigars  and  cigarettes, 
like  school  boys  who  are  caught,  and  make  way  for 
ZiNiDA,  who  enters  with  HE.'] 


148  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ZiNIDA 

Wliat  are  you  doing  here,  gentlemen?  Your  place 
is  at  the  entrance. 

Henry 

[With  a  respectful  smile']  :  We  are  here  just  for 
a  minute,  Madame  Zinida.  We  are  going.  What  a 
successful  evening!  And  what  a  glory  for  Papa 
Briquet! 

Zinida 

Yes.  Go,  and  please  don't  leave  your  places. 
[They  go.  Zinida  pulls  a  drawer  out  of  the  desk, 
and  puts  in  some  papers.  She  is  in  her  lion  tamer^s 
costume.']  He,  what  were  you  doing  near  my  lions? 
You  frightened  me. 

He 

Why,  Duchess,  I  merely  wanted  to  hear  what  the 
beasts  were  saying  about  the  benefit  performance. 
They  are  pacing  in  their  cages,  and  growling. 

Zinida 

The  music  makes  them  nervous.  Sit  down,  He. 
An  excellent  evening,  and  I  am  so  glad  that  Con- 
suelo  is  leaving  us.  Have  you  heard  about  the 
Baron's  roses. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  149 

He 

Everybody  is  talking  about  them.  The  Hymeneal 
roses ! 

ZiNIDA 

Here  are  some,  too.  [Pushes  away  the  bouquet.^ 
You  find  them  everywhere.  Yes,  I  am  glad.  She 
is  superfluous  here,  and  disturbs  our  work.  It  is 
a  misfortune  for  a  cast  to  have  in  it  such  a  beautiful 
and  such  an    .    .    .    accessible  girl. 

He 

But  it  is  an  honest   marriage,   Duchess,  is  it  not? 

ZiNIDA 

I  don't  care  what  it  is. 

He 

Spiders,  too  need  an  improvement  in  their  breed! 
Can't  you  imagine,  Zinida,  what  charming  little 
spiders  this  couple  will  create!  They  will  have  the 
face  of  their  mother,  Consuelo,  and  the  stomach  of 
their  father,  the  Baron,  and  thus  could  be  an  or- 
nament  for   any    circus-ring. 

Zinida 
You  are    malicious    to-day,    He.     You    are    morose. 


160  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Hfi 

I  laugh. 

ZlNIDA 

You  do,  but  without  joy.  Why  are  you  without 
make-up  ? 

He 

I  am  in  the  third  act.  I  have  time.  And  how 
does  Bezano  feel  about  this  evening.     Is  he  glad.'* 

ZiNIDA 

I  didn^t  talk  to  Bezano.  You  know  what  I  think, 
my  friend.'*    You,  too,  are  superfluous  here.   [^Silence.^ 

He 

How  do  you  want  me  to  take  that,  Zinida? 

ZiNIDA 

Just  as  I  said.  In  fact,  Consuelo  sold  herself  for 
nothing.  What  is  the  Baron  worth,  with  his  poor 
millions?  People  say  that  you  are  clever,  too  clever 
perhaps ;  tell  me  then,  for  how  much  could  one  buy 
me? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  151 

He 

[Looking  as  if  he  were  pricing  her'\  :     Only  for  a 
crown. 

ZiNIDA 

A  baron's  crown? 

He 
No,   a  royal  one. 

ZiNIDA 

You  are  far  from  being  stupid.     And  you  guessed 
that   Consuelo   is   not   Mancini's   daughter? 

He 

[Startled]:     What!     And  she  knows  it? 

ZiNIDA 

Hardly.  Why  should  she  know  it?  Yes,  she  is 
a  girl  from  Corsica  whose  parents  are  unknown.  He 
preferred  to  use  her  for  business  rather  than  .  .  . 
But  according  to  the  law,  she  is  his  daughter,  Coun- 
tess Veronica  Mancini. 

He 

It  is  nice,  to  have  everything  done  according  to 
law,  isn't  it,  Zinida?     But  it  is  curious  there  is  more 


152  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

blue  blood  in  her  than  in  this  Mancini.  One  would 
say  that  it  was  she  who  found  him  on  the  street,  and 
made  him  a  count  and  her  father.  Count  Mancini! 
[^Laughs. Ji 

ZiNIDA 

Yes,  jou   are  gloomy,  He.      I   changed  my  mind, 
you'd  better  stay. 

He 

Will   I   not    be   superfluous? 

ZiNIDA 

When  she  is  gone,  you  will  not.  Oh!  You  don't 
know  yet,  how  nice  it  is  to  be  with  us.  What  a  rest 
for  the  body  and  mind.  I  understand  you.  I  am 
clever,  too.  Like  you,  I  brought  with  me  from  out 
there  my  inclination  for  chains,  and  for  a  long  time 
I  chained  myself  to  whatever  I  could,  in  order  to  feel 
finn. 

He 

Bezano? 

ZlNTDA 

Bezano  and  others;  there  were  many,  there  will  be 
many  more.    My  red  Hon,  with  whom  I  am  desperately 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  163 

in  love,  is  still  more  terrible  than  Bezano.  But  it  is 
all  nonsense ;  old  habits,  which  we  are  sorry  to  let 
go.  like  old  servants  who  steal  things.  Leave  Con- 
suelo  alone.     She  has  her  own  way. 

He 

Automobiles   and   diamonds  ? 

ZiNIDA 

When  did  you  see  a  beauty  clad  in  simple  cotton.? 
If  this  one  does  not  buy  her,  another  will.  They  buy 
off  everything  that  is  beautiful.  Yes,  I  know.  For 
the  first  ten  years  she  will  be  a  sad  beauty,  who  will 
attract  the  eyes  of  the  poor  man  on  the  side-walk : 
afterward  she  will  begin  to  paint  a  little  around  her 
eyes  and  smile,  and  then  will  take 

He 

Her  chauffeur  or  butler  as  a  lover?  You're  not 
guessing  badly,  Zinida! 

ZiNIDA 

Am  I  not  right.?  I  don't  want  to  intrude  on 
your  confidence,  but  to-day  I  am  sorry  for  you,  He. 
What  can  you  do  against  Fate.?  Don't  be  offended, 
my  friend,  by  the  words  of  a  woman.    I  like  you ;  you 


154  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

are    not    beautiful,    nor   young,    nor    rich,    and  your 
place  is 

He 

On  the  side-walk,  from  which  one  looks  at  the 
beauties.      [Laughs.^     And  if  I  don't  want  to? 

ZiNIDA 

What  does  it  matter,  your  "want"  or  "don't  want"? 
I  am  sorry  for  you,  my  poor  friend,  but  if  you  are 
a  strong  man,  and  I  think  you  are,  then  there  is 
only  one  way  for  you.     To  forget. 

He 

You  think  that  that's  being  strong?  And  you  are 
saying  this,  you,  Queen  Zinida,  who  want  to  awaken 
the  feeling  of  love,  even  in  the  heart  of  a  lion?  For 
one  second  of  an  illusory  possession,  you  are  ready  to 
pay  with  your  life,  and  still  you  advise  me  to  forget! 
Give  me  your  strong  hand,  my  beautiful  lady ;  see 
how  much  strength  there  is  in  this  pressure,  and  don't 
pity  me. 

[Enter  Briquet  and  Mancini.  The  latter  is  re- 
served, and  self -consciously/  imposing.  He  has  a 
new  suit,  hut  the  same  cane,  and  the  same  noise- 
less smile  of  a  satyr. '\ 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  165 

ZiNIDA 

'[Whispering^  :     Will  you  stay? 

He 

Yes.     I  shan't  go  away. 

Mancini 

How  are  you,  my  dear?  But  you  are  dazzling,  my 
dear!  I  swear  you  are  marvellous!  Your  lion  would 
be  an  ass,  if  he  did  not  kiss  your  hand,  as  I  do.  .  .  . 
[Kisses  her  hand.'\ 

ZiNIDA 

May  I  congratulate  you,  Count? 

Mancini 
Yes,  merci.     [To  HE^     How  are  you,  my  dear? 

He 

Good  evening.  Count! 

Briquet 

Zinida,  the  Count  wants  to  pay  immediately  for 
the  breach  of  contract  with  Consuelo  .  .  .  the  Count- 
ess's contract.  Don't  you  remember,  Mother,  how 
much  it  is? 


156  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

ZiNIDA 

I'll  look  it  up,  Papa. 

Mancini 

Yes,    please.      Consuelo    will    not    return    here    any 
more.     We  leave  to-morrow. 

[ZiNiDA  and  Briquet  search  among  the  papers.  HE 
takes  Mancini  roughly  by  the  elbow,  and  draws 
him    aside.l 

He 

[/w  a  low  voicel :     How  are  your  girls,  Mancini? 

Mancini 

What  girls.?  What  is  this,  stupidity  or  blackmail? 
Look   out,   sir,   be   careful,   the   policeman   is   not   far. 

He 

You  are  much  too  severe,  Mancini.  I  assumed, 
that  since  we  are  tete-d-tete   .    .    . 

Mancini 

But  tell  me,  what  kind  of  tete-d-tete  is  possible,  be- 
tween a  clown  and  me?  [Laughs.]  You  are  stupid. 
He.  You  should  say  w^hat  you  want,  and  not  ask 
questions ! 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  15', 

Briquet 
Three  thousand  francs,  Count. 

Mancini 

Is  that   all?     For  Consuelo?     All  right.      I'll  tell 
the  Baron. 


ZiNIDA 


You  took- 


Briquet 
Don't,  Mother,   don't. 

ZiNIDA 

Count,  you  drew  in  advance,  I  have  it  written  down, 
eighty  francs  and  twenty  centimes.  Will  you  pay  this 
money,  too.'' 

Mancini 

Certainly,  certainly.  You  will  get  three  thousand 
and  one  hundred.  ILaughing^  Twenty  centimes! 
I  never  thought  I  could  be  so  accurate.  [Seriouslyl^ 
Yes,  my  friends.  My  daughter  Consuelo — the  Count- 
ess— and  the  Baron,  expressed  their  desire  to  bid 
farewell  to  the  whole  cast. 


158  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

He 

The  Baron,  too? 

Mancini 

Yes,  Auguste,  too.  They  want  to  do  it  during  the 
intermission.  Therefore,  I  ask  you  to  gather  here  .  . 
the  more  decent  ones  .  .  .  but  please  don't  make  it 
too  crowded !  He,  will  you,  sir,  be  kind  enough  to 
run  into  the  buffet  and  tell  them  to  bring  right  away 
a  basket  of  champagne,  bottles  and  glasses — you 
understand,'' 

He 

Yes,  Count. 

Mancini 

Wait  a  minute,  what's  the  hurry — what  is  this,  a 
new  costume.''  You  are  all  burning  like  the  devils  in 
hell! 

He 

You  do  me  too  much  honour,  Count,  I  am  not  a 
devil.  I  am  merely  a  poor  sinner  who  the  devils  are 
frying  a  little.     [He  goes  out,  homing  like  a  clozvn.l 

Mancini 
A  gifted  chap,  but  too  cunning. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  169 

Briquet 

It's  the  Tango  colour,  in  honour  of  your  daughter, 
Count.  He  needs  it  for  a  new  stunt,  which  he  doesn't 
want  to  tell  in  advance.  Don't  you  want  to  sit 
down.  Count.? 

Mancini 

Auguste  is  waiting  for  me,  but  .  .  .  it's  all  right. 
l^Takes  a  seat.^  Nevertheless  I  am  sorry  to  leave  you, 
my  friend.  High  society,  certainly,  prerogatives  of 
the  title,  castles  of  exalted  noblemen,  but  where  could 
I  find  such  freedom,  and  .  .  .  such  simplicity.  .  .  . 
And  besides,  these  announcements,  these  burning  pos- 
ters, which  take  your  breath  in  the  morning,  they  had 
something  which  summoned,  wliich  encouraged.  .  .  . 
There,  my  friends,  I  shall  become  old. 

Briquet 

But  pleasures  of  a  higher  kind,  Count.     Why  are 
you  silent,  Zinida? 

ZiNIDA 

I'm  listening. 

Mancini 
By  the  way,  my  dear,  how  do  you  like  my  suit? 


160  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

You  have  wonderful  taste.     [Spreads  out  his  lace  tie 
and  lace  cuffs.'\ 

ZiNIDA 

I  like  it.  You  look  like  a  nobleman  of  the  courts 
of  long  ago. 

Mancini 

Yes.''  But  don't  you  think  it  is  too  conspicuous.'' 
Who  wears  lace  and  satin  now.?  This  dirty  democracy 
will  soon  make  us  dress  ourselves  in  sack  cloth.  \^With 
a  sighl  Auguste  told  me  that  this  jabot  was  out  of 
place. 

ZiNIDA 

The  Baron  is  too  severe. 

Mancini 

Yes,  but  it  seems  to  me  he  is  right.  I  am  a  little 
infected  with  your  fancy.  [HE  returns.  Two 
waiters  follow  him,  carrying  a  basket  of  champagne 
and  glasses.      They  prepare  everything  on  the  table.] 

Mancini 

Ah !  merci,  He.  But,  please,  none  of  this  bourgeoise 
exploding  of  corks;  be  slower  and  more  modest.  Send 
the  bill  to  Baron  Regnard.  Then,  we  will  be  here, 
Briquet.      I  must  go. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  161 

ZiNIDA 

l^Looks  at  her  watch^  :  Yes,  the  act  is  going  to 
end  soon. 

Mancini 
Heavens!     [^Disappears  in  a  hwrry.^ 

Briquet 
The  devil  take  him! 

ZiNIDA 

[Pointing  to  the  waiter^  :     Not  so  loud,  Louis ! 

Briquet 

No !  The  devil  take  him !  And  why  couldn't  you 
help  me.  Mother?  You  left  me  alone  to  talk  to  him. 
High  Society!  High  pleasures!  Swindler!  [HE 
and  ZiNiDA  laugh.      The  waiters  smile.^ 

Briquet 

[To  the  waiters']  :  What  are  you  laughing  about? 
You  can  go.  We  will  help  ourselves.  Whiskey  and 
soda,  Jean  !  [In  a  low  and  angry  voice]  Champagne ! 
[Enter  Jackson^  in  his  clown's  costume.] 


162  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Jackson 

A  whiskey  and  soda  for  me,  too!  At  least  I  hear 
some  laughter  here.  Those  idiots  have  simply  for- 
gotten how  to  laugh.     My  sun  was  rising  and  setting 

and  crawling  all  over  the   ring and  not   a  smile! 

Look  at  my  bottom,  shines  like  a  mirror!  [^Tums 
around  quickly.^  Beg  your  pardon,  Zinida.  And 
you  don't  look  badly  to-night,  He.  Look  out  for 
your  cheeks.     I  hate  beauties. 

Briquet 
A  benefit  performance  crowd! 

Jackson 

\Looliing  in  a  hand  mirror,  correcting  his  make- 
up^ :  In  the  orchestra  there  are  some  Barons  and 
Egyptian  mummies.  I  got  a  belly-ache  from  fright. 
I  am  an  honest  clown.  I  can't  stand  it  when  they 
look  at  me  as  if  I  had  stolen  a  handkerchief.  He, 
please  give  them  a  good  many  slaps  to-night. 

He 
Be  quiet,  Jim.     I  shall  avenge  you.     [^He  goes  out.^ 

Zinida 
And  how  is  Bezano? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  163 

Jackson 

{^Grumblingl :  Bezano !  A  crazy  success.  But  he 
is  crazy,  he  will  break  his  neck  to-morrow.  Why  does 
he  run  such  a  risk?  Or  perhaps  he  has  wings,  like 
a  god?  Devil  take  it.  It's  disgusting  to  look  at  him. 
It's  not  work  any  more. 

Briquet 

You  are  right,  Jim!  It  is  not  work  any  more.  To 
your  health,   old  comrade,   Jackson. 

Jackson 
To  yours,  Louis. 

Briquet 

It  is  not  work  any  more,  since  these  Barons  came 
here!  Do  you  hear?  Tliey  are  laughing.  But  I 
am  indignant,  I  am  indignant,  Jim!  What  do  they 
want  here,  these  Barons?  Let  them  steal  hens  in 
other  hen  roosts,  and  leave  us  in  peace.  Ah!  Had 
I  been  Secretary  of  the  Interior,  I  should  have  made 
an  iron   fence  between  us  and  those  people. 

Jackson 

I  am  very  sorry  myself  for  our  dear  little  Oon- 
suelo      I  don't  krfow  why,  but  it  seems  to  me  that  we 


164  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

all  look  to-day  more  like  swindlers  than  honest  art- 
ists.    Don't  you  think  so,  Zinida? 

ZiNIDA 

Everybody  does  w^hat  he  wants.  It's  Consuelo's 
business  and  her  father's. 

Briquet 

No,  Mother,  that's  not  true!  Not  everybody  does 
what  he  wants,  but  it  turns  out  this  way  .  .  .  devil 
knows  why. 

[Enter  Angelica  and  Thomas,  an  athlete.^ 

Angelica 
Is  this  where  we're  going  to  have  champagne.'' 

Briquet 
And  you're  glad   already .'' 

Thomas 
There  it  is!     Oh,  oh,  what  a  lot! 

Angelica 
The  Count  told  me  to  come  here.     I  met  him. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  165 

Briquet 

\_Angrily^  :  All  right,  if  he  said  so,  but  there  is 
no  reason  to  enjoy  it.  Look  out,  Angelica,  you  will 
have  a  bad  end.  I  see  you  through  and  through. 
How  does   she   work,   Tliomas.'' 

Thomas 
Very  well. 

Angelica 

[In  a  low  voice'\ :  How  angry  Papa  Briquet  is 
to-night. 

[Enter  HE,  Tilly,  Polly,  and  other  actors,  all  in 
their  costumes.^ 

Tilly 
Do  you  really  want  champagne.? 

Polly 
I  don't  want  it  at  all.     Do  you,  Tilly? 

Tilly 

And  I  don't  want  it.  He,  did  you  see  how  the 
Count  walks.?  [Walks,  imitating  Mancini.  Laugh- 
ter.'\ 


166  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Polly 

Let  me  be  the  Baron.     Take  my  arm.     Look  out, 
ass,  you  stepped  on  my  beloved  family  tree! 

Angelica 

It'll  soon  be   finished.      Consuelo   is  galloping   now. 
It  is  her  waltz.     What  a  success  she  is  having! 

\_All  listen  to  the  waltz.  Tilly  and  Polly  are 
singing  it  softly.^ 

Angelica 

She  is  so  beautiful!     Are  those  her  flowers? 

[They  listen.  Suddenly,  a  crash  as  if  a  broken  wall 
were  tumbling  down'  applause,  shouting,  scream- 
ing; much  motion  on  the  stage.  The  actors  are 
pouring  champagne.  New  ones  come  in,  talk- 
ing and  laughing.  When  they  notice  the  direct- 
or and  the  champagne,  they  become  quiet  and 
modest. 1 

Voices 

They're  coming !  What  a  success !  I  should  say, 
since  all  the  orchestra  seats  .  .  .  And  what  will  it 
be  when  the}'  see  the  Tango?  Don't  be  envious, 
Alphonse. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  167 

Briquet 

Silence!     Not  so  much  noise,  please!     Zinida,  look 

here,  don't  be  so  quiet !     High  society ! 

[Enter  Consuelo,  on  the  arm  of  the  Baron  who  is 
stiff  and  erect.  She  is  happy.  Mancini,  seri- 
ous and  happy.  Behind  them,  riders,  actors, 
actresses.  The  Baron  has  in  his  button-hole  a 
fiery-red  rose.  All  applaud  and  cry-  "Bravo, 
bravo !"^ 

Consuelo 

Friends  .  .  .  my  dears  .  .  .  Father,  I  can't 
.  .  .  [Throws  herself  into  Mancini's  arms,  and 
hides  her  face  on  his  shoulders.  Mancini  looks  with 
a  smile  over  her  head  at  the  Baron.  Baron  smiles 
slightly,  but  remains  earnest  and  motionless.  A  new 
burst  of  applause. "l 

Briquet 
Enough,  children!     Enough! 

Mancini 

Calm  yourself,  calm  yourself,  my  child.  How  they 
all  love  you!  [Taking  a  step  forward]  Ladies  and 
gentlemen,  Baron  Regnard  did  me  the  honour  yes- 
terday,   to    ask    for    the    hand    of    my    daughter,    the 


168  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Countess   Veronica,   whom   you   knew  under  the  name 
of  Consuelo.     Please  take  your  glasses. 

CONSUELO 

No,  I  am  still  Consuelo,  to-night,  and  I  shall  al- 
ways be  Consuelo !  Zinida,  dear !  [^Falls  on  the  neck 
of  Zinida.      Fresh  applause. 'I 

Briquet 

Stop  it !  Silence !  Take  your  glasses.  What  are 
you  standing  here  for?  If  you  came,  then  take  the 
glasses. 

Tilly 

ITrembUngl :      They    are    frightened.      You    take 

yours  first.  Papa,  and  we  will  follow. 

[They  take  the  glasses.  Consuelo  is  near  the 
Baron,  holding  the  sleeve  of  his  dress  coat  rmth 
her  left  hand.  In  her  right  hand,  she  has  a 
glass   of   champagne,    which  spills   overJ\ 

Baron 
You   are  spilling   your   wine,    Consuelo. 

Consuelo 

Ah!     It  is  nothing!     I  am  frightened,  too.     Are 
you.  Father? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  169 

Mancini 
Silly  child.     \^An  awkward  silence.^ 

Briquet 

[^With  a  step  forward^:  Countess!  As  the  direc- 
tor of  the  circus,  who  was  happy  enough  ...  to 
witness  .    .    .   many  times   .    .    .   your  successes  .    .    . 

CONSUELO 

I  do  not  like  this,  Papa  Briquet!  I  am  Consuelo. 
What  do  you  want  to  do  with  me.^*  I  shall  cry.  I 
don't  want  this  "Countess."     Give  me  a  kiss,  Briquet! 

Briquet 

Ah,  Consuelo!     Books  have  killed  you. 

{^Kisses  her  with  tears.  Laughter,  applause.  The 
clowns  cluck  like  hens,  bark,  and  express  their 
emotions  in  many  other  ways.  The  motley 
crowd  of  clowns,  which  is  ready  for  the  panto- 
mime, becomes  more  and  more  lively.  The 
Baron  is  motionless,  there  is  a  wide  space 
around  him;  the  people  touch  glasses  with  him 
in  a  hurry,  and  go  off  to  one  side.  With  Con- 
suelo they  clink  willingly  and  cheerfully.  She 
kisses  the  women.^ 


170  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Jackson 

Silence!  Consuelo,  from  to-day  on,  I  extinguish 
my  sun.  Let  the  dark  night  come  after  you  leave  us. 
You  were  a  nice  comrade  and  worker,  we  all  loved 
you  and  will  love  the  traces  of  your  little  feet  on  the 
sand.      Nothing   remains   to   us ! 

Consuelo 

You  are  so  good,  so  good,  Jim.  So  good  that 
there  is  no  one  better.  And  your  sun  is  better  than 
all  the  other  suns.  I  laughed  so  much  at  it.  Alfred, 
dear,  why  don't  you  come?     I  was  looking  for  you. 

Bezano 

My    congratulations.    Countess. 

Consuelo 
Alfred,  I  am  Consuelo! 

Bezano 

When  you  are  on  horseback ;  but  here — I  con- 
gratulate you.  Countess.  '[He  passes,  only  slightly 
touching  Consuelo's  glass.  Consuelo  still  holds  it. 
Mancini  looks  at  the  Baron  with  a  smile.  The  lat- 
ter is  motionless.l 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  171 

Briquet 

Nonsense,  Bezano.     You   are  making  Consuelo  un- 
happy.    She  is  a  good  comrade. 

Consuelo 

No,   it's   all   right. 

Angelica 

You'll  dance  the  Tango  with  her  to-night,  so  how 
is  she  a  countess  .f* 

Tilly 

May    I    clink    glasses    with    you,    Consuelo?      You 
know    Polly    has    died    of    grief    already,    and    I    am 
going  to  die.     I  have  such  a  weak  stomach. 
[Laughter;  Baron  shows  slight  displeasure.     General 
motion.^ 

Mancini 

Enough,  enough!     The  intermission  is  over. 

Consuelo 

Already?      It's   so   nice   here. 

Briquet 

I   shall   prolong  it.      They   can   wait.      Tell   them, 
Thomas. 


172  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Mancini 

Auguste,  the  musicians  of  the  orchestra,  too,  ask 
permission  to  congratulate  you  and  Consuelo.  Do 
you    .    .    .    ? 

Baron 

Certainly,  certainly. 
lEnter  crowd  of  musicians.      The  conductor,  an  old 
Italian,  lifts  his  glass  solemnly  and  without  look- 
ing at  the  Baron.] 

The  Conductor 

Consuelo!  They  call  you  Countess  here,  but  for 
me  you  were   and  are  Consuelo. 

Consuelo 
Certainly ! 

The  Conductor 

Consuelo !  My  violins  and  bassoons,  my  trumpets 
and  drums,  all  are  drinking  your  health.  Be  happy, 
dear  child,  as  you  were  happy  here.  And  we  shall 
conserve  for  ever  in  our  hearts  the  fair  memory  of 
our  light-winged  fairy,  who  guided  our  bows  so  long. 
I  have  finished !  Give  my  love  to  our  beautiful  Italy, 
Consuelo. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  173 

[Applause,  compliments.  The  musicians  one  after 
anotlier  clink  glasses  and  go  out  into  the  corri- 
dor.     CoNsuELo  is  almost  crying. '\ 

Mancini 

Don't  be  so  sensitive,  my  child,  it  is  indecent.  Had 
I  known  that  you  would  respond  this  way  to  this 
comedy — Auguste,  look  how  touched  this  little  heart 


is! 


Baron 

Calm  yourself,  Consuelo. 

CoNSUELO 

It  is  all  right.     Ah,  Father,  listen! 

[The  musicians  are  playing  the  Tango  in  the  corri- 
dor.    Exclamations.^ 

Mancini 

You  see.     It  is  for  you. 

Consuelo 

They  are  so  nice.  My  Tango!  I  want  to  dance. 
Who  is  going  to  dance  with  me?  [Looks  around, 
seeking  Bezano,  who  turns  away  sadly. 1     Who,  then.'' 


174  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Voices 
Baron!     Let  the  Baron  dance!     Baron! 

Baron 

All  right.  [Takes  Consuelo's  arm,  and  stands  in 
the  centre  of  a  circle  which  is  formed.^  I  do  not 
know  how  to  dance  the  Tango,  but  I  shall  hold  tight- 
Dance,  Consuelo.  \^He  stands  with  legs  spread,  heav- 
ily and  awkwardly,  like  an  iron-moulded  man,  holding 
Consuelo's  arm  firmly  and  seriously.~\ 

Mancini 

l^Applauding^  :  Bravo  I  Bravo !  [Consuelo  makes 
a  few  restless  movements,  and  pulls  h£r  arm  away.^ 

Consuelo 

No,  I  can't  this  way.  How  stupid !  Let  me  go ! 
[^She  goes  to  Zinida  and  embraces  her,  as  if  hiding 
herself.  The  music  still  plays.  The  Baron  goes 
off  quietly  to  the  side.  There  is  an  unfriendly  si- 
lence among  the  cast.      They  shrug  their  shoulders.^ 

Mancini 

[Alonel :  Bravo !  Bravo  I  It  is  charming,  it  is 
exquisite  I 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  175 

Jackson 

Not  entirely,  Count. 
[Tilly  and  Polly  imitate  the  Baron  and  Consuelo 
without  moving  from  their  places.^ 

Tilly 
[Shrieking']  :     Let  me  go ! 

Polly 

No,  I'll  not.  Dance! 
[The  music  stops  abruptly.  General,  too  loud 
laughter;  the  clowns  hark  and  roar.  Papa 
Briquet  gesticulates,  in  order  to  re-establish 
silence.  The  Baron  is  apparently  as  indiffer- 
ent  as  before.] 

Mancini 

Really  these  vagabonds  are  becoming  too  imperti- 
nent. [Shrugging  his  shoulders']  It  smells  of  the 
stable.     You  cannot  help  it,  Auguste! 

Baeon 

Don't  be  upset,  Count. 

He 

[Holding  his  glass,  approaches  the  Baron]  :  Baron 
Will  you  permit  me  to  make  a  toast.'* 


176  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Baron 
Make  it. 

He 
To  your  dance!     \_SUght  laughter  in  the  crozvd.^ 

Baron 
I  don't  dance! 

He 

Then  another  one,  Baron.     Let  us  drink  to  those 
who  know  how  to  wait  longer,  until  they  get  it. 

Baron 

I  do  not  accept  any  toasts  which  I  do  not  under- 
stand.     Say   it    more    simply. 

{Voice  of  a  woman:  "Bravo,  HE!"    Slight  laughter. 

Mancini  sajjs  something  hastily  to  Briquet  ;  the 
latter  spreads  his  arms  in  gesture  of  helplessness. 
Jackson  takes  HE  by  the  arm.^ 

Jackson 
Beat  it,  He!     The  Baron  doesn't  like  jokes. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  177 

He 

But  I  want  to  drink  with  the  Baron.  What  can 
be  simpler?  Simpler?  Baron,  let  us  drink  to  the 
very  small  distance  which  will  always  remain  'twixt 
the  cup  and  the  lip!  \_Spills  his  wine,  and  laughs.'\ 
[The  Baron  turns  his  back  on  him,  indifferently. 
The  music  plays  in  the  ring.      The  bell  rings. ^ 

Briquet 

[Relieved']  :  There !  To  the  ring,  ladies  and  gen- 
tlemen, to  the  ring,  to  the  ring! 

[The  actresses  run  out.      The  crowd  becomes  smaller; 
laughter  and  voices.] 

Mancini 

[Much  excited,  whispers  to  the  Baron]  :  "Auguste, 
Auguste " 

Briquet 

[To  Zinida]  :  Thank  heaven  they're  beginning". 
Ah,  Mother,  I  asked  you  .  .  .  but  you  want  a 
scandal  by  all  means,  and  you  always 

Zinida 

Let  me  alone,  Louis. 
[HE   approaches  Consuelo,   who  is   alone. 1 


178  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

CONSUELO 

He,  deary,  how  are  you?  I  thought  you  didn't 
want  even  to  come  near  me.  [/w  a  low  voice^  Did 
you  notice  Bezano? 

He 

I  was  waiting  for  my  turn,  Queen.  It  was  so 
difficult  to  get  through  the  crowd  to  approach  you. 

CoNSUELO 

Through  the  crowd?  [With  a  sad  smile^  I  am 
quite  alone.     What  do  you  want.  Father? 

Mancini 
Child!    Auguste    .    .    . 

CoNSUELO 

[Pulling    away  her    hand'] :      Let    me  alone !      I'll 

soon   be —    Come  here,   He.      What    did  you   say   to 

him?      They    all  laughed.       I    couldn't  understand. 
What? 

He 

I   joked,    Consuelo. 

CoNSUELO 

Please  don't,  He,  don't  make  him  angry;  he  is  so 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  179 

terrible.  Did  you  see  how  he  pressed  my  arm?  I 
wanted  to  scream.  [With  tears  in  her  eyes]  He 
hurt  me! 

He 

It's  not  too  late  yet.     Refuse  him. 

CONSUELO 

It  is  too  late,  He.     Don't  talk  about  it. 

He 

Do  you  want  it?     I  will  take  you  away  from  here. 

CoNSUELO 

Where  to?  [Laughs.']  Ah,  my  dear  little  silly 
boy,  where  could  you  take  me  to.  All  right,  be  quiet. 
How  pale  you  are!  You  too,  love  me?  Don't  He, 
please  don't!     Why  do  they  all  love  me? 

He 

You  are  so  beautiful! 

CoNSUELO 

No,  no.  It's  not  true.  They  must  not  love  me. 
I  was  still  a  little  cheerful,  but  when  they  began  to 
speak  ...    so  nicely   .    .    .    and  about  Italy   .    .    . 


180  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

and  to  bid  farewell,  as  if  I  were  dying,  I  thought  I 
should  begin  to  cry.  Don't  talk,  don't  talk,  but 
drink  to  .  .  .  my  happiness.  [^With  a  sad  smile'\ 
To  my  happiness,  He.     What  are  you  doing? 

He 

I  am  throwing  away  the  glass  from  which  you 
drank  with  the  others.  I  shall  give  you  another 
one.  Wait  a  minute.  \^Goes  to  pour  champagne. 
CoNSUELO  walks  about  thought fullt/.  Almost  all  are 
gone.      Only   the  principal   figures   are   left.'] 

Mancini 

{^Coming  to  her~\  :  But  it  is  really  becoming  inde- 
cent, Veronica.  Auguste  is  so  nice,  he  is  waiting  for 
you,  and  you  talk  here  with  this  clown.  Some  stupid 
secrets.  They're  looking  at  you — it  is  becoming 
noticeable.  It  is  high  time,  Veronica,  to  get  rid  of 
these  habits. 

CoNSUELO 

[Loudlyl  :  Let  me  alone.  Father !  I  want  to  do 
so,  and  will  do  so.  They  are  all  my  friends.  Do 
you  hear.?     Let  me  alone! 

Baron 

Don't,  Count.  Please,  Consuelo,  talk  to  whomever 
you   please  and   as  much  as  you  want.     Would  you 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  181 

like    a    cigar,    Count?      Dear    Briquet,    please    order 
them  to  prolong  the  intermission  a  little  more. 

Briquet 

With  pleasure,  Baron.  The  orchestra  crowd  can 
be  a  little  angry.  [Goes,  and  returns  shortly.  HE 
gives  a  glass  to  Consuelo.] 

He 

Here  is  yoiir  glass.  To  your  happiness,  to  your 
freedom,  Consuelo! 

Consuelo 
And  where  is  yours?     We  must  touch  our  glasses. 

He 

You  leave  half. 

Consuelo 

Must  I  drink  so  much?  He,  deary,  I  shall  be- 
come drunk.     I  still  have  to  ride. 

He 

No,  you  will  not  be  drunk.  Dear  Httle  girl,  did 
you  forget  that  I  am  your  magician?     Be  quiet  and 


182  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

drink.      I  charmed  the  wine.     My  witchery  is  in  it. 
Drink,   goddess. 

CONSUELO 

\_Lingeringly'\ :  What  kind  eyes  you  have.  But 
why  are  you  so  pale.'' 

He 

Because  I  love  you.  Look  at  my  kind  eyes  and 
drink ;  give  yourself  up  to  my  charms,  goddess !  You 
shall  fall  asleep,  and  wake  again,  as  before.  Do  you 
remember?  And  you  shall  see  your  country,  your 
sky  .    .    . 

CoNSUELO 

[^Bringing  the  glass  to  her  lips^  :  I  shall  see  all 
this ;  is  that  true  ? 

He 

[^Growing  paler^  :  Yes !  Awake,  goddess,  and  re- 
member the  time  when,  covered  with  snow-white  sea- 
foam,  thou  didst  emerge  from  the  sky  blue  waters. 
Remember  heaven,  and  the  low  eastern  wind,  and  the 
whisper  of  the  foam  at  thy  marble  feet.  .    .   .., 

CONSITELO 

IDrinking]  :     There !     Look !     Just  a  half !     Take 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  183 

it.    But  what  is  the  matter  with  you?    Are  you  laugh- 
ing or  crying? 

He 

I  am  laughing  and  crying. 

Mancini 

[Pushing  HE  away,  slightly']  :  Enough,  Countess, 
my  patience  is  exhausted.  If  Auguste  is  good  enough 
to  allo\/  it,  then  I,  your  Father — Your  arm,  Countess ! 
Will  you  step  aside,  sir? 

CONSUELO 

I  am  tired. 

Mancini 

You  are  not  too  tired  to  chatter  and  drink  wine 
with  a  clown,  and  when  your  duty  calls  you — Briquet! 
Tell  them  to  ring  the  bell.     It  is  time. 

CoNSUELO 

I  am  tired.  Father. 

ZiNIBA 

Count,  it  is  cruel.  Don't  you  see  how  pale  she 
has  become? 


184j  he    who  gets  SLAPPED 

Baron 
What  is  the  matter  with  you,  dear  little  Consuelo? 


CONSUELO 


Nothing. 


ZiNIDA 

She  simply  needs  a  rest,  Baron.  She  hasn't  sat 
down  yet  .  .  .  and  so  much  excitement.  .  .  .  Sit 
down  here,  dear  child.  Cover  yourself  and  rest  a 
little.     Men  are  so  cruel! 

Consuelo 

I  still  have  to  work.  \_Clos'mg  her  eyes.']  And  the 
roses,  are  they  ready  .f* 

ZiNIDA 

Ready,  dear,  ready.  You  will  have  such  an  ex- 
traordinary carpet.  You  will  gallop  as  if  on  air. 
Rest. 

Polly 

Do  you  want  some  moosic?  We  will  play  you  a 
song;  do  you  want  it? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  186 

CONSUELO 

[Smiling,  eyes  closed]  :  Yes,  I  do. 
[The  clowns  play  a  soft  and  naive  song-  tilly-poUy, 
tilly-polly.  General  silence.  HE  sits  in  the 
corner  with  his  face  turned  away.  Jackson 
•watches  him  out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye,  and 
drinks  wine,  lazily.  The  Baron,  in  his  usual  pose, 
wide  and  heavily  spread  legs,  looks  at  the  pale 
face  of  CoNSUELo,  with  his  bulging  motionless 
eyes.] 

CoNSUELO 

[  With  a  sudden  cry]  :     Ah !     Pain ! 

ZiNIDA 

What  is  it,  Consuelo? 

Mancini 

My  child !     Are  you  sick !     Calm  yourself. 

Baron 

[Growing   pale] :      Wait    a    moment.     .     .     .     She 
was  too  much  excited.     .     .     .     Consuelo ! 

Consuelo 

[Gets  up,  looking  before  her  with  wide-open  eyes,  as 
if   she   were   listening    to   something   within   herself] : 


186  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Ah!  I  feel  pain.  Here  at  the  heart.  Father,  what 
is  it?  I  am  afraid.  What  is  it?  My  feet  too  .  .  . 
I  can't  stand.  .  .  .  IFalls  on  divan,  her  eyes  wide 
open.'\ 

Mancini 

[Running  ahout'\  :  Bring  a  doctor!  Heavens,  it  is 
terrible !  Auguste,  Baron  ...  It  never  hap- 
pened to  her.  It  is  nerves,  nerves.  .  .  .  Calm 
yourself,  calm,  child 

Briquet 
Bring  a  doctor!     [Somebody  runs  for  a  doctor.'] 

Jackson 

[In  a  voice  full  of  fear^  :  He,  what  is  the  matter 
with  you.'' 

He 

It  is  death,  Consuelo,  my  Httle  Queen.     I  killed  you. 

You  are  dying. 

[He  cries,  loudly  and  bitterly.  Consuelo  with  a 
scream,  closes  her  eyes,  and  becomes  silent  and 
quiet.  All  are  in  terrible  agitation.  The  Baron 
is  motionless,  and  sees  only  Consuelo.] 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  187 

Mancini 

[Furious]  :  You  are  lying,  rascal !  Damned  clown ! 
What  did  you  give  her?  You  poisoned  her!  Mur- 
derer!   Bring  a  doctor! 

He 

A  doctor  will  not  help.     You  are  dying,  my  Httle 

Queen.     Consuelo !     Consuelo ! 

[Bezano  rushes  in,  cries:  "Briquet!"  becomes  silent 
and  looJis  with  horror  at  Consuelo.  Somebody 
else  come  in.  Briquet  is  making  gestures  for 
someone  to  close  the  door]. 

Consuelo 

[In  a  dull  and  distant  voice]  :  You  are  joking, 
He?  Don't  frighten  me.  I  am  so  frightened.  Is 
that  death?  I  don't  want  it.  Ah,  He,  my  darling 
He,  tell  me  that  you  are  joking,  I  am  afraid,  my 
dear,  golden  He  ! 

[HE  pushes  away  the  Baron,  w\th  a  commanding 
gesture,  and  stands  in  his  place  near  Consuelo. 
The  Baron  stands  as  before,  seeing  only  Con- 
suelo.] 

He 

Yes,  I  am  joking.  Don't  you  hear  how  I  laugh, 
Consuelo?     They  all  laugh  at  you  here,  my  silly  child. 


188  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Don't  laugli,  Jim.  She  is  tired,  and  wants  to  sleep. 
How  can  you  laugh,  Jim!  Sleep  my  dear,  sleep  my 
heart,  sleep  my  love. 

CONSUELO 

Yes,  I  have  no  more  pain.     Why  did  you  joke  that 
way,  and  frighten  me?     Now  I  laugh  at  myself.     You 
told  me,  didn't  you,  that  I     .      .     .     should 
live     .     .     .     eternally.'' 

He 

Yes,  Consuelo  !  You  shall  live  eternally.  Sleep.  Be 
calm.  [Lifts  up  his  arms,  as  if  straining  with  all  his 
forces  to  lift  her  soul  higher.1  How  easy  it  is  now! 
How  much  light,  how  many  lights  are  burning  about 
you.      .     .      .     The  light  is  blinding  you. 

Consuelo 
Yes,  light     ...     Is  that  the  ring.? 

He 

No,  it  is  the  sea  and  the  sun  .  .  .  what  a  sun! 
Don't  you  feel  that  you  are  the  foam,  white  sea-foam, 
and  you  are  flying  to  the  sun.?  You  feel  light,  you 
have  no  body,  you  are  flying  higher,  my  love! 

I  am  flying.  I  am  the  sea-foam,  and  this  is  the 
sun,  it  shines  ...  so  strong.  ...  I  feel 
well. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  189 

[She  dies.  Silence.  HE  stays  a  moment  with  lifted 
arms,  then  takes  a  long  look,  lets  his  arms  fall, 
and  shakingly  goes  off  to  one  side.  He  stands 
still  for  a  moment,  then  sits  down,  drops  his  head 
on  his  hands,  and  struggles  lonesomely  with  the 
torpidity  of  coming  death.'\ 

Bkiquet 

[Slowly^  :     She  has  fallen  asleep,  Mother? 

ZiNIDA 

[Dropping  the  dead  hand'\  :  I  am  afraid  not.  .  .  . 
Step  aside,  Louis.  Baron,  it  is  better  for  you  to  step 
aside.  Baron!  Do  jou  hear  me?  [TF^^p*.]  She  is 
dead,  Louis. 

[The  clowns  and  Briquet  are  crying.  Mancini  is 
overwhelmed.  The  Baron  and  HE  are  motion- 
less, each  in  his  place. 1 

Jackson 

[Drawing  out  a  large  prismatic  clown's  handker- 
chief to  wipe  away  his  tears^  :  Faded,  like  a  flower. 
Sleep,  little  Consuelo!  The  only  thing  that  remains 
of  you  is  the  trace  of  your  little  feet  on  the  sand. 
[Cries.l^  Ah,  what  did  you  do,  what  did  you  do,  He  ! 
It  would  have  been  better  if  you  had  never 
come  to  us. 
[There  is  music  i/n,  the  ring.^ 


190  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Briquet 

[Gesticulating]:      The    music!      Stop    the    music! 

They  are  crazy  there.     What  a  misfortune! 

[Someone  runs  off.  Zinida  approaches  the  crying 
Bezano  and  strokes  his  bowed,  pomaded  head. 
When  he  notices  her,  he  catches  her  hand  and 
presses  it  to  his  eyes.  The  Baron  takes  the  rose 
from  his  button-hole,  tears  off  the  petals,  and 
drops  it,  grinding  it  with  his  foot.  A  few  pale 
faces  peer  through  the  door,  the  same  masquerade 
crowd.] 

ZiNIDA 

[Over  the  head  of  Bezano]  :  Louis,  we  must  call 
the  police. 

Mancini 

[Awakening  from  his  stupor,  screams']  :  The  police! 
Call  the  police !  It's  a  murder  I  I  am  Count  Mancini, 
I  am  Count  Mancini!  They  will  cut  off  your  head, 
murderer,  damned  clown,  thief!  I  myself  will  kill  you, 
rascal !  Ah,  you !  [HE  lifts  his  heavy  head  with  dif- 
ficulty.] 

He 

They  will  cut  off  my  head?  And  what  more  .  .  . 
Your  Excellency? 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  191 

Baron 

Sir!  Listen,  sir!  I  am  going  for  the  police.  Stop 
it,  sir.  [He  suddenly  takes  a  step  forward,  and  look- 
ing HE  in  the  eyes,  speaks  in  a  hoarse  voice,  with  a 
cough,  holding  one  hand  at  his  throat.^  I  am  the 
witness.  I  saw.  I  am  a  witness.  I  saw  how  he  put 
poison     .     .     .     I 

[He  leaves  the  room,  suddenly,  with  the  same  straight, 
heavy  steps.  All  move  away  from  him,  fright- 
ened. HE  drops  his  head  again.  From  time  to 
time  a  tremor  shakes  his  hody.^ 

Jackson 

[Clasping  his  hands]  :  Then  it  is  all  true?  Poi- 
soned! What  a  vile  man  you  are.  He.  Is  this  the 
way  to  play?  Now  wait  for  the  last  slap  of  the  exe- 
cutioner! [Makes  the  gesture  around  his  neck,  of  the 
guillotine.     Tilly  and  Polly  repeat  the  gesture.] 

ZiNIDA 

Leave  his  soul  alone,  Jim.  He  was  a  man,  and  he 
loved.     Happy  Consuelo! 

[A  shot  is  heard  in  the  corridor.     Thomas,  frightened, 
runs  in  and  points  to  his  head.] 


192  HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED 

Thomas 

Baron     .     .     .     Baron     .     .     .     his  head     . 
He  shot  himself?     . 

Briquet 

[Throwing  his  arms  wp]  :     God!    What  is  it?    The 
Baron?     What  a  calamity  for  our  circus. 

Mancini 

The   Baron?      The   Baron?      No.      What   are   you 
standing  here  for?     Ah! 

Briquet 

Calm  down,  Count.     Who  would  have  believed  it? 
Such  a  respectable     .     .     .     gentleman! 

He 

[Lifting  his  head  with  di-fficulty;  he  sees  only  dimly 
•with  his  dulled  eyes'\  :    What  more?    What  happened? 

Thomas 

The  Baron  shot  himself.     Honestly.     Straight  here! 
He's  lying  out  yonder. 


HE    WHO  GETS  SLAPPED  193 

He 

[Thinking  it  over^ :  Baron?  [Laughs.^  Then 
the  Baron  burst? 

Jackson 

Stop  it!    It's  shameless.    A  man  died  and  you 
What's  the  matter  with  you,  He? 

He 

[Stands  up,  lifted  to  his  feet  by  the  last  gleam  of 
consciousness  and  life,  speaks  strongly  and  indig- 
nantly'] :  You  loved  her  so  much,  Baron?  So  much? 
My  Consuelo?  And  you  want  to  be  ahead  of  me  even 
there?  No!  I  am  coming.  We  shall  prove  then 
whose  she  is  to  be  for  ever. 

[He  catches  at  his  throat,  falls  on  his  back.     People 
run  to  him.     General  agitation.'] 

Curtain 


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